The Land of Grimney - The Illustrated Adventures of Cora Pearl, aged 12

Sorry to disappoint you all
But this is rather silly brawl
And I'm afraid it's all in vain
For what is in my lover's name?
Love is a constant eternal star
That lights my way from afar
Whether called Kalvos or Rand
We belong together on sea and land.

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http://themermaidmuse.wordpress.com/

Surely you know that pretty mermaid is just a tart,
Who lures men in with beauty to tear in half their heart?
She seems to use her charming ways on every foolish man she's met,
From the goodhearted Kalvos to that villian Vortigern Jett.
But men beware for her race that lives beneath the waves
Lives only to destroy humans' souls, and rush them to their graves.

No not me
She loves me truly
Although she is a bit unruly
You will soon all eat your words
When you realise I got the bird
That Randy Kalvos is the fool
He thinks that he is really cool
But he is soon in for a shock
He'll be laughed at, scorned and mocked
When Philomena marries me
I'm her heart's desire you see!

Brother Kallion hear my words true
There's not a chance I'll make love to you.
Spreading that pure false rumour
Is putting this mermaid in a bad humour.
Lister, to yourself do not delude,
You shall never see my body nude.
Nor shall my ruby lips will you get chance to kiss,
Kalvos, and Kalvos alone may have such bliss.
So pick up your lies and prize Kallion
And gallop off on your black stallion.

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http://themermaidmuse.wordpress.com/

I'd be upset but I know you jest
Everyone knows that I'm the best
That knight has made you blind my dear
But I'll win your heart so do not fear
The lady doth protest too much!
It's clear you love me very much
Just tell me when Rand's dumped my sweet
Then I'll throw myself at your feet!

Kallion the world knows we have met but twice,
And then I thought you were not at all nice.
I hope you can take this firm rebuff
And realise that I have had enough.
On marriage to Kalvos my heart is set,
And if he left me, I'd marry Vortigern Jett.

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http://themermaidmuse.wordpress.com/

Kallion! Are you deaf as well as stupid?
You've confused Bielzibub with Cupid
If Kalvos hears the words you speak
You'll find yourself amidst next week!
I'd give up now if I were you
You've bitten more than you can chew!
Admit defeat and do one please
While you're still in one full piece!

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http://barbarafromplanetzorg.wordpress.com

Meadow I hope your words of sense work,
I cannot seem to shake this jerk.
However Kalvos will draw his sword,
As the duel he fought for this reward:
To put aside his deadly blade
And to find himself a different trade.
So he will not resort to violence
To bring Brother Kallion to silence.

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http://themermaidmuse.wordpress.com/

If Tanith hears what he's said
Brother Kallion may end up dead!
She's carrying his babies too
and on top of that he's after you!
Kalvos won't be a happy bunny
I doubt if he will find it funny
After all that he's been through
So he can wed his love so true
That monk strikes me as being dim
Take my advice steer clear of him
I wouldn't like to wear his shoes
When Kalvos hears he's after you
What's wrong with the men in this land?
They just don't seem to understand
When a girl is spoken for
If he carries on he's going to store
up trouble for himself the fool
He'll end up fighting his own duel!

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http://barbarafromplanetzorg.wordpress.com

Brother Kallion is indeed a fool,
Although Kalvos will fight no duel.
From spilling blood he has retired
Even when jealousy is fired.
But he will not see Kallion as a threat,
For he knows the bound with me is set.
However telling Tanith would be grand,
She'll chase with a pitchfork across the land.

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http://themermaidmuse.wordpress.com/