This story is rated 3 stars (2 ratings).

by GnomeingSpriteicus



Chicken, lamb and peanuts too,

as they sang around the bonfire,

Cooking the memories of a heated day.

Two pennies each please, to rest by the fire,

did anybody ask “If the wood burning comes from the skies?”


It is a Cross still wailing about Events a Month ago,

when a Man titled Jesus stopped breathing on it.

The Person who saved it, asked that justice be done,

best Wood ever, as fire sighs and gladly sleeps.


The blood stained Wood burnt well, yet Jesus had style,

a Dove rested on me, when his last call was heard,

yet the bonfire of Christ's Cross, made me become a true Christian.

This barbecue costs nothing, yet

tomorrow’s Work never ends,

spreading Prayer, more than lighting

Candles, for Christ never leaves.





Judas Iscariot, so many Years of hate and shame,

but we, the Christian Community are to blame.

Jesus’s words, “Everybody must be forgiven”, escape our grasp.

The Curses Poison the air around the area of Judas’s Hanging tree,

which cleared temporarily when a newborn Child

was named Judas there.



Judas may have been for Years, the selected sacrificial Lamb,

but by cutting short Jesus’s Preaching time, made it precious,

than Years of Possible declining Audiences

and bored of hearing ones own Voice.

Judas had a headache and was upset at the Last Supper.

When young, did Judas think “I will die Violently”?



Kissing Jesus was the worst kiss of my Life

And the Praises received has stuck to my skin.

It is the first time I have let a friend down,

the Vultures may have me as their celebrated tea.

Perhaps one day I may be forgiven?





Why should I go to Church? when Jesus Christ,

was born, lived and died hundreds of miles away.

Why is that Country today regularly awash with flames?

Some only want me to listen to Religious Teachings at School,

So I will not again have Sex with that girl during Lunch time pause.

The Ten Commandments are in the Old Testament anyway.



The largest Congregation in Our Church are the Spiders.

There is more pressure on me, because my Names are Biblical.

There were 38.5 People playing “God” in my Favourite Disco Place.

Sunday Morning, some Friends are asleep, dreaming of sleeping more,

Whilst I Mentally draw Pictures of God on the Church Walls.



The Vicar vanished in a cloud of Smoke during the Sunday Service,

“Vicar, you are really my hero, my proper Mentor”.

We found Vicar outside the Church speaking in many Tongues,

so I said “Sorry for my Sinning”, in an Angelic voice to the Vicar,

behind Vicar, I saw Jesus smiling and waving a hand at Me.





The Streets of Bethlehem were alive with Trading cries,

when I was Lost, I fell over the steps of a small Room, cursing God.

This was because a Baby was weeping in tune, what cherub mouth,

the Parents with love, let me have some sacred space for sleep.



I was allowed the Baby in my cursed hands,

Feeling warmth and inner Strength, this innocent Child felt Blessed.

I uttered to Baby soothing Prayers and touched his Head.

I told his parents, “Your Child will never be any Trouble”,

They smiled and said, “God bless You, Your Words are Honest”.



It was 50 Years Later, I Discovered the Baby was Jesus Christ and

remembered his Love to Me when Holding him in my Worthy Hands.

Jesus has Changed the World for the better for ever.

I am lucky enough to have drawn the only Picture of the Baby Jesus,

Which I will hand Peacefully to Jesus’s Family one Day.



If the Authorities find it, I might be Crucified,

For some meaningful reason, I would Sacrifice my Life for Jesus.

The World has a new Hero, so we can Rest Peacefully when Dead.

I wonder how much in Life, My Picture of Jesus is Worth?

but God means more, Surely now my Life has New meaning?

Knowing I have Painted on Paper the Body of The

Definitive Blessed One, Jesus Christ.




It is my Seventeenth Operation to Rid the Numbers 666,

which appeared on My Forehead a few Seasons ago.

My Crimes versus Humankind, with the First Course never ending,

the attention, My Detention, I was good at Numbers at Work.

Unwelcome Idols, Branded jokes, even across the Marshes.



I discovered the Devil’s Grave, so I cannot reach God Home,

the Combination Lock is Complicated, the Curious queue for Hours

and the Hole at least is filled Up with my Crimes.

I Tried the Stigmata Game, causing Temporary Loss of Hair in Church.

One Six is Fading, because Everybody Sings a Carol in July, in the Operation Room.



The last two Sixes are Happily being Purged in Heaven Correctly,

for the Devil’s Grave is now 170 Foot Long, of God’s Earth now.

Its Burial Chamber is Full of Positive Religious Quotations regarding Peoples Lives,

Handbells Ring Worldwide, whispers to Rejoicing, The Devil’s been Tamed.







Uncle always denied he said Prayers, despite living through numerous Wars,

“Waste of stinking time a Church Building giving me a free Funeral” said he.

He would have laughed his tongue off, knowing he died on Easter Day,

just when Religious Singers waved to him going past his door.

A Church Funeral is demanded, Uncle paid 2 pence for it in his will.



We think the Religious Drama is over, with Curtain around Coffin,

suddenly a Curtain opens and “The Brain God” from the Furnace appears.

Some people gasp “We have seen Jesus Christ”, but others remained polite.

The Brain God all in White Shrieks “Anybody interested in Uncle’s last request”?



It was the most Religious listening our Family had ever done,

When Brain God said “Your Uncle told me he believes,

Jesus died on a Seven Foot Cross, and was Happily restored back to loving Life

and Ascended into Heaven before Midday, now Uncle wants a Religious Song”.

Brain God draws some Words into the Air and vanishes into Heaven.

We keep Singing our Own Words “Let’s follow this Religion,

Easter Day will always be Now Our Favourite Day”.







A swear box would be rich though People giving pennies for saying “Oh my God”

This is the reality of God’s making, Death, Survival and Newborn,

Religion is lost and found at the fastest rate in any Place Worldwide.

Some felt God kidnapping their thoughts, because Everybody Prays here.



There is real Religious Belief here, because People’s Prayers are most sincere.

Why does God not know how long my New Heart will last? God Spoke on

the Religious Radio Show, “Much Pain Here, but the only Gain is Following Me”.

Somebody asked to borrow God’s inspiration for keeping awake whilst Working.



An Ill Person wants God to rest because God Takes on everybody’s Trauma.

A Newspaper Reporter said they saw God Retire, when the Hospital was pulled down.

Some Hospital Workers felt their Work was the nearest they got to being with God.

Hospital’s are the Genuine Number One God Provoking

reluctant Pilgrimage Places during most Peoples Lives.






I follow God on a daily basis now,

having been diagnosed with Schizophrenia Aged 30,

Depression at 29, Post Traumatic Stress Aged 25

and a minor Brain Problem before Birth aged 29.

A few Prayers wakes me up quicker in the Morning

And I feel safer having Prayed before the night’s rest.



I have enjoyed reading the Bible in a Year,

It’s joyful how often God Forgives People in the Old and New Testament,

There is only 1 Week Reading left, I will miss the Security it gives my Mind.

Beth is improving my stagnant Religious contact with engaging Bible study.

Jesus walks closer to me, because of Religious continuity in my Life.



Dear God, thank you for keeping me Alive Today

and for any contribution to Society I can make.

I Pray for Family, Friends and Others, about everyday things, God helps my mind.

I am thankful that God has given me Loving Family, Friends, A Home etc.

Life with These Mental Health Problems is easier,

By finding out more about God Daily, Thank You God.







I go to peoples houses and collect the unwanted Religious items,

there are hundreds every day, I lost 9 pounds in weight through sorrow.

One person wanted to donate herself, but said she was too old.

An elephant appeared with crosses on it saying they were Gods transport.



We cleared vegetation, finding an abandoned Church,

whilst singing “We are never perfect”.

Alive people spoke of being there God like for 500 Years,

kept alive by their captors sinning thoughts whilst dead.

I met some Cherub who said it prayed for Peoples character.

The Cherub had seen God create Adam and Eve.



I melted down all these Religious items,

Into a Figure, which they have called “God Part Two”.

It is thirty foot high, a new beginning for God,

Come along, its free, its more popular than any Cathedral.

It is painted all pink and says amusing and Spiritual things,

God Part Two, soon to be unveiled and happy to be here.






Sometimes I get very hurt by it,

But most times, I am overjoyed.

Most People will find it in their lifetimes,

my name is God and I invented Love.



I hope people do not always compare their beauty to Religious Royals,

It is important to remember there are snakes in every relationship.

The greatest Love of anything is me,

You know how irritating it is, when a partner thinks they are perfect.



If I end the relationship, hopefully my apology will be felt.

Love is the greatest present I ever gave to Humankind.

How many people say, “God is the greatest Love story”?

Curse me, avoid me, in the end, I pull the strings.



Select me, I am God, even though I destroy Love,

You can have somebody and me.

I am God, I am perfect, the securest Love to have is me,

24 hours a day Love service.

My name is God, blame it all on me? For I invented love.





We caught this ghost in our Church,

With our clever machine, there was no pain.

There are people having dreams, which are recorded,

The religious ones are marked with a symbol = Saved.



The Religious dreams have now been melted down,

into liquid form and put in syringes.

Our ghost was injected with Religious dreams, it’s no longer scary,

its resurrection has been voted good by the congregation. The ghost

wrote on the wall, “please Religious people can I have a Funeral”?



There was a lady in her 50’s who killed somebody,

because she wanted to be different.

We were given permission to inject her with Religious dreams,

She converted a cat and six other lives into something good.



We have collected countrywide religious dreams from mainly

Non believers and work closely with the Medical Profession.

We held a party to thank our ghost, without which our Religious drams

idea, would have been considered a bizarre Film Script.

People can select from all the Worlds Religions, every one is special.






In her bedroom time stood still,

when a Magical Being kissed a five year old girl.

Her life was transformed, she spoke for the first time,

she wants to find out who this hero is.

Her Parents who share the same room, stayed awake for 7 nights.



The Parents had a second childhood talking about this Magical Being,

they filmed it with daughter, showing her laughing for the first time.

Parents were both told penguins would chase them if bad when children,

they knew they’d met Magical Being when young,

but their Families fanatically disputed it.



Mother and daughter have been teased so much about this,

the Family swore to be loyal to Magical Being everyday.

This Magical Being can hold on to you during your life.

The Miracle like this girl, happens globally every day.






I get another weapon and smash, smash, smash Monasteries,

I feel like a sinless length of rope, but whose brave enough to hang me?

After the Church Service, well informed People? Sold my family pew.

Henry the VIII’s poisoned mind has made me a criminal.



I cover my child’s eyes with food, so they will not see,

my only DIY 100% completion = Monastic destruction.

I will change names, my God protection has expired,

Two fellow destructors were murdered by God’s bad mood yesterday.



The Monks presented me with a figure of Christ as a remainder of Life,

that our humble house was now acceptable for people to pray in.

The figure woke me up last night, it was walking around the room,

I have been Praying for 18 hours without a break,

I think I will never stop, my Religious Punishment?





Dear Lord, please cast Your shadow over this great smog,

which has infiltrated our neighbourhood and crept through walls.

I hear the pain of Jesus on the cross,

when writing to the Medical Services for saving Mother,

the Angels had taken her, then reprieved her from smog.



I am fighting the smog with Church candles and Holy Bible,

pleasing passages are read out in many octaves of terror.

The whole house is full, the Church bells ringing “Oh doom”.

I take pictures for the Religious Politicians Praying nearby for the Town.



People pass by whipping their backs, calling God for help,

yet my Sister is still receiving counselling about smog.

40 Years have passed, I have been to Church every day,

praising Religious Charities of long ago who conquered the smog, so

people today live a smogless life by following their Religions each day.





The little girl, places oranges onto my Grave every Year,

as her friends sing praises round me for many hours.

This gives my bones strength to last another Year on God’s Earth,

However, I have made greater advances with my mind in Heaven.



My Grave survives, because its struck by lightning every few months,

an act of God which helps me! for my bones can hear the Church music more.

My bones are almost 400 Years old, when all good bones enter Heaven.

Yes, I am still applying through generations of my family to be Cremated,

my bones are too old to be of moral interest to the Religious archaeologists.



400 Years! The great cloud tour of the Lord is here.

My final bones breathes its last Religious thought with God perfect soil,

my most faithful companion, because I talk to the expelled snakes,

who were allowed back when saving a child from a Happy Slapping incident.



Hundreds of God thistles appear, so the Church Wardens return

and seal on each others lips a Religious kiss, which is

a final tribute to recognise my bones are in Heaven.

The little girl touches my bones and falls into restful sleep,

because she is going to be Cremated, the first for hundreds of Years.

I only have a little wait, God gave me patience,

to think more about God made Heaven and Praying there is space for me.





I was once an ordinary whale, playing guess whose the ugliest fish,

when suddenly I spotted Gods strange creature called human.

It looked a tasty snack, my first official supper, but swallowed whole!

Many hymns were spoken inside me, God joyfully kept this mortal alive.



When going towards the surface, I saw only guilty humans on Crucifixes,

my Creator God, told me to take more pity on some things less intelligent than me!

I had wanted to eat King Neptune, for wounding me with his Religious fork.

God said “You will always be remembered world-wide in some Religious book”.



Now what’s happening, oh dear I am Praising human,

whose kidnapped many Gods creatures for creativity, without Gods permission.

Creatures attack my sinning teeth, for letting human live in my Sacred stomach.

I am in shallower waters, please God, show your eyes can save,

You have awarded me “King of the waters”, yes every fish day.



So I breathe in for 43.75 Seconds and Whoosh God’s plague has left me,

It is funny hearing it pray to God, flying through the air,

but a massive finger from Heaven breaks its fall.

The human Praises me in Religious singing tones and kissing my tooth.

Oh human, I do not like eating Religious People, God passes on this message.

My reward is to save any humans, God’s best creatures, for eternity.










God has made my son mad, who else can I blame?

Yet he shrieks joyfully about Religion in a devoted loving stance.

There is a five foot seven inch man called Jesus,

Jesus can learn from my son more about God when healing him.



Do the crowds want my son to die? Afraid of Jesus’ power to heal?

My son said Jesus was very good looking,

which will help my sons healing and make money from him,

telling suspicious people, of how his faith made him well again.



Today, my son is hitting himself with a stone,

when he met Jesus, he bowed down, saying he was normal.

Did Jesus touch him? The crowd were starving for a miracle,

Yet Jesus said, “Look elsewhere for God created objects to save you”.



A few days later, my son was hit,

by a vegetable in the market place.

He grabbed the vegetable saying, “This is my God made salvation,

God created fruit and vegetables for me to be well”.

My son has rescued his own sanity by working out his God diet.



I pause, did God ever breathe insanity into my child?

Or was it quacks? who falsely said they loved God the best.

They told him, “God is most puzzled by your illness”.

However my son’s faithful verdict reigns over all his doubts,

trusting Jesus is the best rule of life.







The stench of hope, humans pushing people over,

cries many times louder than, correct, yes most seem like animals.

Minds are on, who knows where? Yet excitement is still here,

yet even the near dead will win because God cares.



It is thirsty work, one dreams of drinking water when awake,

some people make you sick, by them seemingly dying in front of you.

So many hopes, but not all of them can win today.

The leader will soon evaporate, when if ever is the next visit?



I hope I have saved families torn visions today, by working for God,

heaven knows how much my tongues spoken effectively?

The pay is my attempt to inhale the Masters Teachings,

instead of gifts, my neighbour must love me for this.



People were too concerned with themselves or with their family,

not humble enough to say to me,  “How are you”?

We clear up the litter, 2 bodies included, who scorned us for that?

However, we recorded our Teacher converting them into life.



I don’t want years added to my life, for my own thrills today,

the bread is mouldy, my hair is falling out, but who cares!

Thank you Lord for letting me follow someone perfect at least,

at work for one day next week with my Protector Jesus Christ.








My house if full of evil, God hating pumpkins,

but if I sleep upright, they will vanish into Heaven.

The pumpkins started falling from the desks when I said the Lords Prayer

and started eating all my religious objects.



I have had 6 Vicars in here all turning orange,

because the pumpkins thought their religious talk was too complicated.

My stolen religious objects are weighed by the chief religious pumpkin,

then the objects are thrown in the air and wind God,

decides if they will be thrown into Heaven or Hell.



Top of my Religious list was Victoria Plum,

who had 7637 Prayers said to her in 120 seconds by one person.

She sang the best Religious song and turned the pumpkins into plum jam.

A multitude of bats stuck between Heaven and Hell,

stored sway the jam and gave it to the Sacred people stuck in hell,

who had dared to sleep lying down and the evil took them.



My religious objects fell out of the fire and started talking in tongues,

pumpkin God wrote a 969 page letter of an ancient Religious apology.

A Saint outside sold me Victoria Plums pro Religious shadow,

So every pumpkin who touches my house will be taken away,

By God’s reindeer all singing “God is here”.








It is so sacred carrying Jesus’ Cross, I pray louder every step,

the mob like tortured Angels screaming, Jesus said “be patient”.

If I escape, what fantasy to be killed, for following Christ’s Religion.

Sun increases delusions to provide comfort for Jesus before his renewal.



Somebody shout out “That is the cross I made”.

So I replied “The Lord God forgives murderess including you”.

My God made words froze, wondering what Jesus would think?

Jesus is still touching, thus healing the sick, not redundant yet.

Everyday is a fruitful paradise for Jesus, how lucky to be him!



I try to sing Praising Christ, but God silenced my words,

I need help, but focusing on Jesus’ pain forgives the ordeal.

One swipe of this cross could kill Christ before he is crucified,

shall I do it? But I don’t need human love, I love God.



Many centuries later, I am employed in Heaven, the best place.

I am ringing the Society promoting Christian Knowledge,

Speaking like God’s newborn child, thanking them for the Bibles sold,

With my name in it, Simon Of Cyrene, please do not forget me.

I became a Christian one minute before Jesus died,

not because I survived the taunts of me being a Martyr,

It was because Jesus forgave the Romans for invading many Countries.









The family today, all dressed in bright colours because Jesus is happy,

to prove to people, him sacrificing his life, can allow people to make

Religious mistakes, knowing Jesus forgives our character everyday.

We all kissed the Cross Jesus was on, he said “everybody has courage”.



We kept putting off Jesus Teaching, bathing was essential and more fun.

Jesus is the average age to die, to die later would surely mean Jesus would

overshadow the pioneering Religious Teachings expected by his Disciples?



Somebody nearby the Cross is working full time counselling people,

That our World will never feel such a Spiritual place again.

The Cross should be taller, when dying, respect is best.

Jesus’ agony ensured he was not criticised by Religious Hecklers who felt,

God’s message could have been spread further, by Jesus in his early 20’s.



We would have rescued Jesus on the Cross today, but the awe on

peoples faces, made us realise, there is worldwide implications on today’s happenings.

When it got dark, I buried myself temporarily for respect, by Christ’s Cross.

How many minutes did it take God to create Jesus?



It was a humbling day, all of us lost our jobs,

for taking a day off to see an innocent God die.

However, it was God’s day, the smell of death has a Religious duty,

reminding people, there will be another day like this when we die,

we will then be transported to, now what did Jesus say?








Jesus, I am going to sue you,

for killing all my pigs who had Religious names.

They were my rock, I prayed with them each day.

The problem is you Jesus are so important, God will not punish you.

Does Jesus have the same nightmares as me of being bankrupt?



So what if 2 people were healed by Jesus?

The money people of Nazareth can afford to pay me Compensation,

because  their most eccentric son Jesus made a mistake,

murdering innocent defenceless pigs in this way is sinning, nobody is above that.

I light black candles everyday on the dead hill side,

wailing for my only Religious companions, bring them back to life Jesus.



I am still spiritually alone and Jesus is now dead. Jesus saying “Sorry”

and granting me a place in Heaven would have been good compensation.

However recently, I sang to Jesus’ followers on the hillside,

about my pigs, about their origin of their Religious names.



Jesus’ followers all stood up, surrounded me and Prayed for me,

they could see why I was angry with Jesus.

The next day without prompting I preached,

why Saintly Jesus rescued 2 peoples lives.

Come along who ever you are to my daily Jesus hillside teachings,

My new pigs are pleased and ready to die in Jesus’ name.







The boy and his Mother screamed quietly to God each night,

pleading for the boils on his face to be placed in God’s hand.

Two of them are near one eye, God’s magnificent Creation of a human,

yet God seems deaf and at School the boy is hailed as “God’s reject”.



At School, a new boy entered the assembly hall, everybody stared as

if moulded into clay. He say’s “God loves everybody Here”.

He rescued the boils boy, by squeezing the boils without human pain

and said “Everybody’s body is wonderful in God’s Creation”.

The boils vanished, but for one hour appeared on the Children’s faces

who taunted him, making them respect God given pain.



“God will find some good for boils, God wastes nothing”. said the boy,

They asked his name and he smiled, saying “only J E S U S”.

“Is that it”, said one pupil, “What kind of a name is that”?

“One who listens”, said Jesus, “I want to get

to know people with out me being on trial”.



Teachers raved endlessly about this “God loves him boy Jesus”.

Innocent one did no more cures, it was just coincidence and forgotten.

The cured boy when asleep saw Jesus doing Miraculous Miracles,

yet deep down knew that God had made the World a difficult place.

The boy prayed that whilst Jesus was alive, he would teach lessons

of people loving each other more,

with a love that will last forever on earth.










Awake, glad to be alive on God’s Earth, considering our Boss Jesus

was allowed to die so horribly, God, do you care about us?

I am Unemployed, bored and hungry, no rules about Miracles were left,

Going home would mean my Families Death, no God exemption card.



We should have got autographs of Jesus, so we can use the money

to continue Christ’s Work, that is if any people will accept us.

Prayers have abandoned my tongue temporarily, because Jesus,

the ordinary People’s Hero, could not be saved by God.

God let the World down yesterday, what help were we but scared.

Jesus implanted a lasting Heavenly Spirituality into us when Dying.



This morning, some of us Jesus Disciples, thought a nice death from God

would be eating poisonous berries, the enemies have Killed our Judas?

We have flaws in our words, because God made sinning Humans,

But Jesus was hungry enough, to pass on his Life saving Religion.

Yet where do we start? How do we get the Message spread?



Let us swim for an hour to stay fit, Jesus might appear on water again?

We cannot be simple fishermen, ordinary People expect us to save them.

Let us find ourselves a new Sacred Place to pray all day for God,

to give us signs from Jesus, what powers we have, not delusions.

These are our thoughts after 15 minutes today, an ordinary day?








Sorry Vicar that I accidentally head butted you when Baptizing me,

You told the congregation how bright Gods stars shone.

I go to the toilet over myself quite a lot,

But the best scattering over me has been Jesus Prayers,

By my Parents who love God more than me.



I am only 6 months old, but the smell of Gods flowers,

Makes me think how lucky I am, for Jesus holds my hand.

There are Graves of little children younger than me, including my friend,

so I thank Jesus and the Saints for keeping me alive this long.

Yet already Christian Messengers have seriously taught my Brain that

These children are alive in Heaven lucky land.


Mobile phones are ringing and most Peoples singing is awful,

but God watched over them to this miraculous place. a bombed

out Church, only hit 2 days ago, by satans earth agent. The 600 Year

Old Font welcomes me as the 5000th Baptism of Gods children.


I saw Angels all around it singing my name and telling me,

About the Feeding of the 5000, this number will be special in my Life.

I was told it was not riches nor living that long!

Yet Jesus really wants Gods presence in my life,

When an adult, which God will radiate clues, in my child life.


© GnomeingSpriteicus 2011


To rate a story please login or sign up as a citizen.