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by GnomeingSpriteicus




You don’t have to just discover a Dodo to be Ace,

after all Pelicans are important, helping the Human Race.

There are happy Goblins giving away their Mace,

 These days Scarecrows are entirely made of Lace!



Bats and Butterflies talking different Languages,

have recently solved an interesting Case,

Some of them are 24 Colours starting at the Base.

A Tortoise has beaten a Human at the 100 Metre Race,

because her legs were flying all over the Place.



Every Human and Animal in the World,

has a very beautiful Face,

but a Spider will see you and give Chase,

if you Tease somebody for wearing a Brace. 





                                    ANTEATER IS A GOOD FRIEND.


I demand to have My Anteater named soon,

He never cries, but always eats,

a page of my favourite book.

I found Him helping butterflies cross the road

And learnt Human Languages ignoring Animal ones.


Can I legally keep him?

 Shall I change his name?

 Help, Help call the Police,

 Anteater suddenly hates all Ants!

 The Anteater’s Birth Certificate has been eaten by an unknown Animal,

 But worse Anteater has eaten the margarine on my toast!



Anteater is now disguised in adults clothes

and I use a fishing net to capture

my  only diet food-Ants!

Anteater goes out to work,

whilst I dry out snails,

but all Ants are eating my House into dust!






I am a Creature who is learning to be good,

who flies and cleans lamps without blinking.

I discovered 20 varieties of cream on the Shooting Star,

which is sold to Fairies, who are proud of me.



In giving away Creature Dictionaries to nearby Villages,

Flags were displayed with my lovely 3 Noses on it.

I cut off my beard for Charity whilst asleep,

Homeless Elves sleep under it,

hoping to be Adopted by me.



The suspicion of Creatures is beginning to collapse,

because we are now allowed to wear Human clothes.

We now have proper homes built by Insects

and do nature jobs with Butterfly payment.

A Creature Prince Marries a Human,

On Planet Earth for the first time ever!




                                    BEAR IS READY TO MEET YOU


                   We are in a Town, yet there is the Bear,

                   who is lost, so she cleverly fired a Flare.

                   Bear did this because bad people

                   wanted her trapped in a Snare.

                   Bear is beautiful and can dance without a Care.  



                   When I was Young, a Bear approached me as a Dare,

                   all I could do was smile and offer a Pear.

                   We know Humans and Animals kindness can both be Fair,

                   Bear said “Take 2 and a Half strands of My Hair.”



                   This Bear was unusual in liking the Town Air,

                   yet thinks she must be the Town Heir.

                   Bear would like to keep lost Animals in Her nice Lair,

                   Providing They are more than 1 Inch tall, that’s Rare!

                   Bear said “They must not mind what Clothes to Wear”

                   And I hope we can all make up a Prayer.




                        EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR YOU ALL THE YEAR


I shall never be fat as an adult,

because I walk 2 Miles each way to School and back.

The Birds and Animals offer lifts at 1000 Metres high,

But I refuse and spread Magic Herbs on their Wings.



This is England in August,

It is not a Dream, it is Snowing.

I was rescued by Sky Spiders when the Clouds froze.

My secret Den has been taken over by Talking Leaves,

Who want to be pressed in Books to survive Winter.



The Town shuts down for Autumn and opens all Winter.

My Dresses always change colour on the hour.

My thinking will always be that Summer Eyed Smile,

Which I hope will last all My Life.






It is 1 Insect, a King and Queen Bee,

who shouted out loud enough to Marry a Flea,

whose first and middle Name are all called Dee.

The problem is how many guests will fall in the Ghee?

When that happens surely everybody else will Flee.



Bee and Flea won 1st Prize to stay alive beneath the Sea

And to meet all the Sea Cucumbers provided endless Glee,

despite eating with their Mouths open at Tea.

All the Creatures ever wanted was to be addressed as “She”

and helped Bee and Flea draw a Picture by Paul Klee.








                   Grandma, Grandma please leave Your House very soon,

                   We Worship You and want to see You a lot more.

                   We know You are very old, but Hitler does not spare.

                   Your House may be small in a quiet street,

                   But it is World War 2 Grandma, which sometimes you forget.



                   Grandma, Grandma Your Garden Saviour, the Air Raid is complete,

                   It has lots of room for You and other admired things.

                   We are escaping now, God Willing will see Your face soon.

                   Father is hopefully fighting in some Mysterious Land,

                   Rather than being Dead, leaving us children and Mother ill.



                   Children, Children I have some cruel News.

                   A neighbour of Grandma told me Grandma was hiding

                   under the table in the outside Toilet room.

                   Only a few Bombs dropped, but brings Grief and Suffering.

                   Mummy, Mummy why was Grandma’s Address written on the bomb?



                   Mother ,Mother we Your loved Cherubs will help People more,

                   In this Worse than Hell War,

                   where a Second Old Baby

                   was Killed before being Adored.

                   One Day You will Understand What Grandma Achieved during this War

                   And never Dare Lower Her Heroics during The 1ST World War!





Hello, I am a Goblin who only eats Wasp margarine,

If I behave, I can translate Tales to Fairies in the Well.

The Supermarkets employ me 10 times after Midnight,

to look after their friendly Fruit Flies.



There are less gardens for Goblins juggling radishes,

Being a Garden Gnome would want me to help the Bats.

Greedplay is My Cousin who dreams only of cakes.

I am the only Goblin who controls the Weather once a Week.





                   HOW NICE IT IS TO SWIM IN THE SEA


Look over there at the Sea Horses surfing superbly,

Mermaids sunbathe during low tide at their Midnight Volunteering,

Jelly Fish persuade Humans to Swim during the Winter months.

King Neptune was feeling extra Magical and less shy,

showing Humans His Shark Garden without anybody needing protection.



There have always been Life Guards made out of Computers,

helping on this Beach 24 Hours a Day because

the Half Human Half Sea Salt very round shaped Ships,

may Spirit the Tourist trade away to the High Tide Rulers.

One Day a Day, Humans along with soon to be Sea Adults,

Skate on drinkable Sea foam with the secret Beach Welcomers.






   If you find my Home which is made out of drawing pins,

   You may spot a Stone by the front lawn.

   It has got a face written on it in permanent black pen,

   How many other houses in the Land have got that!



   Care is needed as weeds threaten to cover its face,

   Around 80% of visitors see it and are happier.

   Stone keeps busy putting its weight,

   On bags of grass once a week.

   When it is very cold, Stone is allowed in the night kitchen.


   I kiss Stone from time to time,

   Who cares if I am spotted!

   Stone is only 2 inches high and is alive,

   Guess its age and you become,

   a life member of the “Stone Face Society!”




                                                LIMES ARE GOOD IN MANY WAYS


Hey Kid, work with me selling Limes,

We however will never be rich working only in Dimes,

why the distant stare? It is better than committing Crimes,

at your age my Dad was working down the Mines.



Help, the tables selling Limes are turning into Slime,

all my Life I have only worked with Grime.

I am clever but cannot tell the Time,

One day I will speak on top of a Pine.



Please entertain passers-by with your gift of Mime,

Your face is so expressive when You begin to Whine.

Now all that is left is our Lime Sign.

Well done, Your Business Skills are in their Prime,

so my Work Partner will give you a Job in Design. 






I am 3 Metres Tall and only 6 Years Old.

5 people always jump on my neck,

for a free ride to School.

My clothes are made from Jelly just for fun

and I always wear an umbrella, well why not?!



Every day I have a friend in front of me,

clearing Insects always from my huge steps.

If I kill one, I will soon Grow another Metre.

I talk to the Moon who always replies to me straight away.



Three Years on and I am rescuing Children from Danger

 And every time My Height still goes up a lot.

 I have been on the News around the World,

 but cannot sneeze in case People become Deaf.



Find out my Name by asking the Midday Stars in the Sky.

I work for People with Toe nail and Tongue problems.

I can Fly by flapping my long legs

And will go Anywhere in the World to Help You! 






I am a Cat, only friends with a Rat.

I practice rap on my mat,

without a pat on my back,

yet can jump up and kiss a Bat!



My owner has sometimes sung “Your a brat”,

but I am old enough,

to float through the Cat flap.



I sat until boredom made me say “Drat”,

yet won first prize wearing my Hat.

Laugh now, for all I took Home was a Gnat

And worse of all, I had to pay the Vat!



                             MUSIC HELPS PEOPLE'S LIVES


I love hearing Music in my bedroom,

be it Pop, Classical, Reggae or Soul.

I am 7 and sing like nobody heard before,

please World, Love Me as a Singer when I grow up. 



I met a Fairy who took me to other Worlds,

my hair turned different colours, yet I smelt only Magic.

My singing was good and bad, but Friendships meant more,

on Earth my only admirers are the posters on my wall.



A Friend and I sat and closed our eyes,

by a ruined house when Centaurs invited us in.

They wanted to be understood in the Human World

and for us to make Centaurs and Humans,

always equal and best Friends.



In the end I was a Singer, pleasing every part of Earth,

then gave it all up to follow my Childhood Promise.

Now the Centaurs are an everyday respected sight on Earth

and although I am now Dead,

understanding and helping others was my best effort on Earth.






Wood and Leaf promised they would stay Best Friends,

on the First day of starting at School.

They will share the beauty and the Evil of Life,

until one of them finishes surely Decades from now?



Now Leaf is at Woods Funeral, only 100 Years Old

and was Honoured to speak some beautiful words from the Brain.

He said “Wood lived for exactly 100 Years

and if I live for another 90 Years,

I will keep the Fountains of our Friendship alive.”


Leaf sang aloud “Our Caring Words are made by the Faithful,

who have fallen on Earth inside Rain Drops.”

Their caring will always remain a Best Seller,

in Charity Shops only, but in Every Shop.

Do you believe in saying Caring Words a Lot?

For they can be used by All.




                                     I TALK ABOUT CAT


My Cat is 41 years old,

proud to have an orange stomach,

a black back, 2 legs and a very weird outlook.

Cat lived in my bed for ten years until I got Married,

Cat got Married to Edward, my Wife’s Teddy Bear.


I never leave Cat in a car in case she gets pinched

and when I die I want Cat cremated with me.

She has stuffing wool in her ears

And old stockings supporting her neck.


Cat and Edward look after 43 animals in our bedroom,

They all support animals under a nearby field 24 hours a day.

 Looking out of my car on journeys, Cat and others are having fun.

 When I speak in my Father in Law’s voice I use cat’s voice.



 Beth and I had a second wedding cake, of Cat, who else!

 And it nearly all got eaten, thanks to my Best Man praising her.

 Last week Cat was hugged by Children at my nephews 2nd Birthday,

 when I dressed as Postman Pat, with Jess his Cat.




                             THE GOOD OLD DAYS?


          My Son aged 8 climbed up the Chimney for a dare

          and discovered some Bones over 100 Years Old.  

         Our Family has been living here for many Centuries,

         we were only interested in Riches not the Poor.



          The Bones were that of a 4 Year old Girl,

          Who could not go to School for She was very Poor.

          Our Ancestors made her Clean the Chimney Once a Day!

          They were so cruel never using Her Name.



          Her only rest was walking a long way in her Sleep,

          She got stuck in the Chimney and quickly came to grief.

          The many Magical Creatures who secretly lived in this House,

          pushed her out of the Chimney Top and into the Clouds.



          The Chimney was taken down by Fire Creatures,

          Who now live in a bright River.

          As a Lesson about Cruelty, the Girls Bones,

          will always be shown in a local Museum.

          The Creatures still give Free Help in this House,

 by Curing every Child entering this House with Sleeping Problems.




                             THE GUIDE TO STAYING A RABBIT


          I think it is a Fable,

that I was born a Rabbit.

I only waved My tongue to strangers,

avoiding the kitchen like the Devil collecting gloom.



I have lived in 99 and a half Countries,

not many for my Silver Age.

I survived well staying in Rubbish Bins,

but they were graded First Class by petaled forget Creatures.

The Mice wore gems with only honey dripping from them.


Is it a Myth I survive strongly or weakly?

The Illnesses at one time included staring for so long.

The only necklace I wore was from a Steel Birds Nest,

given in a Dream which melted into Fantasy mixed with Reality.



What right have I to wash my Story in the pollen

or take out my Ears to protect the crawling ones?

Now I am just a crimson Animal Story,

with so many different News Items still lovingly adored.




                        THE RAINBOW REALLY IS GOING TO MEET US


Here we are standing in a School Play Ground,

when we see a Rainbow falling from the Sky.

The Rainbow begins to talk to us without any problem,

“Please love my Colours and let me land.”



 We are the Golden Children, because of reaching ends of Rainbows,

 There is no Gold on this one, but 20 different Colours.

  We climb over the Rainbow, each Colour is warmer than the other.

  The Journalists start arriving, the oddest day in their working lives.



  The Sun climbs a little lower and thanks the Rainbow,

   for introducing Magic into our Hearts.

   We the Children have to be under 10 Years old.

   Older Children weighing more will sink poor Rainbow in the ground

    and will lose its Colours in only 1 Day.



    2 Hours later and Rainbow has made lots of Friends,

    We place Presents on the Rainbow colours.

    When People reach the end of a Rainbow,

    to only get the Gold,

    their greed will turn to Joy. 






Why is that Body doing Sit Ups?

It cannot be, Yes it is a Ghost,

who for the first time forgot to eat it’s Toast,

yet instead wickedly ate my neighbours Dinosaur Roast!



The Adults gave Ghost first prize-A Lifetime

of stopping unkind Ghosts haunting the Coast.

Ghost is putting it’s 60 Middle Names on every persons Post

and telling everybody “Have a Good Life,”

without having to open it’s eyes to Boast.



Ghost sings in 25 different Tunes,

So now Ghost is the perfect Host,

Yet he wanted to Graduate to a Clown Ghost the Most!   






When I was Young I tried to bake a Cake,

by chance however I created a Hake,

who did not want to live in a Lake,

so I looked after it without taking a break.



The above made every Human say to me “For goodness sake”,

the crumbs need clearing yes use a rake!

 I knew however their coat buttons were all awake

 and by this time my laughter began to ache.



 Now my only love is clearing the grate,

 Yet I changed my Name in a lane called “Pake.”

 Somebody there said “Amazing, I am still Captain Awake”,

 So now in Life do I Make or Take? 






           He or she the new Teacher enters the room,

          Teacher does not speak, but is not all gloom.

          The Teacher has no eyes or ears

          and was waving 4 hands when teaching Art. 



          It is like acting in a Show rather than having a cold,

         the time goes backwards and some of our Teeth fall out.

         The Lice on our heads start to move about,

         In a Maths class we start Adding up without any help.



        What we learn today will melt our Lives

        and the new Teacher turns into a coin again.

        Our Relatives enter the room as the new Teachers,

        They must only be addressed as Mr and Mrs Love Reading. 



       The Bell keeps ringing, we can only go when it stops,

       now it has been eaten by one of the Top Class.

       There are strange People walking by our heads,

       When we start to sleep and dream We can leave.




                             TOAD WHAT ARE YOU LIKE?


Look over there at that good Toad,

who holds both Ears before crossing the Road.

She, despite carrying a massive load,

always Sings out “The Green Cross Code.”



This Toad did good Work,

by the Toad Play area being mowed,

Whilst only around Toad Pond was it howed.

The Toad only escaped by a

mystery land Vehicle being invisibly rowed,

Toad learnt Human Talk, so future Rewards were sowed.



The Toad always owned 2 tails,

so Her weakness was in telling Tales.

However She did very well with a Career in Sales,

plus being an Inspector of hay bales,

meant her Surname being renamed as “Cales.”





                                    WHEN  WE  ALL STARTED  SCHOOL


          Yes it is great We now have to go to School,

           I was Working 70 Hours a Week Cleaning Floors.

           I am 6, the earliest School Leaving Age is now 10.

          This is England 1870, a huge Empire,

           before now the Government only saw Children as Work Machines. 



          I feel Younger now having School Friends for the 1ST time

          And my Knees are improving to those of somebody My Age.

          My Parents feel Guilty about not putting me in School earlier,

          Their Reading and Writing is improving with me the Tutor.



          60 Years Later, I still run art Classes,

           for only the Poorest People in Town.

           Thank You School for giving me,

           A Second Chance in Life.

           I am Old now, but lived longer because of Education.     



                    WHEN DO YOU DO ALL THESE THINGS?


His Mouse like Wings fell off making me weep,

But when thinking about Chocolate made my mouth so deep.

He made a lawn mower in 44.4 Seconds, what a creep,

But Walking the Plank Daily was the biggest Leap.



The Midday Weasels without moving closed forever his yawns,

Yet if I eat his shadow, it will always bleep.

Exercise Daily Your Hair or whispering will forever be on the heap.

They ate curses causing them to Reap.



The 11 doors on it will always rust your Jeep,

Swim obeying the thunder or the Crabs will peep.



                             YOU AND YOUR RIGHTS


  You always have the perfect Right,

   to break up a nasty fight.

   You will feel enjoyment as a Kite,

   with Squirrels hanging on it, enjoying a free Flight.



   Keep trying well at School with all Your Might,

   If teased about Glasses tell them the importance of Sight.

   The telling of Lies at School,

   will always cause you Blight.

   The Caring Friends are the best tray of Delights.



          You like caring for your pet Woodlice at Night,

           but one tickled your lip giving you a Fright.

           Look at us 4 pink Mice always looking Nice,

           please never worry about your Height.






© GnomeingSpriteicus 2014


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