LEE ANN MCCLURE - A FORGOTTEN PLACE - A POETRY ANTHOLOGY
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by lee ann mcclure
NYCTOPHOBIA
From darkness of the night
To morning break of light
What do you fear the most
What dread do you play host
Does silence seem too loud?
Or may that not be avowed?
Could there be someone there?
To which you must truly beware
It's dark and you're all alone
Your paranoia is overblown
Just cannot seem to sleep
Imagination takes you deep
What on earth was that sound?
Over there, do you turn around?
Perhaps, possibly, a ghost?
A spider on the bedpost?
A monster hiding in your closet?
A creature of some composite?
Or is it all just really your mind?
That's being so cruelly unkind?
That won't let you close your eyes
For fear of a nasty surprise
Sunrise is a welcome relief
You can sleep sound in the belief
That you're more safe in the day
When all horrors are kept at bay
It's far less lonely and cold
Completely exhausted but bold
Now falling into gentle slumber
Where fear can no longer encumber
Last Thoughts
Lying here knowing I'm going to die
No time to sit and question why
Blood seeping from my body so
Not sure just how much time to go
I did my job well, of that I'm sure
Bullet ridden body I now endure
I’m a soldier who has truly served his time
But I do believe, I’m taken in my prime
Twenty six years old is the age that I am
And yes I do really give a damn
I’ve fought this war, heart and soul
Live another day, that was my goal
Back home I did have a life
A little boy, a gorgeous wife
They were my reason to make it through
Making worthwhile all I do
My child I barely know at all
Mere weeks old when I got that call
My lady though, is my love so true
The most beautiful person I ever knew
Could she possibly know right now
That I have taken my final bow?
Is our love really so very strong
Right now, will her spirit know what's wrong
Thinking back to when I met her first
I was sure my heart was going to burst
She blew me away, that she did
Feelings like that, I could not forbid
First time we ever shared a bed
"I love you" were the words I said
Not too sure what she did to me
But happily where I wanted to be
"Hear me my love" inside I say
"Your soldier is going to die today"
She will never know the words I think
As my eyes do take the final blink
If only she knew the love I feel
Has helped me now truly conceal
The pain that riddles my body so
“I'm sorry baby it's my time to go”
Let me live in your heart so long
In my child, keep me strong
Heart dead but memory alive
Through our love I will survive
A Forgotten Place
Take me back to the place
That I love and know so well
I cannot tell you where it is
But there I can tell you I fell
For what I really am not sure
Even for who, I cannot say
But happy to go back there
To enjoy just one more day
The feelings inside it created
The love, the joy, the glee
Made me feel on top of the world
The pleasure was there to see
Not too sure how I got there
Or how to find my way back
I strive to be in that place
But memory to me, does lack
Why can't I find that place again?
What stops me from going there?
I know that deep within my heart
It truly is a place to share
It is not for the lack of trying
I'm sure it is easy to achieve
Knowing if I do get back there
I would never want to leave
A DIFFICULT DECISION TO MAKE
lyin on the bed, with every contraction
every push, moved the baby a fraction
the impact of the car hit him high in the air
flew to the ground, yet landed with flare
she screamed and she pushed but to no avail
after 22 hours of labour, she let out a wail
he lay on the ground no movement at all
his eyes were closed, he never felt the fall
take it easy she was told, rest and relax
when next one comes, push to the max
people around him, looked up saw the light
he was getting closer, it was gettin so bright
with inner calm, slowly she did push, no fuss
this baby was takin its time, was in no rush
he felt inner peace, someone took his hand
had come so far from where his body did land
she was exhausted, it was all taking so long
the midwife's concerned, something was wrong
something came to him, knew he could not fly
panic engulfed him, was not ready to die
the room filled with people so quickly that afternoon
that baby had to be born right now, not just soon
"come with me son" he heard that voice it did say
looked back to his body on the ground where it lay
tears filled her eyes, let her instinct not be right
god dont let this happen, her fears she did fight
so much not done, his children he needed to see
it isn't my time he thought, not now, not for me
minutes felt like hours, in two her heart was torn
the staff worked frantically, the baby was born
he wasnt going there, made up was his mind
he fought against it with all strength he could find
the silence was frightening, sorrow had replaced joy
he was born dead, the baby, he was a boy
eyes closed, body shuddered, came too with a start
eyes now opened, could feel life with all his heart
OR
the silence was frightening, this was like a bad dream
time stood still, then baby boy let out a scream
peace prevailed once more, this could not be fought
his time had come and now his soul, God had got
WHO LIVES? YOU DECIDE
Both sides of the Coin
Energetic, lively, wild or crazy
Laid back, quiet or just plain lazy
Up for a laugh and to have some fun
Or the big party, it...Would you shun?
Glass half full, our lives are to live
No get up and go, nothing to give
Something to say, hear your voice
Or keeping quiet would be your choice
A sunny outlook, everything is bright
Life is so hard, it's all such a fight
Put on some rock music, loud and bold
That is a racket, must be getting old
Where's your spirit? just be happy
Who say's I'm glum just coz I'm snappy?
Forget your worries, let yourself smile
No thanks.....Frowning is more my style!
A bed of roses, enjoy your life
What a worry, this trouble and strife
Cherish each day that you have got
It's all too much to bear, so fraught
If the first line equalled happy and gay
Second line more "nothing to say!"
Which side of the coin would you be today
And tomorrow.....Will it stay that way?
Chopsticks
I eat my soup with chopsticks,
Because I am loving you
Can I ever get it right in anything I do?
I buy you silk wrapped flowers,
But they always make you sneeze
I take you on romantic walks
But you dislike the breeze
Public displays of affection?
Oh no you think they're wrong
No pleasing you with hopes and dreams
Or the words of a lovesong
What can I do to prove my love?
To make it all brand new?
I would gift wrap the world
And give it all to you
Nothing seems to matter
No future can I plan
After all
As you have said to me
You're simply just a man
Our sex may keep us seperate
And always far apart
But in your hands
You hold the key
To unlock my troubled heart
For you soul it is inside me
And flows like blood through every vein
searing like dread fire
To cause torment and great pain
In terms of my drained body
For now I will make do
Eating soup with chopsticks
Because that is loving you.
Damned
They ripped me apart
Could taste their hot phlegm
The change it was instant
I'm now one of them
The hunger is large
A real need for food
My life is not mine
I'm misunderstood
My humanity gone
No more am I me
I'm just like an insect
Not this shell that you see
A blood splattered mess
Diseased through my veins
A lost condemned soul
This plague
It now reigns
Controlling my body
My urges
My mind
Searching and seeking
What peace will I find?
Looking beyond me
The answer’s in sight
Shambling towards it
No will left to fight
Victims are everywhere
Just look all around
Like lambs to the slaughter
They fall to the ground
I'm prey to this craving
No option
Must follow
This curse is enslaving
To a hunt fraught and hollow
I take life in my hands
With my cold dead embrace
Too much blood lust and crime
Mother Nature’s mistake?
I fight with what’s left
Bereft of my voice
Total despair
Can't control it
I have no choice
I am part of your Race
As will be my prey
I'm a zombie disgrace
Best you
Hide away!
Empathy
i sit and i stare and i wonder why
tears roll down my face, but i do not cry
never knowing why the thoughts do come
and how they do affect me some
absorbing sorrow and grief so deep
as if it all were mine to keep
can feel the pain of those who suffer
whose luck is down, life's much tougher
heart feels heavy, it gets me low
why i care, i just don't know
i'm only on the outside looking in
probably don't even know where to begin
that said, do also feel the good too
sometimes those moments seem so few
a person's laughter can make you smile
can bring such joy for a little while
you feel like nothing can bring you down
face lights up, there goes that frown
tears can roll, but they're a different kind
the one's others can see, and you don't mind
emitting good vibes, feeling great
the one's to which we can all relate
myself? i can feel exactly how you do
be you up or down, i do, it is true
there is no escaping any of it all for me
emotions from you that no other can see
nothing ever really goes unmissed
unfortunately for me, ever the empathist
Enticement
I'm trapped in this cocoon
I feel i cannot breathe
Watch you wriggle around
How that makes me seethe
I'm trapped, help me please
I just wish I could go back
It really is your own fault
If only greed you did lack
I only followed your trail
And this is where it led me
You were an easy victim
That was easy for me to see
It's late and it's dark
Home I was trying to find
You are stuck for me now
And that I truly don't mind
You tricked me, now here
Let me go free, please
An easy meal for me tonight
Opportunity I must sieze
A sticky, yellow blanket
It's tight, covering me up
I'll devour you slowly my love
Drink your blood from a golden cup
I'm numb now, air all but gone
Body paralysed with fear
Your life is over now, yes
Pray goodbye to all you hold dear
No fight left within my spirit
Eyes still open wide with shock
I'll unveil myself to you now
Your last thought I will mock
Can see you, evil monster?
The teeth with which you will eat?
Rotten souls of human kind
Is why I will not be beat
You said you'd see me home
But now my life you will take
An easy option thought you had
Another mistake you did make
You changed your form, fooled me
My eyes now seeing real you
Yes I tricked you, silly one
Enticement...... So easy to do
Look right into my eyes now
I know I did nothing wrong
Food is food to me, regardless
Of a heart still beating strong
Take me now, I'm yours
Enjoy me tonight as your meal
Save your moaning, precious one
Remorse i just do not feel.
Unknown and Unbound
Take me to a place I cannot go
To somewhere I will never know
It's out of reach, new, unknown
The path to there cannot be shown
A mountain range that never ends
The limit of love from your true friends
The edge of space cannot get to
An endless realm cannot get through
If finding here was easy to achieve
Would it be a place I could ever leave?
What if only death could get me there?
But with every soul I'd have to share
Would it still be such great paradise?
Or would I have paid the ultimate price?
Why can I not just reach out my hand
And touch and feel without demand?
Maybe I should just enjoy where I am
Take what I have right here in my palm
Stop trying to get to where I don't know
Forget finding infinity, just go with the flow.
Love Defies Death
His beautiful eyes had filled with tears
Seeing them only confirmed my fears
Gently touching my face with trembling hand
Us here together, this was not planned
Looking at him, my body going numb
These crushing wounds I must not succumb
We thought we'd live forever, together as one
Perhaps raise a family, a daughter or son
I don't want to leave you, my partner for life
Our love was forever, I'm your cherished wife
Tears filled my eyes, but I was unable to speak
My heart it was breaking and I felt terribly weak
I want the world to know what you meant to me
But deep down in your heart I'm sure you can see
My vision is fading but my thoughts remain true
Look into my eyes for they say "I love you"
Tears in my eyes, I tried to stay calm and cool
Her looking up at me, knowing she was no fool
I could not pretend, this really was a mess
The pain in my heart I just cannot express
My beautiful lady, lying here hurt and bleeding
Because an idiot was drink driving and speeding
For now I need to focus on her in front of me
Not really believing that this can actually be
Silently screaming "Don't die" I cannot lose you
Stay awake, keep fighting whatever you do
In my hands I am gently cupping your face
Trying to capture my angel's demeanour and grace
Her gaze never leaving mine, I can read it all
No words spoken for each other to recall
She was going to die, that much i knew
I found my voice strong enough to say "I love you"
The car came from nowhere, was driven by a clown
Time I'd turned around, she'd been mown down
Moments felt like hours, with still so much to say
But she was not going to see the end of this day
A true and deep love that bonded us both
But knowing that death would not limit love's growth
Nag Nag Nag
tell me who do you think you are
this time, you really pushed too far
don't speak to me again that way
don't want to hear what you say
had your manner been more nice
might just have taken your advice
i'm not here be spoken to like that
don't treat me like your doormat
laid back and nice, that is me
quite like that about me you see
but you're surely taking the mick
at me you had to nick and pick
make mountains out a molehill
but by God, now i've had my fill
of hearing you go on non stop
you just can't let anything drop
now i'm thinking like whatever
this really can't go on forever
enough is enough, moving on
peace and quiet is what I long
rediscover me and my mind
my inner self I hope to find
part of me mising for years
time to face all of the fears
embrace the person I am within
a new chapter about to begin
think more of me and what I do
realise it's not all about you
so maybe I should say thanks
for helping me fill in the blanks
you may have opened my eyes
to the new life before me that lies
Nature at Night
Full moon in the sky so bright
Filling the land with shadows and light
Moonbeams blend with darkness, stark in contrast
Stretching across the land, so far and vast.
Snow white and crisp upon the ground
Moon shadows are looming all around
Branches from trees piercing the sky
nature's beauty can never die.
Through the land a gentle breeze
The cold air generating Nature’s freeze
snowflakes spinning, landing everywhere
Leaving nothing exposed, nothing bare.
See that fox? There it goes
Where is it going? Nobody knows
As it moves, it leaves a trail
Searching for food, but to no avail.
Sounds are heard everywhere
Birds are chanting without a care
Awoken by the Winter cold
As Nature’s icy grip takes hold.
But darkness is a time to peak
A time for the Owl to search and seek
The hunt for food, the need to eat
Keeps many creatures in retreat.
The howl of a wolf in the distance so far
Echoes skyward to a shining star
Looking down over this enchanted scene
Its silver light is so serene.
Beautiful, cold, hidden but alive
A place where life does truly thrive
Quietly living their life with delight
Throughout each day and endless night.
Reflection
your reflection in the mirror
what is it that you see
yourself I would imagine
what else could it be
if you could see clearly
what lurked behind that glass
would you want to know
or would you let it pass
knowing the very truth
as your stood right here
no going back after this
it won't all dissappear
evil is looking back at you
your demon on the other side
in a place you never knew
darkness that is far and wide
the stale stench of death
surrounds this tortured soul
to end its own existence
would be its ultimate goal
it doesn't know your luxuries
can only see it in your eyes
its life so full of misery
for its future as it lies
not human in its form
small beastly horrible creature
but compassion in its eyes
a truly notable feature
for it knows what lies ahead
until the day you die
nothing for it will change
and now you wonder why
why is it so compassionate
why did I not know
why do I have a demon
why until the day I go
its born to dark you to light
this is your connection
united until death
this is your reflection
Sense of Fear
Standing in darkness all alone
Cold feet upon the stoney ground
Senses working overtime
Once more I hear a screaming sound
I try to capture every noise
But I cannot move because of fear
I feel I'm frozen to the spot
Something monstrous is so near
I can smell the dead and dying
I feel my own breath cold like ice
Perhaps my own sad life
Is something I must sacrifice
Feeling a deathly presence
With each shallow breath I gasp
Willing my body at least
To not release its grasp
Wondering why I'm here
Why I'm on my own
Except for what is there
Beneath me in this zone
What is this hell? This darkening room
I do not even have a clue
I maybe lost, I think I am
Trapped within my shadowed tomb
I cannot see, only hear
I cannot touch but I can feel
Alone but with a growing fear
That I am nothing and not real.
Blind fear is swelling in my heart
As I sense the death of my own being
My soul and body breaks apart
It is my corpse that I'm now seeing.
I am trapped between heaven and hell
I am lost and my fate is sealed
I am just a soul who fell
I died without my life fulfilled.
Slave to Love
Are we all a slave to love?
Why do we need it so?
Wanting to meet the one
And letting love just grow
Do we love ourselves enough?
To possibly go onwards alone?
Is finding love so necessary?
Or is best to be unknown?
Trying hard to impress
Giving all your heart
Only leaves us vulnerable
To be broken right apart
Discover the real you
Find out who you are
It'll make you a stronger person
And that strength will take you far
Do you really need someone
Without knowing yourself for real?
You must learn to know your value
What deep inside you feel
You're worth so much more
Don't give it all away
Be stronger than the others
And all the games they play
You are the better person
You can always rise above
Love youself for what you are
As you're not a slave to love
Sun versus Rain
Days of summer sun
Open doors to fun
Weekends are best
When we all at rest
The heat on your skin
Happy days begin
Makes you feel alive
Everything does thrive
It's all so bright
In glorious daylight
Scent of the flowers
Senses it empowers
Driving or walking
All do get talking
We all seem happy
Smiling, not snappy
Our garden or beach
Nowhere out of reach
Relaxed and chilled
A nice day to be filled
Picnic and ice cream
Weather is a dream
Kids swim in the sea
The buzz of a busy bee
Noise around is good
All in the best mood
Difference it makes
When the sun breaks
(as opposed to)
weekend does come
time to relax some
up saturday morning
bad weather warning
look out the window
back to bed want go
miserable and wet
but kids to amuse yet
face pulls a frown
what a big letdown
just what can we do
without get wet through
be busy everywhere
it's just not fair
indoors cost money
this is not funny
is all dull and dark
can't go to the park
feel lethargic more
bored to the core
drenched by far
time get to the car
everyone feels irate
now it's too late
can't decide what do
makes you feel blue
looking out at the rain
decide it's such a pain
The Prisoner
Here I stand within this cage
A man so very full of rage
The bars, this prison does confine
Has taken away this life of mine
Yes I did commit the crime
And here I am, doing my time
Money drove me to extreme
A luxury life, it was my dream
I had it all, along with glory
Inside here doesn't end my story
Nothing was out of my reach
Rules, to me, where there to breach
Women I did love, men I did hate
How could I have succumbed to this fate?
It was easy to get, all the money I had
Being so crazy, so very bad
Fear is how I did control
Being number one was my only goal
Nobody would dare disrespect
Bad manners I would have to correct
Violent and evil, that was me
It was my choice, it had to be
I was God, this was my town
never thought I'd be brought down
Foolishly took my eye off the ball
Got lazy, my biggest downfall
Valuable lessons I have learned
Revenge is mine, it's been earned
As I begin this lengthy stretch
One man's name I plan to etch
On the brain of who put me here
As he suffers pain and fear
My name.....he will never forget
Setting me up, he will regret
Freedom taken.....but not my mind
Comfort and solace I will find
For now, through these bars I stare
I'm still dangerous, so all beware!
Tortured Soul
Two hearts beating inside her
Twins, a girl and a lad
Children are all she has left
All she has left of their dad
But what is deep within her
Perhaps just a feeling of fear
Is evil waiting to be born
From that which she holds dear
Her boy, the one possessed
By the demon that killed her man
Is living inside her body
Mocking her every chance it can
The doctors say he is growing
His sister is not doing so well
While he blooms, the young woman wilts
But only with time can they tell
None of this she wants to hear
A bad dream, can not be real
Still grieving for lost love
Pain and loss she does feel
Are her thoughts just a crazy mind
Nobody believes what she knows
Her true love died in an accident
Nothing else sinister shows
But she was there when he died
And they were not alone
Something was tormenting them
Something dark and unknown
Now it's what she carries
At the detriment of her daughter
But how can she tell anyone
Her son she needs to slaughter
Could giving birth to this monster
Leave another person dead
Starting off with his sister
From her life he has already fed
Maybe she is just insane
Wretched thoughts just in overflow
What will come about from this
I guess we will never really know
Victory for One
In the darkness of a quiet night
The monstrous beast did prowl
The full moon in the sky was bright
As it let out a frightening howl
It's big white teeth so sharp and long
A pointed snout on a silver face
Hairy creature, large and strong
Snarling aggressively in this place
What it faced now, it could eat
There was nowhere for poor Jim to hide
he faced a werewolf he could not beat
In this dark hole so big and wide
Lurking in the corner was this stranger
But for his trousers, Jim stood there bare
Did he not realise he was in danger?
Stuck within this beast's dark lair
Jim was an easy meal for him tonight
The beast would devour avidly but slowly
Squatting under the marvellous moonlight
Drinking his blood and eating his flesh wholly
The beast didn't know that in front of him
That Jim was not just an ordinary man
Out of the dark into the light so dim
Emerged a vampire with a plan
Must put to sleep this demon in his midst
Thus eliminating his competition
In this life he just had to subsist
Think of himself, this his own admission
No room in this land for beasts to share
Their species were enemies to the end
Could not co-habit, there would be despair
Impossible for them to both befriend
Face to face, each empowered within
Knowing one of them had to go
As one will die, the other will win
Who that will be, I do not know...
Wit that aw Aboot?
o wit a richt braw bonnie face
naewhere wud look oot o place
if this laddie came intae yer life
ye'd surely want tae be his wife
noo a big heid he disnae hae
some lass may get him yin day
but fur noo life's the dogs baws
sorry hen, retract yer claws
come on away noo, dinnae greet
plenty mare fur ye tae meet
ye'll gie yersen a richt beamer
nae ta fur a bam pot screamer
life's fur livin, that's wit he'll dae
but nae wi you, heed wit i say
move oan, let yer sour puss thaw
ken wit? he only loves his maw
and jis why shud he know?
when in life he hus far tae go
pure bored he disnae want tae git
wifey and weans kin wait a bit
nae gettin caught wi breeks doon
but wi his pals can hit the toon
tae watch the bonnie lassies sway
and enjoy life each an a yin day!
Wit that aw Aboot?
o wit a richt braw bonnie face
naewhere wud look oot o place
if this laddie came intae yer life
ye'd surely want tae be his wife
noo a big heid he disnae hae
some lass may get him yin day
but fur noo life's the dogs baws
sorry hen, retract yer claws
come on away noo, dinnae greet
plenty mare fur ye tae meet
ye'll gie yersen a richt beamer
nae ta fur a bam pot screamer
life's fur livin, that's wit he'll dae
but nae wi you, heed wit i say
move oan, let yer sour puss thaw
ken wit? he only loves his maw
and jis why shud he know?
when in life he hus far tae go
pure bored he disnae want tae git
wifey and weans kin wait a bit
nae gettin caught wi breeks doon
but wi his pals can hit the toon
tae watch the bonnie lassies sway
and enjoy life each an a yin day!
© lee ann mcclure 2011
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