LEE ANN MCCLURE - A FORGOTTEN PLACE - A POETRY ANTHOLOGY

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by lee ann mcclure

                                                          


 NYCTOPHOBIA

From darkness of the night
To morning break of light
What do you fear the most
What dread do you play host
Does silence seem too loud?
Or may that not be avowed?
Could there be someone there?
To which you must truly beware
It's dark and you're all alone
Your paranoia is overblown
Just cannot seem to sleep
Imagination takes you deep
What on earth was that sound?
Over there, do you turn around?
Perhaps, possibly, a ghost?
A spider on the bedpost?
A monster hiding in your closet?
A creature of some composite?
Or is it all just really your mind?
That's being so cruelly unkind?
That won't let you close your eyes
For fear of a nasty surprise
Sunrise is a welcome relief
You can sleep sound in the belief
That you're more safe in the day
When all horrors are kept at bay
It's far less lonely and cold
Completely exhausted but bold
Now falling into gentle slumber
Where fear can no longer encumber


Last Thoughts 

Lying here knowing I'm going to die

No time to sit and question why

Blood seeping from my body so

Not sure just how much time to go

 

I did my job well, of that I'm sure

Bullet ridden body I now endure

I’m a soldier who has truly served his time

But I do believe, I’m taken in my prime

 

Twenty six years old is the age that I am

And yes I do really give a damn

I’ve fought this war, heart and soul

Live another day, that was my goal

 

Back home I did have a life

A little boy, a gorgeous wife

They were my reason to make it through

Making worthwhile all I do

 

My child I barely know at all

Mere weeks old when I got that call

My lady though, is my love so true

The most beautiful person I ever knew

 

Could she possibly know right now

That I have taken my final bow?

Is our love really so very strong

Right now, will her spirit know what's wrong

 

Thinking back to when I met her first

I was sure my heart was going to burst

She blew me away, that she did

Feelings like that, I could not forbid

 

First time we ever shared a bed

"I love you" were the words I said

Not too sure what she did to me

But happily where I wanted to be

 

"Hear me my love" inside I say

"Your soldier is going to die today"

She will never know the words I think

As my eyes do take the final blink

 

If only she knew the love I feel

Has helped me now truly conceal

The pain that riddles my body so

“I'm sorry baby it's my time to go”

 

Let me live in your heart so long

In my child, keep me strong

Heart dead but memory alive

Through our love I will survive

 

 A Forgotten Place

Take me back to the place

That I love and know so well

I cannot tell you where it is

But there I can tell you I fell

 

For what I really am not sure

Even for who, I cannot say

But happy to go back there

To enjoy just one more day

 

The feelings inside it created

The love, the joy, the glee

Made me feel on top of the world

The pleasure was there to see

 

Not too sure how I got there

Or how to find my way back

I strive to be in that place

But memory to me, does lack

 

Why can't I find that place again?

What stops me from going there?

I know that deep within my heart

It truly is a place to share

 

It is not for the lack of trying

I'm sure it is easy to achieve

Knowing if I do get back there

I would never want to leave

 


A DIFFICULT DECISION TO MAKE 

lyin on the bed, with every contraction

every push, moved the baby a fraction

the impact of the car hit him high in the air

flew to the ground, yet landed with flare

 

she screamed and she pushed but to no avail

after 22 hours of labour, she let out a wail

he lay on the ground no movement at all

his eyes were closed, he never felt the fall

 

take it easy she was told, rest and relax

when next one comes, push to the max

people around him, looked up saw the light

he was getting closer, it was gettin so bright

 

with inner calm, slowly she did push, no fuss

this baby was takin its time, was in no rush

he felt inner peace, someone took his hand

had come so far from where his body did land

 

she was exhausted, it was all taking so long

the midwife's concerned, something was wrong

something came to him, knew he could not fly

panic engulfed him, was not ready to die

 

the room filled with people so quickly that afternoon

that baby had to be born right now, not just soon

"come with me son" he heard that voice it did say

looked back to his body on the ground where it lay

 

tears filled her eyes, let her instinct not be right

god dont let this happen, her fears she did fight

so much not done, his children he needed to see

it isn't my time he thought, not now, not for me

 

minutes felt like hours, in two her heart was torn

the staff worked frantically, the baby was born

he wasnt going there, made up was his mind

he fought against it with all strength he could find

 

the silence was frightening, sorrow had replaced joy

he was born dead, the baby, he was a boy

eyes closed, body shuddered, came too with a start

eyes now opened, could feel life with all his heart

 

OR


the silence was frightening, this was like a bad dream

time stood still, then baby boy let out a scream

peace prevailed once more, this could not be fought

his time had come and now his soul, God had got

 

WHO LIVES? YOU DECIDE


 


Both sides of the Coin

Energetic, lively, wild or crazy

Laid back, quiet or just plain lazy

 

Up for a laugh and to have some fun

Or the big party, it...Would you shun?

 

Glass half full, our lives are to live

No get up and go, nothing to give

 

Something to say, hear your voice

Or keeping quiet would be your choice

 

A sunny outlook, everything is bright

Life is so hard, it's all such a fight

 

Put on some rock music, loud and bold

That is a racket, must be getting old

 

Where's your spirit? just be happy

Who say's I'm glum just coz I'm snappy?

 

Forget your worries, let yourself smile

No thanks.....Frowning is more my style!

 

A bed of roses, enjoy your life

What a worry, this trouble and strife

 

Cherish each day that you have got

It's all too much to bear, so fraught

 

If the first line equalled happy and gay

Second line more "nothing to say!"

Which side of the coin would you be today

And tomorrow.....Will it stay that way?

 

 

 Chopsticks

I eat my soup with chopsticks,

Because I am loving you

Can I ever get it right in anything I do?

I buy you silk wrapped flowers,

But they always make you sneeze

I take you on romantic walks

But you dislike the breeze 

Public displays of affection? 

Oh no you think they're wrong

No pleasing you with hopes and dreams

Or the words of a lovesong 

What can I do to prove my love?

To make it all brand new?

I would gift wrap the world

And give it all to you

Nothing seems to matter

No future can I plan

After all

As you have said to me

You're simply just a man

Our sex may keep us seperate 

And always far apart 

But in your hands

You hold the key

To unlock my troubled heart 

For you soul it is inside me 

And flows like blood through every vein

searing like dread fire

To cause torment and great pain 

In terms of my drained body 

For now I will make do

Eating soup with chopsticks

Because that is loving you.



 

Damned

They ripped me apart

Could taste their hot phlegm

The change it was instant

I'm now one of them

The hunger is large

A real need for food

My life is not mine

I'm misunderstood

My humanity gone

No more am I me

I'm just like an insect

Not this shell that you see

A blood splattered mess

Diseased through my veins

A lost condemned soul

This plague

It now reigns

Controlling my body

My urges

My mind

Searching and seeking

What peace will I find?

Looking beyond me

The answer’s in sight

Shambling towards it

No will left to fight

Victims are everywhere

Just look all around

Like lambs to the slaughter

They fall to the ground

I'm prey to this craving

No option

Must follow

This curse is enslaving

To a hunt fraught and hollow

I take life in my hands

With my cold dead embrace

Too much blood lust and crime

Mother Nature’s mistake? 

I fight with what’s left

Bereft of my voice

Total despair

Can't control it 

I have no choice

I am part of your Race

As will be my prey

I'm a zombie disgrace

Best you

 Hide away!


 

Empathy

i sit and i stare and i wonder why

tears roll down my face, but i do not cry

never knowing why the thoughts do come

and how they do affect me some

absorbing sorrow and grief so deep

as if it all were mine to keep

can feel the pain of those who suffer

whose luck is down, life's much tougher

heart feels heavy, it gets me low

why i care, i just don't know

i'm only on the outside looking in

probably don't even know where to begin

that said, do also feel the good too

sometimes those moments seem so few

a person's laughter can make you smile

can bring such joy for a little while

you feel like nothing can bring you down

face lights up, there goes that frown

tears can roll, but they're a different kind

the one's others can see, and you don't mind

emitting good vibes, feeling great

the one's to which we can all relate

myself? i can feel exactly how you do

be you up or down, i do, it is true

there is no escaping any of it all for me

emotions from you that no other can see

nothing ever really goes unmissed

unfortunately for me, ever the empathist


Enticement

I'm trapped in this cocoon

I feel i cannot breathe

Watch you wriggle around

How that makes me seethe


I'm trapped, help me please

I just wish I could go back

It really is your own fault

If only greed you did lack


I only followed your trail

And this is where it led me

You were an easy victim

That was easy for me to see


It's late and it's dark

Home I was trying to find

You are stuck for me now

And that I truly don't mind


You tricked me, now here

Let me go free, please

An easy meal for me tonight

Opportunity I must sieze


A sticky, yellow blanket

It's tight, covering me up

I'll devour you slowly my love

Drink your blood from a golden cup


I'm numb now, air all but gone

Body paralysed with fear

Your life is over now, yes

Pray goodbye to all you hold dear


No fight left within my spirit

Eyes still open wide with shock

I'll unveil myself to you now

Your last thought I will mock


Can see you, evil monster?

The teeth with which you will eat?

Rotten souls of human kind

Is why I will not be beat


You said you'd see me home

But now my life you will take

An easy option thought you had

Another mistake you did make


You changed your form, fooled me

My eyes now seeing real you

Yes I tricked you, silly one

Enticement...... So easy to do


Look right into my eyes now

I know I did nothing wrong

Food is food to me, regardless

Of a heart still beating strong


Take me now, I'm yours

Enjoy me tonight as your meal

Save your moaning, precious one

Remorse i just do not feel.

 

 

        Unknown and Unbound         

Take me to a place I cannot go

To somewhere I will never know

It's out of reach, new, unknown

The path to there cannot be shown

A mountain range that never ends

The limit of love from your true friends

The edge of space cannot get to

An endless realm cannot get through

If finding here was easy to achieve

Would it be a place I could ever leave?

What if only death could get me there?

But with every soul I'd have to share

Would it still be such great paradise?

Or would I have paid the ultimate price?

Why can I not just reach out my hand

And touch and feel without demand?

Maybe I should just enjoy where I am

Take what I have right here in my palm

Stop trying to get to where I don't know

Forget finding infinity, just go with the flow.

 

Love Defies Death

His beautiful eyes had filled with tears
Seeing them only confirmed my fears
Gently touching my face with trembling hand
Us here together, this was not planned
Looking at him, my body going numb
These crushing wounds I must not succumb
We thought we'd live forever, together as one
Perhaps raise a family, a daughter or son
I don't want to leave you, my partner for life
Our love was forever, I'm your cherished wife
Tears filled my eyes, but I was unable to speak
My heart it was breaking and I felt terribly weak
I want the world to know what you meant to me
But deep down in your heart I'm sure you can see
My vision is fading but my thoughts remain true
Look into my eyes for they say "I love you"

Tears in my eyes, I tried to stay calm and cool
Her looking up at me, knowing she was no fool
I could not pretend, this really was a mess
The pain in my heart I just cannot express
My beautiful lady, lying here hurt and bleeding
Because an idiot was drink driving and speeding
For now I need to focus on her in front of me
Not really believing that this can actually be
Silently screaming "Don't die" I cannot lose you
Stay awake, keep fighting whatever you do
In my hands I am gently cupping your face
Trying to capture my angel's demeanour and grace
Her gaze never leaving mine, I can read it all
No words spoken for each other to recall
She was going to die, that much i knew
I found my voice strong enough to say "I love you"

The car came from nowhere, was driven by a clown
Time I'd turned around, she'd been mown down
Moments felt like hours, with still so much to say
But she was not going to see the end of this day
A true and deep love that bonded us both
But knowing that death would not limit love's growth

 

   Nag Nag Nag

tell me who do you think you are

this time, you really pushed too far

don't speak to me again that way

don't want to hear what you say

 

had your manner been more nice

might just have taken your advice

i'm not here be spoken to like that

don't treat me like your doormat

 

laid back and nice, that is me

quite like that about me you see

but you're surely taking the mick

at me you had to nick and pick

 

make mountains out a molehill

but by God, now i've had my fill

of hearing you go on non stop

you just can't let anything drop

 

now i'm thinking like whatever

this really can't go on forever

enough is enough, moving on

peace and quiet is what I long

 

rediscover me and my mind

my inner self I hope to find

part of me mising for years

time to face all of the fears

 

embrace the person I am within

a new chapter about to begin

think more of me and what I do

realise it's not all about you

 

so maybe I should say thanks

for helping me fill in the blanks

you may have opened my eyes

to the new life before me that lies

 

Nature at Night

Full moon in the sky so bright
Filling the land with shadows and light
Moonbeams blend with darkness, stark in contrast
Stretching across the land, so far and vast.

Snow white and crisp upon the ground
Moon shadows are looming all around
Branches from trees piercing the sky
nature's beauty can never die.

Through the land a gentle breeze
The cold air generating Nature’s freeze
snowflakes spinning, landing everywhere
Leaving nothing exposed, nothing bare.

See that fox? There it goes
Where is it going? Nobody knows
As it moves, it leaves a trail
Searching for food, but to no avail.

 

Sounds are heard everywhere

Birds are chanting without a care

Awoken by the Winter cold

As Nature’s icy grip takes hold.

 

 But darkness is a time to peak
A time for the Owl to search and seek
The hunt for food, the need to eat
Keeps many creatures in retreat. 

The howl of a wolf in the distance so far
Echoes skyward to a shining star
Looking down over this enchanted scene
Its silver light is so serene.

Beautiful, cold, hidden but alive
A place where life does truly thrive
Quietly living their life with delight
Throughout each day and endless night.

 

 

 

Reflection

 

your reflection in the mirror

what is it that you see

yourself I would imagine

what else could it be


if you could see clearly

what lurked behind that glass

would you want to know

or would you let it pass


knowing the very truth

as your stood right here

no going back after this

it won't all dissappear


evil is looking back at you

your demon on the other side

in a place you never knew

darkness that is far and wide


the stale stench of death

surrounds this tortured soul

to end its own existence

would be its ultimate goal


it doesn't know your luxuries

can only see it in your eyes

its life so full of misery

for its future as it lies


not human in its form

small beastly horrible creature

but compassion in its eyes

a truly notable feature


for it knows what lies ahead

until the day you die

nothing for it will change

and now you wonder why


why is it so compassionate

why did I not know

why do I have a demon

why until the day I go


its born to dark you to light

this is your connection

united until death

this is your reflection

 

Sense of Fear

Standing in darkness all alone

Cold feet upon the stoney ground

Senses working overtime

Once more I hear a screaming sound

I try to capture every noise

But I cannot move because of fear

I feel I'm frozen to the spot

Something monstrous is so near 

I can smell the dead and dying

I feel my own breath cold like ice

Perhaps my own sad life 

Is something I must sacrifice  

Feeling a deathly presence

With each shallow breath I gasp

Willing my body at least 

To not release its grasp 

Wondering why I'm here

Why I'm on my own

Except for what is there

Beneath me in this zone 

What is this hell? This darkening room

I do not even have a clue

I maybe lost, I think I am 

Trapped within my shadowed tomb 

I cannot see, only hear

I cannot touch but I can feel

Alone but with a growing fear 

That I am nothing and not real.

Blind fear is swelling in my heart  

As I sense the death of my own being

My soul and body breaks apart

It is my corpse that I'm now seeing. 

      I am trapped between heaven and hell

I am lost and my fate is sealed

I am just a soul who fell

I died without my life fulfilled.

 

Slave to Love

Are we all a slave to love?
Why do we need it so?
Wanting to meet the one
And letting love just grow

Do we love ourselves enough?
To possibly go onwards alone?
Is finding love so necessary?
Or is best to be unknown?

Trying hard to impress
Giving all your heart
Only leaves us vulnerable
To be broken right apart

Discover the real you
Find out who you are
It'll make you a stronger person
And that strength will take you far

Do you really need someone
Without knowing yourself for real?
You must learn to know your value
What deep inside you feel

You're worth so much more
Don't give it all away
Be stronger than the others
And all the games they play

You are the better person
You can always rise above
Love youself for what you are
As you're not a slave to love

 

 

Sun versus Rain

Days of summer sun

Open doors to fun

Weekends are best

When we all at rest

The heat on your skin

Happy days begin

Makes you feel alive

Everything does thrive

It's all so bright

In glorious daylight

Scent of the flowers

Senses it empowers

Driving or walking

All do get talking

We all seem happy

Smiling, not snappy

Our garden or beach

Nowhere out of reach

Relaxed and chilled

A nice day to be filled

Picnic and ice cream

Weather is a dream

Kids swim in the sea

The buzz of a busy bee

Noise around is good

All in the best mood

Difference it makes

When the sun breaks

 

(as opposed to)

 

weekend does come

time to relax some

up saturday morning

bad weather warning

look out the window

back to bed want go

miserable and wet

but kids to amuse yet

face pulls a frown

what a big letdown

just what can we do

without get wet through

be busy everywhere

it's just not fair

indoors cost money

this is not funny

is all dull and dark

can't go to the park

feel lethargic more

bored to the core

drenched by far

time get to the car

everyone feels irate

now it's too late

can't decide what do

makes you feel blue

looking out at the rain

decide it's such a pain

 

 

The Prisoner

Here I stand within this cage

A man so very full of rage

The bars, this prison does confine

Has taken away this life of mine

Yes I did commit the crime

And here I am, doing my time

Money drove me to extreme

A luxury life, it was my dream

I had it all, along with glory

Inside here doesn't end my story

Nothing was out of my reach

Rules, to me, where there to breach

Women I did love, men I did hate

How could I have succumbed to this fate?

It was easy to get, all the money I had

Being so crazy, so very bad

Fear is how I did control

Being number one was my only goal

Nobody would dare disrespect

Bad manners I would have to correct

Violent and evil, that was me

It was my choice, it had to be

I was God, this was my town

never thought I'd be brought down

Foolishly took my eye off the ball

Got lazy, my biggest downfall

Valuable lessons I have learned

Revenge is mine, it's been earned

As I begin this lengthy stretch

One man's name I plan to etch

On the brain of who put me here

As he suffers pain and fear

My name.....he will never forget

Setting me up, he will regret

Freedom taken.....but not my mind

Comfort and solace I will find

For now, through these bars I stare

I'm still dangerous, so all beware!

 

 

Tortured Soul

 

Two hearts beating inside her

Twins, a girl and a lad

Children are all she has left

All she has left of their dad


But what is deep within her

Perhaps just a feeling of fear

Is evil waiting to be born

From that which she holds dear


Her boy, the one possessed

By the demon that killed her man

Is living inside her body

Mocking her every chance it can


The doctors say he is growing

His sister is not doing so well

While he blooms, the young woman wilts

But only with time can they tell


None of this she wants to hear

A bad dream, can not be real

Still grieving for lost love

Pain and loss she does feel


Are her thoughts just a crazy mind

Nobody believes what she knows

Her true love died in an accident

Nothing else sinister shows


But she was there when he died

And they were not alone

Something was tormenting them

Something dark and unknown


Now it's what she carries

At the detriment of her daughter

But how can she tell anyone

Her son she needs to slaughter


Could giving birth to this monster

Leave another person dead

Starting off with his sister

From her life he has already fed


Maybe she is just insane

Wretched thoughts just in overflow

What will come about from this

I guess we will never really know

 

Victory for One

In the darkness of a quiet night

The monstrous beast did prowl

The full moon in the sky was bright

As it let out a frightening howl


It's big white teeth so sharp and long

A pointed snout on a silver face

Hairy creature, large and strong

Snarling aggressively in this place


What it faced now, it could eat

There was nowhere for poor Jim to hide

he faced a werewolf he could not beat

In this dark hole so big and wide


Lurking in the corner was this stranger

But for his trousers, Jim stood there bare

Did he not realise he was in danger?

Stuck within this beast's dark lair


Jim was an easy meal for him tonight

The beast would devour avidly but slowly

Squatting under the marvellous moonlight

Drinking his blood and eating his flesh wholly


The beast didn't know that in front of him

That Jim was not just an ordinary man

Out of the dark into the light so dim

Emerged a vampire with a plan


Must put to sleep this demon in his midst

Thus eliminating his competition

In this life he just had to subsist

Think of himself, this his own admission


No room in this land for beasts to share

Their species were enemies to the end

Could not co-habit, there would be despair

Impossible for them to both befriend


Face to face, each empowered within

Knowing one of them had to go

As one will die, the other will win

Who that will be, I do not know...


Wit that aw Aboot?

o wit a richt braw bonnie face

naewhere wud look oot o place

if this laddie came intae yer life

ye'd surely want tae be his wife

 

noo a big heid he disnae hae

some lass may get him yin day

but fur noo life's the dogs baws

sorry hen, retract yer claws

 

come on away noo, dinnae greet

plenty mare fur ye tae meet

ye'll gie yersen a richt beamer

nae ta fur a bam pot screamer

 

life's fur livin, that's wit he'll dae

but nae wi you, heed wit i say

move oan, let yer sour puss thaw

ken wit? he only loves his maw

 

and jis why shud he know?

when in life he hus far tae go

pure bored he disnae want tae git

wifey and weans kin wait a bit

 

nae gettin caught wi breeks doon

but wi his pals can hit the toon

tae watch the bonnie lassies sway

and enjoy life each an a yin day!

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

© lee ann mcclure 2011

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