MATHEW JAMES OULD ORAM -THE COMPLETE WORK. SHORT STORIES AND POETRY
This story is rated 5 stars (1 ratings).
BABIES TAKE OVER DAY CENTRE-BETTER OFF NOW?
The unaware new dad actually did a handstand and prayed to the sun. This was before going into the baby’s daycentre, to drop off his baby, 3 month old “Petal.” The noise was like a screaming piano, put out of tune by a pack of wolves at volume 11. There were two people in their 30’s, who smiled at Simon the dad, despite baby’s crawling up their legs, wiping their noses on the trousers. Simon left, but tripped up over a large doll and the whole room filled with laughter.
Yes, it was David, dropping off his child “hand mania” 11 months old. A big notice outside was obvious, but David opened the front door wide. Suddenly one baby started to march around the room. The Teacher tried to grab her, but she laughed in an adult kind of way and started to march much faster. She then started singing in Baby language and another baby started singing a different song. The four people in charge pleaded for silence, using all methods. The examples included stretching their noses a few feet and cooking sausages on them.
Gradually more and more babies were marching in all different ways. The helpers tried to do the same, but magic only happened to babies today. Maybe it was simply a Wednesday, when strange things always happen, because there is a rational answer for them. The babies were actually being filmed by an 18-month year old, using paper and trousers. Another one was painting the room with a large pretend owl, in all kinds of colours not seen before on this earth. In fact, their singing words joined together, there were 40 babies now singing in adult words. The lights went twice as low and the babies’ clothes started to change into young children’s ones, despite the oldest baby being 11 months old.
The room started to change shape; it used to be all one room. Now walls started to appear and doors as well. At this point, the babies stopped marching and divided themselves into separate rooms, the teachers just had to go outside to recover their strange heads. The front door was shut, but the damage was surely done. Furniture filled the different rooms, plus a bath, food of all weird kinds and all modern as well. The building now had an upper layer with four bedrooms and a lower layer with kitchen, dining room and lounge.
The babies all had different jobs to do in the different rooms. One was catching earwigs, so they could play a game of chess with them. Another was filling the bath with real ducks to amuse a child. One baby volunteered to be a curtain in one room, which is very nice, is it not when guests are arriving there? One baby marched around the rooms checking everything, including that the blankets were made out of straw. The baby’s clothes were all different colours and their hair was very futuristic looking, have they changed time zones?
Outside, there was chaos. Parents arriving to pick their baby’s up, had nearly crashed into each other. Some had driven past the place, because of the new building in front of them. There were 40 adults, they all knocked and waited. They dared not open the door, because of the large sign. Finally the door opened and there was baby George wearing 16 different colours of clothes, holding a baby’s loaf of sweets, saying “Please all enter, Hello Mum.” Well nobody dared refuse, so in they went.
In each room were their babies, all getting on with tasks, in a dim light. Suddenly the children walked towards the adults and surrounded them singing nursery rhymes. The adults vanished and appeared in another room to eat. In another room, it was filled with string. Each adult then held onto the string and the window was opened. The adults expected to float in the air, but found they were just on solid ground. There were welcoming sights, so they went off and amused themselves. Other worried parents turned up at the day centre, but it was one of the best days of their lives. Surely magic had arrived in this place today?
There were huge crowds outside this strange building, which had appeared, but nobody could open the front door. The police arrived and tried breaking down the front door. Finally, it opened and there were all the babies in a large circle, playing catch the teacher. The room was the same as before, and the police opened another door. There were all the adults holding bananas and were stuck onto shoe cleaning machines. However, when the police spoke they were freed and left the building laughing.
The adults never forgot that day, because they were able to cope much better with the children. The adults were now all their desired weights. The babies were all to young to tell them what had happened, but one day who knows? They were glad somebody from outside opened the door, instead of knocking and waiting. It was tried again, but nothing happened.
On the roof is still a baby checking the roof. The baby is very happy and always comes down when the day centre closes for the day and is taken home. How it gets on the roof nobody knows, but there is no way this baby can fall.
“BACK TO SCHOOL AFTER RETIREMENT-WHAT A GOOD LAUGH”?
A man called Tie lined up, the next to go back to school. It is a programme that a school has developed, those who failed at school, had to return for a final year, if they reached the age of 65. Tie was aged 65 and could carry on working, because Tie was a writer and had been a full time author for the last 25 years. Tie was dragged in, Tie had been left for three months for his body to grow into a tree in a lab. Then people would escort the trees with the body, sometimes on a roof of the car back to this school. You see there was no writing allowed here for tie, because it would be an unfair advantage for him, above the others. Tie would be assessed on oral communication and if successful may be allowed to leave before the academic year ends.
At one stage, a funeral took place and the hall was covered with stinging nettles to mark this event. Yet in fact it was a mock funeral, announcing the death of Tie as a human being. This was because Tie’s communication was not considered that good at school after 3 months. He was happiest when alone writing, which took him 21 years before he was recognized. He did many jobs he disliked up to the age of 40 and was the butt of many people’s jokes. He had had many friends, but when he became well known, friends deserted him. They simply did not know what to say to him, but they were not jealous.
It was a boarding school, but Tie was the only one who did. He suffered from sleep disorders, so was able to write during the night. His leaves grew and his body lessened in size, but felt most alive when his art was flowing to people’s minds and helping them. You see the public never saw Tie’s name etc mentioned, but was under “not known.” Tie had received royalties etc, but his name was a mystery, done Tie said, “So as not to suffer delusions of grandeur, schizoid etc.”
One day at mealtime, Tie suddenly fell on the floor in exhaustion. A teacher rushed up and started flogging Tie with a stick; Tie was the only pupil in the dining room. Tie’s branches started to wilt and the room suddenly filled with so many people all Ties’ age, whose bodies had grown into trees. Many pupils and staff flogged tie. The tree, which Tie’s body had grown into, grew ever better, more branches, more fruit etc. The other pupils had appeared, because they preferred the oral skills at the school. This was because everything in retirement was done via computer, hardly anybody spoke, and even people above 80 used computers a great deal.
The trees walked out by themselves, each now had a stick in their hand. When they were all outside, they began to flog themselves and that is when they started to cover the walls of the building. Each tree had a pupil growing out of it, like Tie. Some stopped when others did and by magic were turned into statues, to impress the public who were called visitors. The trees had their achievements written on themselves by the teachers, about the oral communication skills the pupils had obtained.
The rest of the trees ate the building. It was also bombed by tree pellets, initially by flying trees, i.e. those with pupils on them, who had escaped. Also all the old trees had come back as human beings and had no tree around them. Every tree in the country lined up outside the school, with people hanging on to the trees, to receive education after retirement. However, so much of the school had been eaten, it may have had to close. Sorry, the school has now vanished and all there is are hundreds of trees making shapes. How wonderful the trees are, making schools for people, so many trees returned home around the country. They returned by walking 2 steps and saying “Let me go back to.” If they did not say please after, a pupil would be flogged.
Therefore, that is what is happening now. The trees are flogged 24 hours a day by staff, who never leave the place. The staff is all named after trees and will never die. Computers are used less at work, due to TV coverage of this school event. The school that was eaten was finally put into an Ocean, which floated until its parts were used by people successfully as many schools.
Tie was taken to that school after retirement, because his writing became recognized after he finished school at 16. His efforts should have been taken further before 40, but he never had an agent. He worked in an office and people laughed about him trying to get into writing. The writing by Tie was his own invention; others worked at places, not of their own creation. Tie by thinking can print out words for fans. Goodbye Tie, all the best, you deserve it.
BOY TURNS INTO CREATURES AND OTHER HAPPENINGS
A boy was out in the countryside by himself, sitting on grass in a field, thinking about life’s essential food. Suddenly a rumbling underground was heard, the usual wolf-Vole argument no doubt. But no, the grass shot in the air, even the cows far away, were not best pleased. Whole sections of ground moved at once and out of the ground appeared this figure about 6 foot tall. The boy did not run, for his feet could not move. The figure was made out of many kinds of nuts with face etc of that of a human. Boy wished he had a camera, to impress his eccentric Great Aunt, who always mentioned about marbled beings underground.
There was lots of cow dung nearby and one arm of the figure was shifting through it, but not complaining about the smell, what manners! Suddenly boy’s feet saw freedom, he started to run, but curiosity as always won through. Boy looked around and the cow dung had been made into the shape of a magnet. Boy run at this point, a few seconds later a shadow appeared over his head, he looked up and to his surprise, saw the tip of the magnet. Boy looked back and saw that the magnet was many feet long, still being held in the figures hand. The magnet was no longer made of cow dung, but had been turned into a normal magnet.
Boy sunk to his knees, knowing it was useless to run, the magnet wrapped itself around boy like an adder having drunk 3 whisky’s. Boy was not afraid of being touched by the magnet which surely most people would? The magnet grabbed some of boy’s hair, a noise was heard by the figure in the distance. This was because whatever extra force boy was going to be touched by the magnet, was being released by the figure, straight into the magnet. The magnet then touched boy’s hair, oh, how funny, boy’s hair has 100 different hair cuts, but does not know yet. Boy ran away and looking back saw the magnet and the nut figure playing games against each other.
Boy ran back to the house, everybody there started grabbing his hair, but the different haircuts would not be forced apart. Outside the house, again boy’s hand began to change, people tried to help but could do nothing. Boy’s legs began to change as well, oh no, even his face now. People ran away, as fast as something boiling over very quickly. Well boy is now very many creatures all stuck together as one person. It is fantastic to see and when creatures speak, it is in a girl boy voice. A billboard poster was put up and some people saw the poster change like a film. The poster was of boy being shown slowly how he changed into these non recognizable creatures. This film is being shown repeatedly, nobody can stop it and now nobody wants it stopped.
Boy or creatures, which ever you prefer to say, was grabbed by figures and taken to a large house nearby. Inside it acted as a hospital, when suddenly a six headed owl buzzed around them. Boy/weird creatures were put into a room on their own, a triple bed had been set up, because of the many creatures boy had turned into. The creatures slept for many hours, in the middle of the night, the creatures were put on a stretcher and taken away to another room. On the way, staff passing by were all aged 80+ and wearing uniform of another era. Inside a room, five masked staff started to put different kinds of medical paint on the creatures, which caused no pain. When all the paint was put on and after being photographed at different times, the creatures were put back in the same room. The paint caused them to sleep for many hours.
In the early morning, staff went into the creatures room and to their amazement, the creatures had gone. There was boy, fast asleep, the same body as before. Suddenly he made weird sounds and started thrashing about and out of his mouth appeared ten different animals, all different from the creatures boy had turned into. They included a guinea pig and a porcupine all in baby form, who then all blended into one animal, a baby ant eater. Thus boy has become the first male to give birth and probably will remain the only person ever to give birth to animals. Despite photos being taken of the birth of the animals, boy and the hospital are trying to prove to the World what happened.
Boy is now a man and interestingly his woman partner gave birth to twin human girls. Boy can be seen in photos with his mouth open and the animals coming out, this has been dismissed as a fake, produced by the hospital staff for fame or notoriety. It seems that because the hospital only employ staff who are aged 80+, that the birth was not taken seriously.
Oh yes, every night, when boy now a man looks outside at night, 10 animals gather outside. Instead of repeating the story to his wife about his birth of animals, man waves and wonders how they are all getting along in the World. When he goes outside and puts down 3 sultanas, only the ant eater appears to eat them. Oh well, life is strange.
“CAPTURED HUMAN,STRANGE BEHAVIOUR, CAN YOU BLAME HER”?
There she was in a little space, a hostage for 4 months. As usual, Hilda was going to do some exercises, when somebody knocked on the door. Well she knew it was not the couple who had kidnapped her, because they both wore saucepans on their head, so as not to be recognized. One of them would knock on the floor 3 times, the other one 6 times. The saucepans had holes in them for their eyes and they were brightly decorated of sandy beaches with a notice saying “Wish you were here.”
The door opened and in walked a crab, which had walked for days on end, well it said it did in polite terms. The baby crabs entered the room and all of them started doing press ups and somersaults, for about ten minutes. Poor Hilda tried doing the same, but after 6 months of travelling somewhere new every 2 days, she had little energy left. So the crabs moved her backwards and forwards using their claws, this was welcome acupuncture for Hilda. This went on for two hours, Hilda felt alive again after months of feared lunacy. Her legs spun so fast, the crabs were flung against the wall, which made them climb up and down it for ages, disposing of crab meat on the floor. This was scooped up by Hilda and kept in secret in an unused handkerchief.
A cat entered the room carrying a chain and meowed 3 times. The chain wrapped itself around Hilda, who luckily had lost lots of desired weight. The cat then meowed softer and each time this happened, the chain moved with Hilda on the floor, until they reached a table. Yes, this was the first time Hilda had been invited to sit down at a table since her nightmare imprisonment began. She begged for forgiveness for the usual ten minutes and was then allowed to sit at the table. There on it was a large card with 3 darts in them, all pointing at the triple 20. The card read “The first 180 days of kidnap are the best.” It was signed by first and second pleasure, Mr & Mrs.
A huge chocolate kind of bun filled the whole table with cream in. A voice from nearby, from Mrs Pleasure said “You have only 3 minutes to eat this delight, if you do, your sentence maybe reduced.” Mrs pleasure counted down to five, Hilda opened her mouth and ate like never before. Her eyes popped out on the table and back in again very quickly, just a few seconds later, cat would have pinched them and washed them down with water. When the 3 minutes was up, 2 skeletons walked in the room to take the knocked out Hilda to some new rest area. The cream had overcome the sensitive Hilda, who could not cope with this unexpected luxury.
In the night Hilda woke up, presuming it was 4 O’clock by the amount of spots on her hand. It had taken a few months to work out this device, but these things happen when one is in strange circumstances and has lots of free time. She could now see fully in the dark without her eyesight being affected. She planned when free, on how to develop this skill in an 8 week session. Suddenly Hilda opened her mouth and was as sick as she had ever been in her life. However, when she looked down at the floor, nothing was there. At first she thought cat had pinched it, but it had travelled through a hole in the wall and onto the pavement outside.
However when Hilda was sick, a post person was going past and the sick landed on the back of the Post persons jacket. The person shook their fist in the air, those nuisance pigeons spitting on her back again, just because she had eaten pigeon custard one week ago. Post person arrived at the mill and as usual, she expected her back to be cleaned. The person at the mill had some special liquid, which seemed to dissolve the pigeon spit. However this time the lady at the mill was very excited, because the sick on post persons back was starting to form something. The husband was woken up, always very happy and naturally intrigued by what kind of sick it was this time.
The post person was taped onto one of the windmill masts and slowly it went around. Every so often, some sick would drop off the post persons back and fall to the ground. This reaction caused a map to form on the ground, which intrigued the two vomit enthusiasts, who always found the location. The map showed the location of Hilda. Imagine how post person felt having been sacked from tomorrow for losing letters. Suddenly the vomit was gone of post persons back and Hilda woke up, back in her own home, after months away.
But no, it had all been a dream, controlled by Mr and Mrs Saucepan, other name Mr and Mrs Pleasure. They had been unwell for years and had heard from an old legend, if you kidnapped somebody, your health would improve. However, during the kidnapping of Hilda, remorse had set in. This had caused replica’s of Mr and Mrs Pleasure to form as humans elsewhere and by chance they got to work in the windmill. It was hard work, but in the end, it was made worthwhile by releasing Hilda.
Sorry, it was not a dream, but Mr and Mrs Saucepan, other name Mr and Mrs Pleasure, had been asleep for 6 months. In that time, 2 beings formed from them and it was they who had done the kidnapping. It was the longest time any couple had slept for and look what trouble it caused. By the way, post person was made a hero and kept her job.
EARTHLY ELEMENTS RICES VISION MUCH COURAGE
Sherbert was an 8 year old girl and she wanted to play games, but there was nobody else nearby. The house had little room, there was no garden and Sherbert’s mum called Lair was busy at work, sewing to make a living. Sherbert’s dad called Rice had died 6 years earlier whilst marrying Lair. It was their marriage day at a 19th century factory and they both had finished saying “I Do”, when a sign telling workers about concentration fell from the roof and killed poor Rice. Some people fainted and against a hard floor caused problems, whilst people started arguing over who was going to marry Lair now. Anyway you can imagine the rest of the day yourself. Sherbert was 2 years old that day.
Sherbert went out to play in the forest and started clearing away the leaves. The birds would then bring her eggs, saying they were happy for sherbert and Mother to eat them. This was translated through an object nearby Sherbert, but she was not sure who it exactly was. It was round and only a few inches high and appeared to have no head and no eyes. Sherbert would then pick up some protection from other intruders for this ‘companion’ and said “goodbye.”
Lair and Sherbert then saw 3 birds having problems with a slug. The slug was very big because somebody had dumped some kind of fertilizer nearby the home. The slug had made some kind of web and with its huge tongue was attracting the birds towards it. Luckily Lair started using her sewing needle and spun some of the web into her jumper, which freed the birds.
Lair, Sherbert and some other animals then grabbed hold of slug and pulled and pushed it. Everybody got muddled between pull and push, so slug’s body was twisted at the sides. This meant that everybody could sit down, it was such a nice feeling that the problem between pulling and pushing went away. Silly slug was asleep, as soon as it woke up, everybody let go suddenly and slug was back to its normal size. Ever since slug had been into contact with the fertilizer, slug had acted like a human. Slug had no idea about trying to kill birds and how it made the web, so everybody blamed the fertilizer.
This was Lair’s big day. She was exhibiting various pieces at an open air sewing convention. There were lots of people attending and plenty of goods were being purchased. Suddenly Lair saw many creatures she knew in the forest and people backed away in fright and left the convention. None of the creatures left and neither did sherbert. The other sellers were annoyed with Lair and that she was some kind of freak knowing these animals.
Four people then walked near them and collapsed of suspected heart failure. People screamed and for an unknown reason ran away quickly, Lair and Sherbert were the only people left. Lair walked around the animals, staring more and more at them and gradually the animals began to fade. Lair did not know what was happening, but Sherbert was walking around the animals as well, but again like Lair suddenly did not move. Soon all the animals were gone, but instead there was snow, where the animals had been. There was water on the snow, but it was not melting it. At that moment, the ill people appeared in the water, people from the convention then walked back straight away gathering around them.
The 4 people, 3 ladies and one man were in a right state, but Lair and Sherbert calmed them down, encouraging them to meditate for a few minutes. Lair then realized that the snow and water had vanished. Nobody knew how it happened, but Sherbert had a camera and a clear picture printed straight away. It showed the snow and water with the 4 people in it. Everyone went home and the picture appeared in the papers, with sales being higher the next day.
On the evening of that event, Lair and Sherbert embraced each other for a couple of minutes. Suddenly beside them, Husband and Dad “Rice” appeared for a few minutes then vanished. Rice had been a vet and had worked for a local practice. When Rice appeared beside Wife and daughter, it was the anniversary of Lair’s friends death who was called Camphick. She had died, savaged by a dog, presumed dead by Rice. Rice admitted when alive, he had never been good talking to people. He should have listened to Camphick, that the animal was still alive.
This is why Rice in death had made the snow and water appear, because he wanted to help people. Rice had been so busy after death still helping animals in heaven or whatever you wish to say where he was. Now Rice could rest in peace and so could Lair and Sherbert, because Rice had helped humans after death. Rice in life had wasted all his money and Lair’s, but now once again there was true love between the three of them.
Oh yes, did you guess what Sherbert’s companion was in the forest, when she was talking to the birds? It was Lair’s handbag, why it talked and was found there nobody knows, but it vanished on the day Of her Wedding.
FAMOUS IN THE END
The Art Gallery was busy, filled with people of all kinds, because the artist was famous. One wondered if all the countries in the World were given the Artists name, if even 10% had heard of her. Richard spent a long time in front of one picture at the exhibition and amazingly the picture changed shape. The figures became much bigger and were dressed in costumes not from this country. Richard was going to complain, because a theft had obviously occurred. The Art Gallery Manager thought Richard stupid, because when the Manager looked, it was the same as before.
Richard investigated other pictures in the exhibition and other pictures started to change as well. Sometimes animals appeared, also village and religious scenes as well. Richard felt he was ill and must see a Doctor. A week later, Richard got a job domestic cleaning at theArtGalleryusing a vacuum cleaner. He placed it too near a picture and to his horror, the vacuum got stuck to the picture. Suddenly the vacuum attacked Richard and swallowed him into the storage space of the machine, luckily the picture was undamaged. Another worker at the Art Gallery chucked the vacuum out of the door as rubbish, evidently not hearing Richard’s cries for help. Eventually somebody rode past theArtGalleryon a go cart and thought that the vacuum cleaner could accompany her on her journey to a far away place. The woman heard wriggling inside the vacuum, but was afraid to open it. She instead poured water down the tube and food as well, concluding that she may be tried for murder, if the object inside the vacuum cleaner died.
Her journey took many weeks still using the go cart. Richard got used to his small surroundings still inside the vacuum cleaner and received a far better diet than at home. When Richard was eventually released, he thanked the lady, for taking him away on a holiday. On the first night, whilst in separate rooms in a hotel, Richard opened the drawers to see if there were any eccentric items in there and was amazed to see one of his own paintings, drawn a few years ago. In the next few days, he discovered around the country that many of his paintings were inside various cupboards etc in hotels, shops and even people’s homes. Suddenly Richard was a cult item, all his paintings were brought together and a triumphant exhibition was held a few days later in that country, the first in Richard’s Art career.
Richard began to realize that some people kept coming back to his exhibition, Richard was afraid of the exhibition becoming elitist, instead of the usual vast and varied masses attending, so he shut down the show. He then heard that a few months ago a man had distributed the paintings to hotels etc in this country only and Richard had not been told. However, Richard was not angry, he adored this moment of cult status. Richard came back to the exhibition and donated all the paintings, to places which would benefit many people. Richard was glad because it would mean more cult status for himself, rather than being a machine turning out many pictures quickly. The Lady and Richard drove the go cart back home singing all the time, so they did not have to pedal the go cart at all.
Back at the Art Gallery were Richard worked, Richard opened the doors in the morning, only to find himself swamped in paper. Indeed, the whole of the Gallery was full, top to bottom with paper. When Richard waded through he was startled to see five people in there reading the bits of paper. Richard said ‘You are breaking the law, the gallery does not open until9.02 am, it is clearly8.59 amand how did you get in? One of the people said ‘We jumped out of one of the pictures on show here when the post person arrived with all these letters for this place.’ ‘The bag was so big, six of us had to drag it in, we had to tip them all out, because the bag was wanted back, it took 20 minutes to tip them out.’
Luckily Richard saw the Manager arriving and members of public, so everybody dived in to sort the mail. It took a long time, but every letter was about the same person. It was about an artist, which the five people who jumped out of the picture had heard about. Now the five people knew what their real purpose was, to go back and tell the 80 year old woman artist, who was in the picture, some important news. This artist was trying to get known in the Art World globally for decades and had sent examples of her work to many places in the World without success. What was so annoying was that all these letters were written to her, but had all gone missing, they had been incorrectly addressed or filed in the wrong place. They had now all been redirected to this Art Gallery, because it is the most famous one in the World.
There was much jubilation in this artist’s village which was in another country far away. She chose to travel back by Porcupine, because this one would only need to eat stones on the journey. Meanwhile at the most famous Art Gallery in the World, 40 of the above female artist’s paintings were collected from around the Country, which were found in a wide variety of places. Luckily these were all the ones which she had sent away over the years. It was an embarrassing situation that such a breakdown in communication had occurred between the Art Galleries and the Artist, but the latter forgave them all.
On each day of her exhibition, people stood on each others shoulders so high, they reached up and through the clouds, because so many people queued up. The exhibition was a great success and the lady Artist became globally well known. Richard meanwhile maintained his cult status in the Art World, he is still best known in the Lady Artist’s Country. By the way, all her mail sent to and collected from the most famousArtGalleryin the World, was put on public display in anArtGalleryspecially dedicated to her.
FIRST DAY AS PRESIDENT
I woke up on my first day of being President and there was no security outside my door. This pleased me, because I believe in democracy, so surely I have no enemies who want to kill me? Making my own breakfast was liberation for me, as it made me thinking of fasting for a day. Companies can sponsor me and the money goes towards people who are hungry. My office for work is small, if it was big, I might have delusions of how important I am and keep on extending it. It’s better that visitors in private remark on the size of the office, so they will hopefully think better of me.
I inspected the road outside my front door, which is in a bad way, so I asked for the roads to be mended in the poorest areas of town instead of mine. People from there actually went to my house and thanked me personally without encouragement by any of my staff. One felt humbled letting them stay how long they wanted to. If the road outside my house looked the smartest, people in poorer areas would accuse me of showing off and make their poverty seem worse.
Whilst I walked around the town, people recognized who I was and walked up to me handing envelopes containing tasks they wanted done. This made them satisfied that they could hand their worries to me personally, rather through someone else. They are proud that they can get so close to me without being pulled away from security staff.
I telephoned all the opposition leaders and wished them well in their job. They may well dig into my past, which is not a problem. However if its untrue what they say about me, the party concerned will have to make a forfeit and give a charitable donation which benefits the public. It’s up to them what they give, they will not be criticised about that.
My photograph was taken with all my hair being grey. This shows how hard I have worked in life. Thank goodness my looks are ugly, it would be a waste of everyone’s time, even if one vote passed my way, for being good looking.
I woke up the next day, thinking about the strange dream of mine, about my first day as President. But was it a strange dream? I am 26 years old, University educated and already rising in the Political World. I have had
Affairs and been clean living in that department, well as much as most 26 year olds. Who cares if an ex partner writes our love story when I am
President, because by then I will be married and have 2.4 children. It’s a pity some of us got busted for drugs, but when I am President, I will admit it, saying what I took. I will then win votes among the young for honesty and being with it.
Now years have gone by and I really am the president. It’s my first day in the job and I am woken up at 4.30am about some International happening. There are Security Staff everywhere; can I go to the toilet on my own now? My eyes go weird from so many press-taking photos and they have not complemented me much about my victory. There are too many jobs to do on my own, without meeting the real public. My partner left me two weeks ago, thanks! I will send them chocolates for the timing. It’s lucky I don’t have children; they might admit my mistakes to their friends.
Look I am going to change the way the World thinks about life. This is true democracy, I have been chosen as leader to rule 3529.472 countries. Think how much the World has saved by only having one ruler instead of many. My office is a mile long, the public would be pleased they have spent wisely on me looking important. Now here is the real fun, choosing a partner, ok, probably for life. I will need a private jet to find the partner, that’s no problem; I have had one flying lesson. As I leave the front door, billions of people start following me, shouting out demands in many different languages. They are on my trail because I promised to show them true aims as President. I will speak to them now about one aim and then they will go home.
Somebody help me, I am still President, but four years have gone by and I have had no sleep in that time. There are still the same number of people following me and millions of complaints have been issued and none been carried out. If only I had not attended that political rally aged 12, then I would have lived a normal life.
HUMPTY DUMPTY IS A LARGE EGG, WHO IS WANTING TO GET BACKON THE WALL
I was the first person to arrive on the scene. I knew this because nobody would have ignored such an individual in so much pain and walk away. I am of course talking about Humpty Dumpty, who has fallen off a wall. By the way Humpty Dumpty is a large egg, who is very friendly. Luckily Humpty’s face is still together and is able to talk. However all the other pieces of this individual have gone and nobody knows were. Humpty Dumpty praised the Kings horses and all the king’s men for helping, but they had to rush off for an emergency meeting.
Far away from the wall, many voices left on the ground are walking towards us. They are offering to help put Humpty Dumpty’s face back on the wall. We all share the weight of the face between us, but however hard we try, Humpty keeps falling off the wall, but is luckily caught below. We are resting away from the wall, when laughter can be heard getting near us and becoming louder. We hide our faces in the ground, which we were told to do in times of danger, by the voices.
The laughing gets even louder near Humpty Dumpty’s wall. All our faces
look up at the wall at the same time, by the sheer force of laughter. Instead of being afraid, we all laugh as well. The wall sways one way and another as if dancing. The top bit of the wall falls, which alerts all the King’s horses and all the king’s men in only a few minutes. Now they have arrived, they all start laughing. They are unable to get off the ground, from laughing so much. The wall collapses, luckily missing all of us and we are all amazed why it did not all collapse in one go. Suddenly the laughter stops, there is enough left standing on the wall, to be called a wall!
Then a miracle happens, walking from the wall is a lady dressed in old fashioned clothing. She does not know her name, now one of the King’s men is bowing. None of us want to look stupid, so we all bow over and over including the ladies. We are told to keep bowing until the King is here. The King has arrived, the look on his face is amazing. A smile is there on his face and at that moment we stop bowing. The king shouted “That’s my wife, whom we all gave up for dead years ago.” We all cheered very loudly.
The king’s wife stopped talking because a traveller is arriving. We all ask the traveller why she has walked here. The person announces that when Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, many broken pieces of the body had been taken away. These were taken by passers by and despite Humpty being in so many pieces, the face was still together as mentioned before. People were amazed by Humpty’s sense of humour and despite being in so many pieces, they felt they had to take a piece of Humpty away for good luck which Humpty encouraged. The pieces of the body were taken away to villages and towns.
When the people arrived home, when ever they looked at, touched, spoke or thought about Humpty Dumpty’s body, they started laughing. People were blessed with a stronger sense of humour from then on, so the pieces of the body were passed around many homes through out the land. The King suddenly laughed after years of not doing so, because people were so much happier, laughter was passed on to him in a magical way.
The King is announcing that Humpty Dumpty is now called “Comedian Humpty Dumpty” and will always be allowed to stay on the remainder of the wall still standing. Humpty Dumpty will attract many visitors because of the ability to make people laugh and for the sense of humour to remain with them. Yet most important is that Humpty Dumpty will always be there, in what ever weather making people happy. If you ever want to find the Town, contact the King, who always talks to anybody.
Well my help is over now, but it was a great honour to meet and help Humpty Dumpty, a large egg, who likes helping people. However, it must remain a secret how everybody got Humpty Dumpty back on the wall!
RATS SAVE THE WORLD
Shirley wore a pear tied to the top of her hair, which amazed people when they saw it. People she reckoned, no longer wanted to talk to her properly, but to gasp at the pear, more valuable than gold. Shirley worked in a high-rise building, in the fashion industry. This career helped publicize the plight of the pear, because she spent much time walking around the streets, meeting the public in striking clothes.
One day Shirley was staring over the 80th floor rest area balcony at work. She was trying to work out how long people down below would survive now fruit was becoming a distant past from their diet. The pear tied around her head suddenly fell down below to the ground. Maybe by fate, somebody had caught it, thus preserving a rare piece of the human diet. Yet despite all the people down below, it hit a rat. People seeing the rat screamed and ran in all directions shouting ‘help, it’s a rat.’ This caused chaos for a while with people being knocked over.
Quickly, the rat grew, not sideways but tall. People had read about this happening in other places, but refused to believe it. Some humans expected something special to occur, which might benefit them. The rat grew 40 feet high; people in the building dared not challenge its authority. The rat spoke in a female-male voice very loudly saying-‘I have not arrived to tread upon you, but to apologize for squashing the last pear in existence.’
Shirley had a panic attack because she had failed to preserve the last fruit in existence on earth. It had been posted to her house in a secret mould, which would last forever. Her role was to show it to as many people as possible, so humankind would learn its mistake. Many places were empty of people; they could not survive because there was no fruit left. Some mysterious force had wiped out fruit growing, fruit inside buildings weltered and fruit seeds refused to grow. Humans blamed animals and animals blamed humans. Humans had been warned about a catastrophe concerning fruit, but they considered themselves too advanced for something like that to happen.
The rat leapt to the 80th floor of the building in a swirling manner. People applauded, the first praise that a rat had ever received from humans. The rat kissed Shirley saying ‘trust me’, making sure everybody heard. Shirley then walked down the side of the building without falling over. This persuaded people that the rat might be of use to humankind in some way, but surely not after being persecuted for so long.
Suddenly, thousands of rats appeared carrying seedlings on their backs, which were identified as that of fruit. Rats had stored the seeds for many years in their hideouts. The seeds were so perfect, they were planted far and wide and produced millions more fruit than expected in only a few weeks. It meant that humankind would survive, because for the first time, there was positive action between people and rats. The humans instead of killing rats learnt their secrets about fruit.
This tale took place in no identifiable country and the date varies so much, because of its importance. Who would have guessed that the rat, humankind’s most hated creature would have saved humans from extinction?
MOVE OUR RELATIVES PAUPERS GRAVE
Two thousand, three thousand, Uncle Jake was not being a snob, but thought his life earnings insulted his parents struggle in bringing their children up in abject poverty. On the other hand, Jake’s wise spending would surely have sealed their approval on this matter?
The doorbell rang and it is Robin, Uncle Jake’s favourite great nephew, 64 years his junior. Uncle Jake chose today to announce that he once had a sister called April, who died after being struck by a horse and carriage. Robin, instead of enquiring why this information was being announced now, decided it could be an omen of Uncle Jake’s death, who after all is 94.
Uncle Jake, proud of telling Robin once again of his starvation type childhood said April was buried in a pauper’s grave. Thus Robin, knowing of Jake’s love of religion and knowing that Jesus among other things had granted Jake a long life, suggested they both visit the paupers grave. Robin concluded Jake craved this happening because of a remark he made earlier to him in the day in the library. ‘I choose the length of books carefully, because I am on borrowed time.’ Robin felt shocked; deep down all his family knew Jake still had a good chance of receiving a letter from the Queen on his 100’Th birthday.
The journey to the grave consisted of a journalism type agenda, where Jake was trying to recall events from 80+ years ago, about April’s life. It was hard for Robin to grasp how much Jake changed information about April’s life, due to his wealthy status now. Jake deep down felt proud visiting his sister, but equally felt his words at the Paupers grave would ridicule his sister’s spirit. This was Jake being paranoid about money again, plus he always felt love in his heart for human beings.
The graveyard consisted of hundreds of graves and Jake was naturally vague about the location. He had never visited the grave, which had removed the trauma of his only sister’s early demise. Robin went to look at a tree just out of sacred ground and by the tree was a small grave. Suddenly Robin’s day fell dramatically upon discovering April’s name among some dogs listed on one of the graves.
Jake, after being summoned, knelt on the floor and prayed to the heavens saying-‘please can April be blessed by the Lord to rest peacefully in God’s land, not in some overgrown field.’ Jake then explained to Robin that he had always wanted a sister, but there were only two other brothers. Jake loved animals and was given a rabbit who he called April, who Jake referred to as the sister he never had. Jake was devastated when the animal was killed and it felt like the loss of a sister.
A gravedigger upon hearing this talk went up to Jake and seemingly started a sob story, due to Jake wearing posh clothes. However the gravedigger acted as God and insisted April along with the other dogs could obtain restful peace in church land. They prayed for a while and left with satisfaction in their minds.
One week later Robin awoke overjoyed, that this morning April would have an honest Christian burial. Also today was the gravedigger’s daughter’s life saving operation costing two thousand pounds, which Jake paid for in return for April having at last quality rest in God’s land. At 12 o’clock midday, Robin rang Jake; Robin had just received news that the operation and the reburial had gone very well, by coincidence both ending at 11.30am. Somebody answered the phone quickly; it was Jake, a local vicar who had visited Jake at 11.00am to say prayers for April. Uncle Jake had slumped dead on the floor from a heart attack exactly at 11.30am. Robin had received from seemingly nowhere, the words in his brain at 11.25am the same day that Uncle Jake would die soon.
Rest assured this tale doth end well, because a few weeks before, Uncle Jake had told a nephew Henry, that he had had a happy long life.
“NOBODY STRONG CAN KNOCK DOWN THE FAMILIES TIN HOUSE”
The family stood by an empty piece of land and then started singing, there were three children and the parents. It was about their determination, to build a tin house, thus their singing would please the building God. There were mansions nearby, which the family said are made out of pumpkins. When the family started building, a star travelled down to earth and gave a hand with a few tins. The neighbours thought it was a hoax, but they were angry that the star never helped them. Somebody appeared with a large lorry to knock down the house, yet the star went so bright, that the lorry driver donated some baked bean tins to them.
Well, you can guess who was caught causing trouble with the baked bean tins. Yes, it was that goblin trying to pinch the last baked bean. There was a rumour in the neighbourhood that this goblin could feed its family by making one baked bean very big. The family hid behind a large rock near the house and waited. There is the goblin, with a large wand. Goblin has knocked down nine baked bean tins, what a vandal. There is the baked bean on goblins head, it has turned yellow and is still the same size. Suddenly hundreds of baked beans appeared and goblin was nearly drowned by them. All the neighbours rushed out to watch, the family behind the rock used the baked beans as part of the wall. The baked beans were as hard as rocks; goblin had done the wrong spell.
Yet, although the house is humble, people write on the tins and throw rubbish by the house. The family have two rooms, sleeping and eating ones. The three children sleep near a cobra’s den, but because the family are friendly towards nature, the snakes make clothing out of their old skin for the children who are three, five, and seven. The neighbours say their houses have devalued because of the family’s tin house, yet the full moon only gives protection over their house against the wolves. Even when the wolves appeared, the family learnt to dance with them. In return, the wolves brought lots of floor covering, simple but adding some comfort in their lives.
It is an 8 mile round trip to get water, the neighbours offered to build them a well. This they did, but it was a wishing one and nobody could remember the instructions. The other animals collected wood and the family made buckets out of them. It was a couple of sheep, which felt strong enough to take the two huge buckets of water. The sheep felt not like a beast of burden, but worthy of helping the poor family. Thus, the well gave them water as a reward.
Well one night there was a huge cry and many streetlights were relit for the first time in 40 years. The family and the house, were twenty feet in the air, supported by some black stuff, it was oil. The jet of oil suddenly got bigger and it gushed over 25 very big houses. You can imagine the anger on people’s faces, but the family of tins felt sorry and the goblin volunteered to lick clean the houses. The oil gave the family extra warmth for winter, being directly under the house. The so-called smart houses people called in investors to start getting the oil.
However, the family walked out of their house with crowns on. They were from an ancient tribe, wiped out when the oil investors came. These crowns were real and this time the oil company were humbled. The equipment they had, they melted down, which was used as a roof for the tin house family. What luxury away from suns smile and moon being playful, but now they could sleep for more than 4 hours. The oil had turned to water by a magic person, but in fact, the oil was out of date, because the land was so perfect to hide the oil away.
The oil made itself go bad realizing that the families tin cans were of more importance. These had been made by prisoners who were real life animals working for a few scraps of food each day. Yet now the bones of the animals had melted into the ground, were the tin house was made. That is why it is always safe there and the family will always invite you in. However, bring a tin can, it may not sound much, but it is helping the family’s livelihood. The mansions nearby fell into disuse, so the animals moved in, prisoners no more.
OH DEAR, PEOPLE HAVE FALLEN OUT OF A PLANE,LETS NOT PANIC
She was always in a hurry, but this time it caught her out. She was walking up and down a plane for exercise, when she fell against a button. There was a loud noise and seacalm, which is her name and ten other people from the plane were blown out of it. Luckily for the other people, the plane door was shut immediately, by a bird who was positive and very strong. In tomorrows newspaper, that bird will appear in golden lights and you will be able to see tributes from people thrown into the clouds, regarding this kind gesture from the bird.
So what is happening to the people outside the plane? Surprisingly people kept very calm. They knew they were going to reach Earth soon, so why not have some fun. Whilst falling, they pretended they were in a lake swimming and amazingly they flew across, at a slower pace than before. They all did this at the same time, a line of sky animals all cheered and a voice from nowhere announced they were the first people to fly without wings. Some of the people praised God, that God was sending them a message, but it was the sun speaking. It only spoke when a big event in the sky was happening, so the people flying were very happy.
Well, here are the people now flying once again and could see their sun tan growing ever bigger. It reminded them of a desert island and wondered why they had not fallen unconscious yet. They all did exercises in the air, moving ones legs upwards, twirling around like a ballerina, that is a compliment, raise your hands and stare straight ahead. What was strange, was that they saw their skin simply roll off, whilst exercising. One passenger was still carrying fizzy water and because they were in the air, the volume of water got bigger. This was the true fountain of life, just before death hits them. They felt like infant adults again, endless summers etc. The fountain and the glass stuck to the ladies hand and would not budge, so the fountain was kept on.
Suddenly they saw buildings and knew their journey of life was at a close. They sang the National Anthem of the sky, which the eagles had taught them. They fell through clouds and strange kind of floating balls hung on to each human, refusing to budge. Then, what do you know, they fell onto a low flying plane, the floating balls and humans were stuck onto the plane. The humans and balls kept banging on the roof and peering in at the windows, yet the plane did not land. Instead it was going straight towards a building and people inside the plane were screaming.
The people on the roof of the plane then got into a line and the balls started moving the humans as window wipers. The water was used from the fountain and the plane slowed down, the more it was cleaned. People on the ground recognized the balls as danger and were able to flee. The plane landed below in an empty street and people threw decorations out of the window until the plane was covered. The commandos could then storm the plane, 3 hijackers were captured and everybody released unharmed.
When the hijackers were captured, they were found to be drunk despite drinking no alcohol. However, the fumes of the water from the passengers glass at such a height, had gone through the front window of the plane and went continually into the hijackers mouths. They had not been able to shut their mouths, because they were so amazed at what was going on. Oh yes, the people who fell out of the plane, made money for good causes by selling the balls from the sky to people in high rise buildings. It meant they could jump out of a building and they would stick to the ball and it would act like a parachute, meaning many lives could be saved.
You may wonder why the lady, who pressed a button to open the plane, was on the plane. She was protesting against her husband and children eating so many sweets at home, so she sold them all and decided with the money, to have a days holiday, just on the plane. She got so carried away by flying for the first time, she pressed the airplane exit button, thinking an attendant would be able to give her another sweet.
THIS BAND ARE FINISHED FOR ETERNITY BUT THERE IS SURELY NO REST FOR THEM
The Band had surely played their last ever number on stage. They had sold over 10 million records and seemed glad to be put to rest. There was loud cheering and the Band decided to play one more time. Another song of decay, filth and death which the fans loved and craved for. The band started playing an obscure song of an early album, at that moment it started to rain. Now normally you would expect to get wet, except this time crosses fell down from the sky. There were 10,000 people there and everybody had a cross. The band kept on playing, an extended version, which pleased the fans. The crowd all lifted up the crosses at the same time and the drum kit of the band melted. Well the group were outraged, the 4 members of the group tried to touch a cross, but young grandmas employed as security kept them back.
The Crowd then all lined up on either side, so the group would make a triumphant exit, to be mobbed by their loyal fans. The young grandmas were hypnotised for being grumpy, for their favourite song was not played. As soon as he band started walking in between the people, the crosses attached themselves to the backs of the crowd and started dancing. The people all started singing their favourite songs of the band, when the band members became very old, their hair all fell out and they dropped down on the ground. The Police arrived with candles and as instructed set light to the crosses. The people put the candles in the ground and left silently with the police.
The Crosses were burning around the four Band members, then they all went out, ten at a time, then the Band members sat up. They got into their vehicle and drove off, down a long straight road. In the middle of he road was a child with their Mother picking up a book and reading it. The band members who were all skeletons at his point were driving too fast and ploughed into the Mother and child killing them instantly. Five minutes later, they encountered the same scene, the same child and mother, the same result, another traffic accident. So it kept on, the same event torturing the dead band members, who just wanted some peace, but would not get it.
Suddenly all the band members were alive again and were driving down another road. A storm was brewing and blew some clothes off a politician. The band members were singing their latest song about a devil in the van, when they saw some people in the road. It was too late to stop, suddenly the politicians clothes blew across the windscreen. Crunch, several bodies were flattened and all the band members jumped out. There right in front of the vehicle was the same mother and child unharmed. The little boy had offered advice to somebody out aloud and obviously somebody liked it.
There were 2 supposed bodies underneath the bands van and they found strange beings with horns growing all over their bodies. The band pinched them quickly and then drove off, but then kept talking about miner’s strikes. They felt so overcome, that they threw the devils bodies into a politicians back garden. The bodies turned into the band members, except they felt different.
This is the great music debate of all time, just what happened at that last gig? How come the child and mother survived when they had been certified dead for years?
THE CHARACTERS ARE HERE, EVERYBODY RELAX,
MEDITATION, PLEASE WORLDWIDE
7.03 am, the children saw it with their own eyes. Well known non human characters including very well relaxed ones, were releasing themselves from the wall, on which they were stuck onto. They had bits to seat themselves on and they told adults and children, they would be back at the end of the day. This happened throughout the country and children were so pleased these characters had come to life. The children hoped they would speak the same language, but they all spoke different ones.
In the shops, all the furry animals left as well. Staff tried to grab them, but always grabbed other objects, which were not escaping. The furry animals jumped up and down when outside the shop, amusing passers by, which threw money into boxes. The characters came along and took away the money to be spent on the celebrations. A tuna fish swimming in the air told stories to children, whilst blowing bubbles.
Proper human beings were rushing around too much. They were persuaded by many of the characters to relax more in the streets etc. These characters provided rugs of all different colours and as soon as people sat down, they meditated and shouted for peace. Everybody began to speak slower, so shop staff and customers developed more of a bond, instead of rushing around. This increased sales, but kept the mood very tranquil, with nobody trying to get the final word in.
The characters provided people with new coloured clothes, all multi coloured. Many different characters told the story of Adam and Eve. Individual humans had no problems of shedding their clothes and marching around talking. This was because every thing was steady in ones brain, so the nakedness could not be seen as wrong. The colours caused rainbows not to appear, because they would not get the attention they deserved. However, rainbows gathered with the masses of people, who were all behaving themselves. They were waiting for the special moment, it was shared joy, and no words were needed.
These scenes happened all around the World that day, because of the vibes given off, by all the characters. Human houses were given many different colours, everybody was more cheerful and not stressed out. It encouraged peaceful debate without mass outbursts of anger, pain etc. It also made work easier, because people were so thrilled, to feel they weighed nothing. It meant real issues were passed through, which benefited everybody in the community.
Well now, the whole World is the same time of day. This was organized by the characters, which flew on branches etc, around the globe. The energies released by World relaxation at the same time, helped everybody that day. The power in their bones was spread to each area of their lives, so people would have a special time for guaranteed relaxation. Everybody benefits worldwide, with different customs etc being taken into account.
Well now, people’s eyes were given special powers, to see the special moment in their country. This power would last for 30 minutes, once again made possible, because everybody was having fun. There was a new country, which was very small, which had grown quickly, thanks to World Peace today. Different forms of assistance were sent by the bubbles, which kept floating, by everybody being relaxed. Everybody sat on the green grass, which had grown especially for humans today. The humans now sat in a way, which was far calmer than the characters.
The special individual just sat there and the vibes lifted and went World Wide in a couple of hours. This was so everybody could see the energies, which were of every colour. Nobody spoke, because the magic would be broken. Well nothing was quite the same again, yes, the characters did return to a hero’s welcome. The World was a different place and still is, with people acting calmer. Meditation is practiced by all, people remembered a character, stuck onto some wall near them. The Characters are World wide, who gives out soft bottles of calm air. It will never run out, so calm everybody, stay calm, and relax.
THE OLD LANGUAGE RETURNED
A perfect night for fishing by the sea and she fell asleep. When she awoke, it felt like she had caught the largest fish in the World. There had been a sudden storm, so the rod was blown upwards and it had kept going up and up and up! She realized that the rod had cheekily tied itself around a planet in the sky. Luckily a local person walked by and was told to get as much help as possible. Many people arrived with their cameras snapping the lady with her precious catch. Then everybody formed a chain and began to pull and slowly the planet moved towards them. Then suddenly the planet fell onto the beach, luckily at low tide.
Well, the Town population swarmed onto it like it was a shipwreck. The planet was very round when suddenly figures appeared from huge holes. They wore outfits of many colours and were the same size as human beings. When they talked for the first time, it snowed and rained for nine minutes. The figures presented the Town people with bits of planet, one person tried cooking it and it tasted very nice. This individual organized a gang of 200 people to cut off with knifes etc as much planet as possible, so it could be sold to tourists as a tasty bit of food from another World. The space people had been taken to a hotel by a planet enthusiast, but it was too warm in the hotel, so they slept perfectly well outside in the garden. When this was occurring, the 200 headstrong gang attacked the planet overpowering local security. They had arrived in lorries, so huge amounts were taken which meant less research could be done on the planet.
The planet was exhibited in a large Town Hall and people gave all kinds of objects/object or nothing as an entrance fee. The space people did a dance and singing concert. What was weird was when the audience joined in to sing, some of them spoke in the language of the space people, whilst others tried to sing and nothing came out at all. The concert went on for an hour, but was cancelled because one local found that she was speaking more space language than the normal dialect. She was taken away to a special centre for studying these space people.
Gradually more of the local people started to speak the language of the space people, there were only ten people from the planet. This caused them anxiety because they felt somebody was speaking for them. The space people learnt to speak the language of the Town people and explained that bits of the planet had fallen away into space with space people on it. Luckily those people had managed to land the bits of the planet they were on, onto other planets and thus managed to survive. However, they were dumping the discarded bits of planet into space with no regard to the other planets. The bit of the planet they were on could not be steered properly and they feared they would crash land. For some reason they began to speak in other languages they had not heard of before and it slowed down the speed of the planet. It was only when they reached earth were they able to speak their own language again.
This information was all recorded and stored in the makeshift centre with the rest of the planet, everybody had taken a piece of it as a souvenir. However people began to get in trouble because they kept speaking the language of the space people at work. An example was somebody working at a bank, when asking key questions to the customer, mixed space words with normal ones. The doctors etc, devised many plans on how to prevent it, but it was like speaking in tongues which began to frighten people. It was sad, but people began to realize that the space people must be to blame. Everybody spoke on tapes with evidence of this happening and one cassette was buried as a time capsule.
The space people seemingly had no way to get home, until somebody devised a clever system. A circle was devised which the space people could rest on for their journey and it was then placed around earth people. The earth people started chanting in space language, which formed creatures made out of the letters of the space alphabet, who lifted the circle into the air. The words of the earth people kept on repeating themselves loudly to the space people, even when they were far away. The repeating of the words helped the creatures to hold on to the circle, which assisted in the space people able to navigate themselves back home safely.
The people on earth kept speaking the space language and they missed their friends from another planet. However one day there was a party on the beach for the whole Town, when suddenly a discarded piece of planet, which the careless people had thrown away went towards them and crashed into them and everything was silent. However everybody realized that it was a pretend sighting and started speaking in another language. This was not another space one, but one which a person of 102 recognized. It was the old language of the area, which had eventually died out. It encouraged communities nearby to learn the old language as well, an example was in schools.
Many people went to hear these people speak, who felt proud of the old tongue. One aspect which puzzled people was how come a word from the old language had appeared on a piece of discarded planet?
THE WORLD CUP FINAL GOAL
It is World Cup final day. This time it is really got a World feel to it, because a few people from every Country in the World have been flown in to attend the match. These people all have very little money and none could afford to travel to see the World Cup. The youngest person is 10, the oldest 95 and there is an equal amount of females and males. The stadium is full and I am the Referee, it is too close to call to say who will win.
It is the last couple of minutes of the match and there is no score. Suddenly 3 players on the same team break loose and overwhelm the defence. The goalkeeper comes out a long way to grab the ball, which is lobbed over his head towards the goal. I am not sure why, but I ran near the ball and when it was on the line about to go in the goal, I jumped and stopped the ball on the line.
Well, I have never heard silence before at a football match, all the players seemed stunned and the whistle had been blown for the end of the game. I picked up the ball and did a victory march around the stadium with the football, blowing kisses to the crowd. The crowd was completely silent and the World cup had to be shared for the first time. Soon a chant began and it was soon clear that the audience wanted the match to go on for another thirty minutes. The lines people and I decided to allow this. It soon became clear that some of the audience wanted to join in as well.
We planned it would be possible for 100 players to represent each side, which we announced over a loud speaker. Well the 22 footballers from the two teams wanted to select the two teams themselves, but was decided it would take too long. Suddenly people walked towards the two teams, splitting themselves between the two sides. What was extraordinary was there were exactly 89 new people on each side. It was sheer chance that that number of people had separated them selves to play, without any prior consultation with anybody.
There was one more player needed and nobody would volunteer. In the end it was me who volunteered, why not, I nearly became a professional footballer. A substitute referee was naturally at the ground and the match started and there was no score after 28 minutes. There were two minutes left and suddenly I felt like a child again. I had been passed the ball just past the half way line and plenty of people were calling for the ball. When people came to tackle me, I would walk straight through them. I felt like a ghost, but at least people were cheering me from the terraces. I carried on with the ball, sometimes jumping right over people with the ball. There were at least 40 people in front of the goal, so I blasted the ball at the net. It went wide, but hit a defence player on the head, which bounced to the next player.
However much the players tried to bring the ball down to the ground, it still kept bouncing off one defence players head to the next defence players head. Well by the law of average, one would have expected it to last a couple of minutes, by which time the match would finish. However the ball flew very fast between the 40 heads, so there were a few seconds left and the ball was kicked out. Luckily I got the ball and kicked it towards the goal in the air, however for some reason my legs stuck to the ball, so I travelled towards the goal. There was silence as the ball travelled towards the net, the defence ran towards or jumped up to clear the ball. Nobody seemed surprised that I was stuck to the ball. Suddenly I bit the ball by accident and still in the air, the ball burst. However by the ball bursting, the ball and myself were lowered, so at the last moment the ball and I went into the goal. The goal is allowed.
The whistle blew at that moment and again the pitch was filled by people, from all over the World to celebrate. The trophy was given to the one team on the pitch, so everybody could feel they were taking part in the presentation. I was on the team whose goal I had stopped in the last few seconds of the normal game. The final goal scorer was allowed to collect the trophy, which I took the top off and amazingly a dove flew out and around the pitch. It signified the mood felt-one of peace, because people from every country in the World were present, for the first time at a World Cup Match. The spectators who played in the match were photographed with the two football teams. Also everybody who played in the match and all the spectators signed many footballs, which were sent to places, were nobody could afford a football around the World.
At the end of the presentations, people whose jobs were not in football, from all over the World spoke about football together, for the first time ever in history. This was the truest World cup and it was an extraordinary day, ending it by myself being told, I would still be a Referee. Well, you know were I live, so if you wish to complain about the game, just send them to me.
THIS CAT BELONGS TO EVERYONE
People are helping making soft toy cats in a factory to be sent to every type of person. This was a new idea of Social Services to help people. The cat has an orange body which shows it is loving and needs affection back. The mouth is pink for reflection, which will make people think harder about other people’s lives and their own and what is missing from them. The green eyes signify praise which will encourage people to be more generous in thanking people.
Everyone needs an extra companion and there is a guarantee that you will find favour with this soft toy cat. It can never be thrown away, because it will just return, even though it is not alive. When the cats arrived at people’s different places of living, nobody questioned what they were for and there were no instructions with them. The effects for people were immediate and helped people’s lives in many ways. An example was that people helped each other in times of crisis on a scale not seen before for a large while.
One day everybody noticed that the soft toy cat’s eyes had grown a lot bigger, which threatened people’s good behaviour, which occurred because of being given the cats. Everything would be negative and chaos would reign. There may be an increase in crimes of every nature, but nobody can stop it. There would be no outside help, because everybody had the same problem. However people did not blame the cats and they were seen as a greater companion than before. This was only a soft toy cat, so it must have been people’s imagination that the cat’s eyes had got bigger. The Police were over stretched with a new crime being done, that of people taking off their clothes and running around the streets. Luckily this was the only increase in crime, but a growing menace every day.
At the factory where the cats were being made, there was alarm. Business had slumped because nobody wanted another cat, for example, families had learnt to share the one cat. Also the factory heard from the police that crime had spread in all areas, the day the cats eyes got bigger. However the violence could not be linked to the cat because it had become the most popular item with some families.
There was a person starting their first day at the cat factory on work experience. Well this person did not wish to sound very clever, but suggested there was too much of one colour on the cat. It was suggested that there should be an equal amount of colours on it. Also one colour had not been given a role to play in peoples feelings, like the other colours. The work experience individual said toleration could be the persons feeling role for this colour. Well there was worry that jobs might be lost in Social Services, if their latest experiment to help people failed. Thus everybody had to be sent another cat with the colours being equal. An appeal had to be made that all the old cats must be returned, their colours would still be used in other plans of the social services.
The new cats were sent out to everybody, no person had been missed out before. However it was noticed that people had changed the colour of the old cat to the same proportions of colour on the new cart. It was asked how they had done that, but nobody had a rational explanation! People decided to accept the new cat, because it looked the same as the other one. These cats were free of charge provided by the social services, but people felt guilty that nothing had been given in exchange. So people made all kinds of donations to social services but not money and they visited social services more, which pleased everybody. Gradually the cats were seen as soft toy cats rather than changing people’s lives, luckily real pets were never affected by the cats. However it was noticed that no real animal had torn or damaged the cat in any way. This was despite the fact that the cats had never been placed out of reach from real animals.
Well it is now recognized that the soft toy cat’s eyes never did get bigger. People thought the eyes got bigger, when imagining about crime escalation. This in turn made them think about their own skin colour, because of the proportions of colour on the soft toy cat. It helped people who were of one colour to see the mistakes they made in the past towards people of other colours and people of all colours realized mistakes they had made. Well it remains to be seen what the outcome of all this will be long term, but people largely think it could lead to something positive. The rise in crime has not yet occurred but its early days.
In the mean while the soft toy cats are still looked after well and don’t forget, they will be given away to any individual, without money being given.
THIS EXECUTION HAS TURNED INTO A CIRCUS
WHY IS THERE NO CONTROL THESE DAYS?
The people were mainly poorly dressed for the execution, a beheading. There was a huge crowd there of all ages talking about if the persons hair would turn grey on the head before it was removed. This feat had happened a few weeks ago and some people had won a massive peacock which flew around in their kitchen whenever they were eating.
The executioner was all dressed in pink, which received taunts from the crowd. He or She said beheading was joyful, because the weather in the nearby field was always much better than anywhere else on the day of execution. Executioner then led the guards into a dance and song called “The executioners swing” which was longer than the average death song which was around 1 minute.
Then the guility person came out and threw their shirt in the air, the lady who caught it fainted. Instantly she was picked up and the guilty person was allowed to kiss her, she almost woke up but not quite. If she had done, guilty person would go free. There is normally a let off at executions, but it spoils the fun for us.
Next the block was brought out, with some cheese on it. This was to feed the guilty persons adopted pet bat, which flew over the crowd and landed on their head. It refused to move, which annoyed some perfect people. They said it was luxury for some loved adopted pet to be touching their Master’s shoes whilst being executed. These people were promptly thrown into the stocks and faces were licked by children of all ages, to show how bad these people were. Typical these executions are always long.
Well finally the head was on the block and the executioner went back a few steps, this was unusual, maybe it was her/his first time. Executioner then ran forward and swung the axe, but was bitten by the bat. The executioner then swung a stick guiding the suns rays towards the infected part, 5 minutes later another beheading attempt was made. This time the axe spun out of the hands and raced towards the guards and cleanly took off their heads. The heads laughed when removed and were caught by a juggler who ran away. Executioner had probably lost their job by now.
Well the crowd started singing dirty ballads and the pink of the executioner’s outfit started to vanish and there was nobody there. Then the clothes which had turned black started to turn back and ran towards the crowd. The bat which was shrieking kept nipping old ladies knitting and honey flowed from the knitting which people took home. The clothes grew bigger and covered the crowds with them, there was much laughing. The clothes then vanished and all the people had turned into ghosts, which the executioner was as well. The ghosts all ran towards the guilty man and were anointed with some spray by the bat still clinging on guilty ones teeth which had fallen out due to shock.
The guilty man went home and wrote down the story. He could never finish, because every word which he wrote he went back in time so many years. This depended on how old the person was who had bumped into him as a ghost. As there were over 1000 people in the crowd, guilty person has gone back to the dinosaurs now. Any way he was not guilty, his wife thought she was signing the milk bill, but was accidentally given an executioners timetable by mistake. Who ever did that was sent in the corner of a room for a long long long long long time.
“WE ARE The Best,THEREFORE WE CANNOT BE DEFEATED BY THE DESERT”
He thought he was the best in many ways and so did she, they were a competitive couple and the envy of many. Their latest challenge was some Desert walking on their own, why should they need guides? They were good looking and loved the outdoors, so why worry about crossing the Desert? Possibly because it was better known than their words, which takes a lot of doing.
Their problems started on the second day. They had a map which was pinched from what looked like a happy monster. The monster had seemingly devoured it whole and then it drew a list of objects in the ground, whilst the couple watched helplessly. They missed these things dearly and tried to erase the drawings, but they refused to go. She tried to shoot some animals for necessary food, but even a few feet away hit only the sand. One of these animals flew back against a rock and went straight into His mouth. He swallowed it whole and his whole body turned yellow.
The man compared himself to the black cat who had so many 9 lives. In fact, he saw the black cat walking in front and behind both of them. It was both their lucky charm and they began to follow it, but it got them more and more lost. In the end, they sang some long lost songs and cactus grew, so they had made their mark in the Desert by helping it and improving their self confidence.They saw old items of trade . However, images of their owners appeared at night and frightened them. They were not ghosts, but warning signs about being known too much, even in their own country. Now they were totally lost and the water ran out.
The water ran out because they thought being clever that they would find the route, but nobody had for many years. Desert creatures teased them by showing how appalling their geography was and showed them a pair of walking brains hopelessly lost. The couple had brought the best kit money could buy, but it proved useless, because the couple had done little preparation before venturing in to Desert. Finally, they saw a mirage, but it was an animal lost for generations in the desert and thought to be extinct. The animal picked them up suddenly and flew off deeper into the desert. The couple were so down to earth, they thought it was some local invention. But it really was a magic animal, said by some to be over a 1000 years old.
They arrived at some very large Palace with animals as workers, to look after them completely in the fashion they wanted. The couple thought this was a hotel for humans only, but animals outdid them using words. The couple learnt how to fly magic animals and how to appreciate their ways. In essence they thought they had learnt a lot.
The next hurdle arrived when The Palace ran out of water. The animal guests vanished and soon the human couple were the only ones left, all the workers had gone too. In the distance, they saw a horse carrying something and when it was closer they got a shock. It was a neighbours horse and it was pulling a carriage. The owner of the hotel was very amused, but not the human couple, because in the carriage was a photograph of the couple. There was also a note saying this photograph would get bigger at night, so they could sleep under it and they would stay very warm. However, a cheque was demanded for a lot of money, but the couple were helpless. When he finished writing it, the horse, carriage and photo vanished in the distance.
They slept very well under the photograph, but when awoken, their clothes vanished and they could not get out of the photograph. However the photograph turned into 2 people looking exactly the same as the couple. Suddenly there was a clear light across the desert. The four of them carried the poor horse towards the shining light and survived without drinking water. It was a 3 day walk and they kept going, because when they stopped, so did the shining light. Near the end of the journey, they heard a noise in the horse, it was a snake wrestling with a cup of water with the horse.
They wrestled with the animals and separated them. The horse appeared in pink socks and the snake said they were both 200 years old. The other couple then got onto the snake and horse and vanished. The other couple came across the photo of themselves, but infact was a blanket. It was freezing temperatures that night, but the blanket saved them. They made their way back to the Palace, but it had crumbled into the sand. However the blanket was seen miles away from the 1000 year old animal, which its master had made many years before, now they were reunited.
At that point, people appeared, to congratulate the couple on passing their honeymoon test. Now their life was normal again, which they preferred.
WHEN THE DIAMONDS ARE GONE
Yes, I remember the Country well, a place full of genuine smiles and lack of hatred. It was not plagued by Civil War and tourists felt they had discovered a new Eden. True, there were books written about it and mass tourism did arrive, but a genuine presence was kept, in which people from there really enjoyed talking to you.
It was when showing my child a map, that even her face grew pale, when she read out the country aloud. True, usually the press built up a situation to false levels, but this time their predictions had come true. In a few years, my daughter planned to travel there with friends, to retrace my steps from many years before. It was not up to me to discourage her, but I felt genuine anxiety that the smile would be different on people living there.
I had looked in other travel places, but very few Companies offered this country as a destination. I asked why? but was given a series of vague replies. So I decided to travel there myself, my daughter was 13, so we could go in the summer holidays, for a month. When booking, I was given many other places as alternatives. On the plane there, people refused to accept I was going there on holiday. To them I was a reporter, which people in neighbouring Countries had grown weary of. This is because they were facing up to a new beginning and wanted to forget certain elements of the past.
There were places of beauty to visit in this Country, lovely flowers are the choice of any house to enter. There was no traffic but luckily the birds sang. A few people walked by, ready to leave the place for another country. Yet paradise was still here, lovely beaches, the rain felt full of embrace. People would eventually move into the country, due to overcrowding in other countries and then the fear of pinching another country would go.
So when I awake, it had all been a dream, yet we had to act to save this country before the people vanished. It was not a case of preaching the word, disposing of dictators, or jabbing with needles to eradicate disease. We did not need to collect money, so we hoped Worldwide that more people would listen, but what can they do about it? People have problems of their own, they do not have time to feel guilty about somebody, rumoured to be many miles away.
But you see, this was where the joke lay. The fact that this problem was in our country and our country alone. People vanished and instead there were diamonds. People would try and steal the diamonds, so people turned into statues and the diamonds would lie there in the ground. It was like a modern day version of the sword in the stone. There were honest and dishonest diamonds and the two were hard to identify by people taking them.
It was only when one person photographed the diamonds that the diamonds turned into people. Gradually the diamonds went, yet the people they turned into, had only been alive hours or minutes. All the people knew that the Countries wealth would be replaced by suffering in other places, so why would it not happen here? There are a few more days before the diamonds vanish completely, yet more humans are appearing than bodies vanishing. The diamonds are now reduced to memories, however they did not return to the Country again.
My dream was infact a lecture which I gave on the Country, encouraging it to return to the good times again. Yet there were memories everywhere of ten years, which had escaped my knowledge. This is when the Country was deserted, like at the beginning of this story, so how come I missed out this knowledge? Simply diamonds cause one to be happy and to forget, they cause people to do things that makes people regret. An example is raising a foreign army overseas, overpowering the Government and stealing diamonds.
This is a story I read was it? Is my memory fading? Why is that diamond with a knife besides it? An archaeology dig? That’s enough now, goodnight.
MATTHEW JAMES OULD
“SEARCHING FOR THE LIGHT”
“Searching for the Light”
An unknown year, an unknown place,
an unknown time of day - four strangers meet
by chance and are asked to write down
pleasant life experiences - did they panic? -
and / or write too quickly, here are the
startling results ..............
1. What Was I Before
4. Approaching Marriage Day
5. We Must Be Punished
8. Afternoon Scenes
9. They Said It Was Only a Field
11. Let's Talk Democracy
12. Paganism - The Old & The New
14. Jealousy Is Trying To Leave
16. Hello Special Friend
17. Playing With Fire
18. The Healers
20. The Magic Cottage
22. Hail The Trees
24. My First Childs Just Been Born
26. I've Been Drinking Too Long
27. Everyone Needs Friends
28. The Golden Soul
30. Computers Are Good But
31. I Remember That Precious Weekend
34. Imagine Going To War
35. Roll The Dice Please, One More Time For Me
37. Money - My Rise and Fall
39. Lonely and Rarely Sad, I Thought
40. Actor's Memories
41. Out Of Work
42. Messages In The Weather
44. I Cannot Believe I Nearly Gave This Away
46. Lives Are Easier When Love's Around
48. The Old And Time
WHAT WAS I BEFORE
(A POEM ON A PAST LIFE)
She trod this earth five hundred years ago
The village woman whom love partnerships eluded
The deepest lay in her Profession
A herbalist which bred hallmarks of frustration.
The authorities suspiciously smelt the scent
and sought to weave her within their web
"Herbalism is a terminal oddity,
overseas, this creature would be earmarked a witch.
England (tut-tut) is far too soft a haven!"
Her premature departure at twenty-two was sickness.
She escaped the feared judicial noose
The wise woman's presence/profession lingered in the village,
like filtering down herbalistic lore.
Work aimed to cure,
thus both eyes closed content.
Mother, "thanks for healing my mind",
when I saw stars fall from the sky
and for producing magical moments,
to be recalled in periods of sadness,
always on a crest of a wave.
My largest promise is to send you.
the letter that ends all my other ones,
thanking you for all you have done.
Yet words do not come easy to me
and time slips by farther every day.
Sorry for the year my words turned against you,
moving from town to town produced no love fairytale,
the greatest love always stemmed from you.
I mentally grabbed your shadow when alone,
hours of time on the telephone
helped stem the flow of tears.
Your constant supplies of strength
are a great motto to me.
You never know what is around the corner,
those words keep coming around again to me.
We are lucky to have stuck together as a team.
The generation gap no longer seems that much
and love through kind words is the saviour now,
so do not be scared to ever run to me for help.
I will always be there for you
that is the beauty of loving somebody forever.
So Mother I wrote this poem for you this evening
as a tribute to your kind soul.
Your love for people again and again
will always keep candles burning,
when somebody feels they are trapped in the cold.
Goodnight Mother, faith and love these are treasures to me
APPROACHING MARRIAGE DAY
Her voice of autumn suddenly gripped her
and symbolically shredded snaps of past desires.
Her lovers personality seemingly could not spout
faint breezes in a well groomed tree,
yet feared their secret viper moods
would sprint and pierce the precious gift of time.
Sometimes she sensed her body ;leaving her
and being enlightened with her favourite flower.
Then she grasped her boyfriend's voice pleading,
"I would be stuck in permanent rain,
If your entire image was not entwined in my brain."
She imagined their binding day
on their sacred local football ground.
In the stands, rejuvenated people stand tall,
whose Marriage shadows had closed in,
singing joyfully "Give marriage the chance".
Regardless of the times.
The sun will always take a bow.
Let's walk, talk and love on thin air
the Wedding day harmony blues may plead
for lingering survival on thin air,
yet we cannot blossom on thin air.
Let's free fall quickly from thin air,
otherwise we'll be lost in our dream cloud
WE MUST BE PUNISHED
The premier lash cascaded me to heaven and back
this daily dose of ecstasy outweighs most peoples thrills
it's divine retribution for the sin I have committed
each stroke summons pleasant images of my wife
whom I departed for my daughter's best friend
and she administers my planned object of desire.
Miss Whiplash cried out lines of adultery,
from the Old and the New Testament
every time you quote incorrectly.
A fragment of your heart dies
and your wife's picture grows ever more blurred.
My sons best friend delivers a curious portrait
when we say "how's it going?" On the step
my wife's beaten black and blue, then confronts me
and deals the ultimate ace
"This was my 7th day of suffering
since we cut the scissors together
of the picture which says:-
You're together until somebody's dust",
By the way "This is my replacement"
so then I knelt down and confessed all.
It was a curious scenario,
We expected the post mortem cried our children
"No my dears, we are now reunited.
early on in our marriage we granted
each other an openness to anybody
but only for the first year.
Unscrupulous behaviour will return to haunt thee,
Exchanging the same dream recently.
so, please children, turn the tables
and tell your elders, "This is how to behave."
One of these days we must sit down
and discuss what we don't understand about each other.
It's going to be hard for we are both shy
and I pray it won't be long.
Yet recent events giving answers
may have ended that for a while.
It was very hard you changing jobs after many years,
in my mind you struck gold.
Many times on your work journey in life.
Some work methods I've tried to copy
and these will stay to my retirement hopefully.
We share a lot of interests
luckily some returned to me recently,
because otherwise it would have been sad
to have thought of the joy they gave us
and never to touch our hearts again.
Your courage with facing certain problems
is a tribute to you as a human being.
Stay brave, things seem so much better now,
you led the team when we were in despair,
your determination repaired our jaded minds.
As the years float on by,
your gentle manner will always help you.
You taught us life spares nobody from problems.
Lessons of life I learn from you
which one day I would be proud
to pass on to my children.
'Daffodils and marigolds chattering - laughing,
They're blowing in the wind.
Honey bees drop onto them.
Falling fragments out of the sky,
Lovely lawn - it's just lost its beards.'
Behind - the golden eagle hovers around
that small mountain den
'My territory - that's sacred'.
'Trespassers thou will be pecked'.
Friends and lovers smile into each other's eyes,
'Who is really there'
Cobras and charmers perfecting perfect patterns
For tomorrow's enchanted child.
Middle aged man, hat, pipe, polly on his left,
Stares blankly into the sky -
Is it the clouds/his incredible career
Veering into another phase?
Daughter, mother, Gran and Grandpa George
Link arms - tango into the midsummer's fading light.
As night time falls, closing time please
People gone, flowers sleep and I must go now too.
THEY SAID IT WAS ONLY A FIELD
The Family huddled around wrestling with fate,
our field 300 years of heritage
duped by some town schmuck.
The storm of 29 seemingly engulfed your Grandfather,
yet he was already married to his earth,
so wavered not when the moon broke down,
The field interacted with his soul.
Some locals speculated our field produce
could inject social harmony to
the pleading starving town masses.
When famine acquainted itself in the village,
other fields were readily employable,
yet even the worms fled in disgust.
So the families wallowed in self contentment
by queuing for life from our field,
they voted it the saviour that year.
The prospects of viewing concrete over lambs
flooded out our house with tears.
Residing in town is a one-way lair
to a crockload of despair.
I swore my ashes would be scattered
over the field, the town doesn't own them.
The cock crowed 13, signalling our demise
for traitor was reportedly initialling the deed
sunbathing sipping champagne in that field
But the villagers arrived with sparkling eyes,
the petition signalled victory
for country over town.
Our bloodline seemingly dormant,
now oozed from every grain.
Thank you comrades,
come share the fine feast from our field.
LET'S TALK DEMOCRACY
Our son is snared in his shell
muted by the racial taunts.
Yet his parents applauded
the country they lived in.
Self humbling meetings took place
when tormentors and victims met face to face.
Some tormentors blamed their country's colonial past
the imperial attitude was "we will
always be better than you."
Thus although the empire is redundant
this standard pathetic colonial thought
has taught us to react
in some of the old format.
The mediators squashed this notion "It's too easy
to blame our country's Ancestral past."
They said it's really about lessons
being dug from the human heart
and letting harmony in,
for peace will reign when harmony wins.
After several meetings the rejoicings
parents penetrated their sons shell.
"Hoorah" his stature is rising high
and feels his confidence is everywhere.
The three of us now campaign
for more meetings across the country
for its our land as well
lets talk "harmony" - That's democracy.
PAGANISM - THE OLD & THE NEW
Rufus King of England will soon die, it's 1100 AD.
Oh, unsuspecting friend did you release this arrow?
Yet these woods cannot hide all my foes
The public were persistently painted a picture
of how evil my mind was
however the propaganda machine never stopped rolling
because I am openly Pagan.
King Rufus said It's now half a Millennium
when Paganism was purged from these shores
I tried to stand up and show my people
That the older religion of a country
can live in harmony with the new.
900 years then passed by
when a mere tourist observing Rufus's final port of call
reckoned the king is smiling
for more people now say openly
"Paganism, I really do believe"
and fearing less the heavy intolerant hand
The tourist pictured Rufus's ideal scene
a group of believers critics and sceptics share common ground
"Toleration - not fundamentalism is the key"
old and new Religions and non believers please unite
and be a blueprint for ever more.
Two ants scurried across the table
pet rat snored silently
telephones alive - sorry it's in the mind
the aspirins seemingly hover nervously
saying "Surely not again?"
She left 66 days ago
seems like 666
mates rapping, tapping on the front
they're avoiding my frequent distant stare.
"Gotta be some way out of here"
(in French) to the hanging masks on the wall
which surrounds me so much more
hundreds of hands - flap - clap - flap.
counted sheep to sleep
lovely Lucille appears in the night
then I wake once more.
JEALOUSY IS TRYING TO LEAVE
People breathed with new souls again
the night jealousy died.
There were many shrines destroyed
in people's mind by jealousy.
Faces seemed brighter and more welcoming,
the moment jealousy crept from town.
Arguments were more pleasant, even the moon smiled
when jealousy was bankrupt from the dictionary.
Happy faces were soon drinking tears,
when jealousy soon returned
and the air seemed heavier with remorse again.
Flowers seemed cross to go into peoples homes
in case they smelt the scent of jealousy.
Everyone is joining forces, stating unity in the town,
to ban jealousy for permanent time.
A stranger stalked through town the other night
and promised a "no-lose" windfall for the town,
It promised it knew the secret of expelling jealousy for good.
The dancing was for one week, nobody dared sleep
as jealousy packed up to haunt other minds.
Yet everyone became suddenly too nice
and some people even got bored.
Jealousy just did not know how to leave.
The last waltz on a Sunday night in town,
is held to remind the town of jealousy,
that the human soul can never rid of it
and although nobody would admit it,
everbody owned a piece of it.
People wrote down jealous thoughts and swapped it
with the neighbours, so lessons were learnt.
In a generation, the stranger will return
to see how much jealousy can go away.
So the flower of peace returns to remind people
of a possible permanent joy, when jealousy said "Goodbye”
HELLO SPECIAL FRIEND
My mind drifted towards you the other day,
although it's so less often now.
Have you found that long awaited love?
Or are you in some lonely place in the rain?
Your voice seems a fading memory now.
I always knew your many friends
gave you heartfelt advice when you are down.
It must seem that I only desired
to know you to secure romance.
I called to express sincere thoughts,
yet you were lost in the town crowd
to find a precious welcome escape.
Perhaps when we are in different places,
sometimes we remember each other's images, thinking
"What they would say to help?"
Do a few tears escape remembering
we said we'd stay special friends.
So should I prepare for a tearful reunion?
Or see your image float from the shore
with happiness beating on you from the sun.
As Valentine days fly past,
will your face lose it's grasp on me?
Your picture of flowers in my room
will always shine brightly with happy memories.
Dream on, dream on, yet I
don't want to escape the past,
but who can replace that special friend?
PLAYING WITH FIRE
I really was a sceptic scornful of the board
the dangers were outlined yet the invitation was always there
temptation finally prevailed as we battered down the
the glass buzzed around and we recorded all.
A tale of pregnancy and murder last century
transported us into the other world
yet what scene/re-enactment-fantasy were we playing out?
The language was contemporary
whose tortured soul's had we restored?
Alarm bells rang when
we were nearly stuck to the glass and our chairs.
My mentor became our tormentor and then slid into reverse.
a strange stench hung in the room
and a picture was seemingly lopsided
exhausted by the event.
The next few days I walked between the living and the dead
examples please - well, a woman's face was
demonic in the crowd
and smoke filtered into my personal domain.
Medication restored my balance several days later
yet 400 on I was consulting with a Priest
The door of freedom may slam shut for good
If I elect to choose too much time
In the presence of the dead.
There are many hurdles for me to jump
before fleeing this deep draining illness
and the tablets are letting me down.
However I will not fold my arms,
sit down and say a final goodbye.
My body wanted to become its former self
so I walked daily in the countryside.
There were deer who crept up to me
and raised me a big hearty smile.
The knees became weak for I knew
good people were also saying fond "hello,"
I must be stronger willed before them.
There's a rustling by the brook
an owl is yelling out "I'm in trouble".
Thus I pick up the mantle
of being the strong one,
I had preserved a life that day.
Yet it was largely the medicine
which made it fly once again.
So I rushed to the cupboard
like old Mother Hubbard
who would never have run out of medicine.
Thus I took up retaking my medicine
and moved house to the countryside.
Again and again it cried out to me
"here you can regain to train
to claim back a new lease of life."
The old walks lifted me more than ever,
but first I had paid my respects
to a sad old ailing tree,
yet now it stood teeming with life
so rested by it with a happy heart.
However in closing this chapter
I must pay tribute
to the real healers
the medicine and people
who have assisted me
to regain that precious gift called life.
THE MAGIC COTTAGE
The cottage illuminates the soul's greatest fantasy,
entrenched in the vaults of the forest,
where even spiders get puzzled finding the address.
There's always a blanket of harmony waiting,
even the fairies and the wolves exchange
delicate words when meeting in the cottage.
It usually snows to match your most recent dream
of the most tranquil scene of the cottage.
It feels its beauty melting unless a person's
passion does not increase tenfold when stumbling upon it.
Please remember, this house traps your mind,
hearts are not forgiven when viewing then stalking away.
The last few owners were healers of people and animals,
using the forest's natural gifts so love is ingrained
in the cottage walls, moonlight quarrels won't spoil it.
The princess and prince of all seasons always visit,
to bless this cottage with picturesque seasonal scenes.
They think only owners who summon dodos out of
the finest trees around the cottage should breathe here.
Yet everyone has magic in the palm of their hands
to conjure up the cottage visions when alone and sad.
The cottage owners must see heavens and beauty in everything,
otherwise the solitude could reduce sanity to dust.
The cottage will dissolve in tears if money is given for it.
The cottage passes on the secret to new owners
in a dream, of the life saving medicine
to the forests rarest find, the unicorns.
The cottages emotions are ablaze with joy,
for it knows a dream has entered someone's mind
of the paradise cottage. The location
where every person wants to stay.
The people’s dream escape.
HAIL THE TREES
Signs of a harmonious infectious Eden,
with people and forests ignited when,
humans invited the tree spirits
to unite with their souls.
The dispute had not flared then.
Centuries later people shared visions,
the sun had turned green
and its suicidal - it's going to explode.
Some people forgot their past green sins,
chop chop more more cannot stop.
Humankind crawled off to see the spirit people
and with honest regret snared on their tongues,
bowed down handing a fresh gold olive leaf.
Seemingly stagnant statues suddenly saw sense,
both leaders tortured breath waned with talks,
to prove the sun would go sane again.
The spirit people welcomed them
to a long buried show.
Ancient Ancestors showing how their skills
respected the "hearts" of the forest
the forest's black eyed dogs started
planning gnawing the humans brains
dishing deserved retribution for destroying trees.
The dogs turned friendly seeing
humans with tears in their eyes
for the environmental demonstration
was not set in year "zero"
it was in AD 2222
in many places around the globe
creatures and humans were breathing freer
for the trees were plentiful again.
MY FIRST CHILDS JUST BEEN BORN
I must not stare into
my first born child's eyes
to ponder if they have
the potential killer traits.
I want to collect a silver moon
the timeless lucky emblem for my child
to emotionally use carefully as my first gift.
The words "think lucky" would
always be enshrined on it.
The whirlpool of harm then won't
embrace the infant for a flickering moment.
Are the armies of protection already too stoked?
The nurse said generously "you are 32"
no I am 23 I look older
because I sell flowers near Heavens gate.
One metes out honest sympathy
working near the cemetery
as delicately as a surgeon with the scalpel.
I feel like reserving a place
dealing overtime with the reaper
for the last 7 years.
I also cope with personal demons slating me
for having an abortion aged 16.
The night I met my child
equalled my rebirth
and once again the flowers
had plenty to say.
The drain near my flower stall
cast away my entrenched swarms of tears.
The dead embraced the new born in a dream
and wished them well on earth.
so many happy vibes fixated in my head
for my offspring had awarded me a
radiant new pathway in my life.
I'VE BEEN DRINKING TOO LONG
7 pints yesterday
will the nightmare never cease
Morrison-Moon I won't follow you
Friends galore evaporated in the picture
even my mother - 'not you too!'
Poe drunk from bar - bar
40's young, yet celebrated through and through
what about idiot? (That's myself)
as the sick crashed the wall
enjoyed the 90's - what about 2?
Drinking - silently sinking
blinking up now down and out.
Six foot under - only 28
roared an ex-drunkard now controlled
realisation triggered through the brain.
Choice is yours
Drink & Die!'
EVERYONE NEEDS FRIENDS
Friends smile brighter than rare groomed diamonds,
memories of my visions of anger fade when
moonlight reveals friends against the sparkle of one's mind.
Cascades of tears are jilted by remembering friend's kind words,
telephone wires melt with frenzy when gusts
of sound advice sing aloud along the line.
Phrases from friends' letters are strewn in the brain,
I hope my name's initialled over a friend's heart.
I am like a rare animal who hibernates a long time,
then when a friend cannot dispose of bad luck,
my words aim to strike heavier chords than optimistic dreams.
The message aims to rock-a-bye the friend's soul,
that would be recalled until they surrender life.
My role is to repair friends sad states without paybacks,
I am blunt no midnight soft words trail my lips.
My mind stops clocks 24 hours a day when friends shout help.
Friends seemed lost by you not uttering "sorry",
you know they are gone when their dreams don't excuse you.
The investment was heavy, you climbed many mountains together,
they dig in the memory which time does not remove.
Well, go on, lose face, but this victory's for life,
for you've kept a friend by remembering hard times together,
when the ties were so strong hurricanes could not remove them,
but most importantly rock-a-bye the word "sorry" to your friend
and a new dawn will seem fresh again.
THE GOLDEN SOUL
Whenever I view your smiling face,
I almost bow down in praise
for the time you helped me
when my husband was ill.
You were my best friend
and this I will take to the grave.
I have worked all over the World
and kept a record of how kind people are,
your score is the highest one.
I'm much older now, I've stopped the records,
you've won the trophy of golden soul,
I feel that thank you is not enough.
It's been over 30 years since we last met,
bet your smiling face still throws away harsh winds.
I have kept a photo of it,
to help myself when in dark corners.
Your smiling face saved your wondering mind
from whispered abuses of the humankind.
So it's your actions such as smiling,
that seem to save people you befriend.
My words sometimes do melt people,
yet sometimes they are simply not enough.
It's a golden soul I want to keep,
for myself to fight on in life.
So if you ever own a golden soul,
always keep a tight hold on it
and people will never tire of you.
I'm moving now to a brand new place,
still looking for another golden soul.
Yet as time rapidly passes by
I say to myself, "nobody's perfect"
shall I give up? for overall I feel fine.
COMPUTERS ARE GOOD BUT
Mum is this really true?
Children of my age used to play
many games in village streets.
You purchased my best buddy
at only 16 working hours.
No human would ever locate
all these pals for someone
as reclusive as myself.
Goodbyes are far less painful,
a button's pressed, you've never met their face.
My brain's aghast , I love assisting the human race,
but again "They've purchased most of my wares"
said an optician sadly recalling,
a professor's correct utterance
that new human ailments are breeding fast.
I wind myself up repeating the same old rhyme,
their evening relaxation is adding to their pain,
in front of the knackered square box.
They confess "Well, I don't watch much,
but then forget what their day job was.
I REMEMBER THAT PRECIOUS WEEKEND
Recently I bought a caravan,
took my children to the sea.
My Wife stayed alone at home,
would have thought tensions flew around,
yet everyone was happy all the time.
Only my Wife before stopped mayhem in my mind,
Now the children helped me in ways I did not know.
I was easily the weakest person,
now lives stars seem to sparkle more,
the weekend addressed questions buried long ago.
My Wife was able to go dancing with friends
said she felt younger and was free,
which I will try and remember every day.
Women's rights must boom much more here.
Talking more about deep feelings which must arise.
My world now collides with greater joy,
when the house welcomes her home.
Many meetings of hearts and minds
have made us feel more free.
There's something in the way we react to words
that produce magical moments to treasure.
It's like a second honeymoon for us.
The sun could vanish, I would notice,
if she left me for good all alone.
Yet we are coping much better now,
for we know we will always
be opposite in so many ways.
I respect her hopefully so not to sound demeaning.
Our lives are so much better now since that weekend.
Two seconds to react,
screams are trapped in one's throat.
The car and ourselves seem weighted by chains,
as time dies before car-car contact.
My eyes shut down to kill the haunting scene,
but dream time imagery will conjure up
? ? ?
Reality returns, strange forces emerge
swarming around the car, it's the living dead!
"have any passengers left this earth"?
ordeal's over and we can now just walk away.
Flashing lights shatters the myth that everything's normal,
Inside the ambulance it feels like ones final port of call.
I'm soon discharged and drift home to bed,
somebody's saying "tomorrow's just another normal day"
But I'm asleep and first come the nightmares,
"combat on remain".
IMAGINE GOING TO WAR
Goodbye, democracy. "Hello" to pain
glad I healed a wound with a certain friend
whatever I was now what image is fastened on me
killing is survival but how can one truly thrive?
I'm studying a photo of a male opposer
he seemed to be saying "sorry"
where'as only "kill" lay smothered on his lips
now he's comforting the almost extinct.
After the trenches overran with blood
The soldier requested mental help,
Yet only received a cell.
Now the persons post war tensions
are a welcome study for
The modern soldier's potential medicine.
ROLL THE DICE PLEASE, ONE MORE TIME FOR ME
Her suitcase is obtaining itchy feet,
wish I had burnt an image of myself.
The walls are still trembling from
the recent morbid phrases strewn around.
The cats started barking, too scared to come in,
there's more storms lurking around the house.
She's aching to pick up her belongings,
which are sighing with relief at living soon in peace.
I should have read your forecast in the leaves,
I should have been a better domestic man.
You always were the ace at being the bread winner.
I should have agreed at having children,
instead of basking in reams of 5-star entertainment.
Now child's cries "you're great Dad", shatter my fragile dreams,
we were competitors instead of a team.
I'll explore my greatest depths to repair your broken heart,
roll the dice please one more time for me.
Let's dig out and salvage our crumbling emotions,
otherwise arguments will flourish if we unite in heaven.
I have flushed you down the drain in many ways,
I hope to be the new man of this age,
by opening the door to unseen domestic chores.
I was never very good at loving anybody,
kisses equalled stalactites and embraces like ghosts.
My stopwatch for this relationship has nearly expired,
my mood will kill roses if I loose you now.
Romeo will never be my lucky shadow,
let me light the candle much more in you.
I'll unwrap my new self quickly now,
my old mind can rot in the garbage can.
We could report our happiest emotions in a scrapbook,
having children would expel the dire repetition
of loving the keys of the latest jaguar.
Please, let's discuss our crossroads of despair,
remember we've melted each others soul with kind words.
MONEY - MY RISE AND FALL
I felt really cool owning lots of money
and would laugh at low owners calling them dummies.
It could never happen to me any more,
I should change my bath water to champagne,
I did not talk much for time was money.
People whispered once I was too nice a person,
so I changed my ID without saying sorry.
I had so many false friends,
so one gave out wrong addresses,
I did not trust anybody any more.
I was such a high flier,
excess then begun to bore me.
It's a shame my wife is expecting, I once thought,
what time have I for a child?
I'll just say 'Hello it'.
So it really was a shock,
when life dared say I'd lost face,
my Manager who owned less in life than me
said "Your behaviour's cost you your job."
I felt I redeemed myself
by begging my surprised Wife to stay,
we were two strangers bonded by love.
I admit I had to grovel
and shift through the mud
to surface with proper friends again.
My bank manager almost smiled saying, "You're broke."
I thought my friends foolish
not to cancel my debts,
even though my next job would outsmart all their money,
so I became a nice person again.
Money really wrecked my life,
it was hard work saving my soul.
I'm a low earner now "Hooray"
and I hold my face up high.
I do charity work, for this is my line.
I laugh at my high earning friends,
they think they purchase love with their money.
Many are in a lonely place
where I can understand them,
so I show them where not to fall.
My life beats their hour.
LONELY AND RARELY SAD, I THOUGHT
I was silently treading the City streets for loneliness,
the bars were alive, most eyes avoided my looks.
However the loners picked up on my stare,
we often end up too far down Memory Lane
and the rain falls down with much pain.
Yet I weep most for loneliness when in autumn time.
I enjoy shaking hands firmly with an imaginary reaper,
by my favourite pond at sundown,
where we only discuss good things in life.
These meetings repairs my sanity or perhaps loneliness.
The reaper told me truths about myself,
so goodbye so called friend, my only ones loneliness.
I bend down and feed City stray dogs,
one feels better talking to non-human beings,
it's brought back a light in my life once again.
Dog saved me from drowning in the canal
I was lonely, drowning, it made me love people more.
Loneliness brings me happiness in my own personal way.
I felt rays of heaven when alone,
self pity died in a bottle years ago for me,
yet life is full of comebacks.
Now I emerge to shake many human hands.
Yes, I do live in this World with other humans,
it's fun, it's sad, I want to share it not alone.
'Mean Streets' said the taxi driver,
my final act came four minutes before.
'History now' cried the great dictator behind the door
Mummy drags my figure into his tomb
Inside Oscars turned to ash
at my age, Welles had dried up too.
Fangs connecting neck, green man chases John
ears aching toiling with the bells.
Antoinette on Scarlets back from the gallows.
'Juliet' - hand on heart - 'are you truly my girl?'
behind some mask I have played them all.
Autograph please - sorry - What's your role?
Sometimes I have gained acclaim and applause
Brookshaw and the one eyed creature the
placard said it All.
OUT OF WORK
Webbs weaved on suit, the trousers are in a jumble,
the cities full of snakes, heartbeats race.
May batteries were discharged one year ago.
Hello Mr Snail, knock, knock, is there anybody there?
Who's next please on the assembly line?
Old father time stopped the clock - days dying,
thermometer explodes at 120 degrees in the house - I'm suffocating
pondering at the cross roads - which path - no I've lost my way.
An emergency - 10.20 - 10.40 - 11.00 I must take a pill.
Joy, hundreds upon hundred, lines of lies, tears - all spill on that page.
Town people bustle past like a speeded up film
Shop prices have multiplied ten times overnight,
you're living in the past - Haggling's not allowed
Head left - right - embarrassed, suspicious - I feel like a spy.
Family and friends who've moved mountains sometimes seem such strangers
My body's on that scrap heap 'Temporary basis'
Hope one million plus feel that theirs is too.
MESSAGES IN THE WEATHER
One must secretly bless nature's will
when the sun extracts you to dispose
of your irrational demons in the morning.
It strips away the segments of sadness
and leaves the core much easier to handle.
Many people positively adore it,
when vitamin pills are mentally rationed
until Autumn boasts to the sun
"it's up to me to alter radically
peoples moods to deal with hibernation."
"Both of us should capture
an image of the sun
into a locket over our hearts"
said the lovers stargazing
into each others minds.
We would probably have crushed our days
counting insects on our bedroom ceilings
if our eyes had not mutually danced
when first meeting at the hazy pool
which threw up dancing waves of passion
were we both hypnotised by the sun that day?
People acted like their ancient ancestors
possibly predicting further trouble because
mankind's "earthly" barbarity virtually blocked the sun.
Eventually the sun and moon
almost went on strike for one day.
"There may be unity for
further generation's the people cried
The words were sparkling across the sky
"Don't squander peace on earth for greed"
that really was a landmark time
when masses saw the most positive weather message of them all.
I CANNOT BELIEVE I NEARLY GAVE THIS AWAY
I'm lovesick for the train to take me home
to my wife and children who nearly banished me.
I played Casonova with a younger lover,
my heart bled when love turned stale.
The rollercoaster changing life and soul
was too expensive a ride for me.
I was pardoned by my Wife
for the rough childhood days I endured.
I pray to life for precious gifts given me,
I almost gave this away.
Life however, seemed charmed away from home,
reality was boring, I am always the little boy.
I, hand on heart, missed reading bedtime stories,
is the Wife really coping, returning to work.
I feel like acting out penance for eternity,
my Wife has rediscovered happiness for me.
I'll repay with promises lighting up bleak days.
My actions must be told when the kids get older,
for some of their childhood months were damaged,
by a lonely figure intent on destroying lives.
In a nightmare my Wife and children walked
away from me into rain rejoicing in happiness.
I'd hate men if my children repeated this human curse.
Happy days have returned to this family again,
I play the fantasy games with the children.
I'm still a child who now won't run away,
the ex lover has promised to fade.
My sanity became stale when
my family were for sale.
My mind's still angry, for I almost
gave this priceless happiness away.
LIVES ARE EASIER WHEN LOVE'S AROUND
Peter was ambitious and lived alone,
he thought it easier to catch
the silver suns on his own.
In his soul he thought he could breathe without love,
but his mind only takes him to areas
where he can only break down and cry.
Tears shatter louder on the ground when love is gone.
Peter sat down and wrote his first long letter
to brother where hearts and memories clashed
about the happy times and struggles they had together.
They mentally warned each other that,
aching heart meetings plagued their minds,
so they set a date where
handkerchiefs would not dry in the wind.
The rollercoaster of life would otherwise freewheel
where reunions are lost forever in grains of sand.
Peter wanted to become an ambassador to his parents,
where a younger voice in moments of frozen time,
would ease a troubled mind about growing old.
Peter swore to be one of their mirrors.
Love merged in new experiences in life,
so love always swore to survive,
for the sake of humankind.
Peter admits love has rescued his loners mind.
Sacrifices were not bitter, he feels a younger man.
He thanks certain people for giving advice
on love which gave the courage to search.
Although some arguments seem like
winter never turns to sun,
new horizons are easier to catch when
there's someone real and you're both in love.
THE OLD AND TIME
I recently obtained strange vibes preparing for Father time,
to usher in a hopeful memorable year.
I'm old, I feel like Father Time's Father,
yet I embrace the modern time,
my shadows do not yell for the past.
I lived with somebody before marriage in the 1930's.
I recently became my grandchild's age "Oh time, stand still"
when he tapped into me for the timeless persons advice,
on how two people survive before the blossom springs.
The lost young adult is still ingrained in my old bones.
I pierced open ands entered my children's era,
by working in the new tidal trend wave - rock and roll.
I have shed new skin,
I am the child within me.
I can move easily into other generation realms,
timeless should be stamped on my brain.
I've felt the sun shine much in my time,
yet recently omens change it to bleak skies.
My mask is tiring to appear trendy to the young,
I'll embrace old and still thrive for time.
Time breathes excitement, there's new horizons for me.
THE WOOD FOR THE BARBECUE WAS THE CROSS OF JESUS
Chicken, lamb and peanuts too,
as they sang around the bonfire,
Cooking the memories of a heated day.
Two pennies each please, to rest by the fire,
did anybody ask “If the wood burning comes from the skies?”
It is a Cross still wailing about Events a Month ago,
when a Man titled Jesus stopped breathing on it.
The Person who saved it, asked that justice be done,
best Wood ever, as fire sighs and gladly sleeps.
The blood stained Wood burnt well, yet Jesus had style,
a Dove rested on me, when his last call was heard,
yet the bonfire of Christ's Cross, made me become a true Christian.
This barbecue costs nothing, yet
tomorrow’s Work never ends,
spreading Prayer, more than lighting
Candles, for Christ never leaves.
PRAISES FOR JUDAS ISCARIOT
Judas Iscariot, so many Years of hate and shame,
but we, the Christian Community are to blame.
Jesus’s words, “Everybody must be forgiven”, escape our grasp.
The Curses Poison the air around the area of Judas’s Hanging tree,
which cleared temporarily when a newborn Child
was named Judas there.
Judas may have been for Years, the selected sacrificial Lamb,
but by cutting short Jesus’s Preaching time, made it precious,
than Years of Possible declining Audiences
and bored of hearing ones own Voice.
Judas had a headache and was upset at the Last Supper.
When young, did Judas think “I will die Violently”?
Kissing Jesus was the worst kiss of my Life
And the Praises received has stuck to my skin.
It is the first time I have let a friend down,
the Vultures may have me as their celebrated tea.
Perhaps one day I may be forgiven?
“THE VICAR IS MY REAL HERO”
Why should I go to Church? when Jesus Christ,
was born, lived and died hundreds of miles away.
Why is that Country today regularly awash with flames?
Some only want me to listen to Religious Teachings at School,
So I will not again have Sex with that girl during Lunch time pause.
The Ten Commandments are in the Old Testament anyway.
The largest Congregation in Our Church are the Spiders.
There is more pressure on me, because my Names are Biblical.
There were 38.5 People playing “God” in my Favourite Disco Place.
Sunday Morning, some Friends are asleep, dreaming of sleeping more,
Whilst I Mentally draw Pictures of God on the Church Walls.
The Vicar vanished in a cloud of Smoke during the Sunday Service,
“Vicar, you are really my hero, my proper Mentor”.
We found Vicar outside the Church speaking in many Tongues,
so I said “Sorry for my Sinning”, in an Angelic voice to the Vicar,
behind Vicar, I saw Jesus smiling and waving a hand at Me.
I HELD THE BABY JESUS IN MY HAND WITHOUT KNOWING WHO HE WAS
The Streets of Bethlehem were alive with Trading cries,
when I was Lost, I fell over the steps of a small Room, cursing God.
This was because a Baby was weeping in tune, what cherub mouth,
the Parents with love, let me have some sacred space for sleep.
I was allowed the Baby in my cursed hands,
Feeling warmth and inner Strength, this innocent Child felt Blessed.
I uttered to Baby soothing Prayers and touched his Head.
I told his parents, “Your Child will never be any Trouble”,
They smiled and said, “God bless You, Your Words are Honest”.
It was 50 Years Later, I Discovered the Baby was Jesus Christ and
remembered his Love to Me when Holding him in my Worthy Hands.
Jesus has Changed the World for the better for ever.
I am lucky enough to have drawn the only Picture of the Baby Jesus,
Which I will hand Peacefully to Jesus’s Family one Day.
If the Authorities find it, I might be Crucified,
For some meaningful reason, I would Sacrifice my Life for Jesus.
The World has a new Hero, so we can Rest Peacefully when Dead.
I wonder how much in Life, My Picture of Jesus is Worth?
but God means more, Surely now my Life has New meaning?
Knowing I have Painted on Paper the Body of The
Definitive Blessed One, Jesus Christ.
“THE DEVIL HAS BEEN TAMED”
It is my Seventeenth Operation to Rid the Numbers 666,
which appeared on My Forehead a few Seasons ago.
My Crimes versus Humankind, with the First Course never ending,
the attention, My Detention, I was good at Numbers at Work.
Unwelcome Idols, Branded jokes, even across the Marshes.
I discovered the Devil’s Grave, so I cannot reach God Home,
the Combination Lock is Complicated, the Curious queue for Hours
and the Hole at least is filled Up with my Crimes.
I Tried the Stigmata Game, causing Temporary Loss of Hair in Church.
One Six is Fading, because Everybody Sings a Carol in July, in the Operation Room.
The last two Sixes are Happily being Purged in Heaven Correctly,
for the Devil’s Grave is now 170 Foot Long, of God’s Earth now.
Its Burial Chamber is Full of Positive Religious Quotations regarding Peoples Lives,
Handbells Ring Worldwide, whispers to Rejoicing, The Devil’s been Tamed.
“EVEN UNCLE BELIEVED IN THE END”
Uncle always denied he said Prayers, despite living through numerous Wars,
“Waste of stinking time a Church Building giving me a free Funeral” said he.
He would have laughed his tongue off, knowing he died on Easter Day,
just when Religious Singers waved to him going past his door.
A Church Funeral is demanded, Uncle paid 2 pence for it in his will.
We think the Religious Drama is over, with Curtain around Coffin,
suddenly a Curtain opens and “The Brain God” from the Furnace appears.
Some people gasp “We have seen Jesus Christ”, but others remained polite.
The Brain God all in White Shrieks “Anybody interested in Uncle’s last request”?
It was the most Religious listening our Family had ever done,
When Brain God said “Your Uncle told me he believes,
Jesus died on a Seven Foot Cross, and was Happily restored back to loving Life
and Ascended into Heaven before Midday, now Uncle wants a Religious Song”.
Brain God draws some Words into the Air and vanishes into Heaven.
We keep Singing our Own Words “Let’s follow this Religion,
Easter Day will always be Now Our Favourite Day”.
HOSPITALS ARE ALWAYS RELIGIOUS PLACES
A swear box would be rich though People giving pennies for saying “Oh my God”
This is the reality of God’s making, Death, Survival and Newborn,
Religion is lost and found at the fastest rate in any Place Worldwide.
Some felt God kidnapping their thoughts, because Everybody Prays here.
There is real Religious Belief here, because People’s Prayers are most sincere.
Why does God not know how long my New Heart will last? God Spoke on
the Religious Radio Show, “Much Pain Here, but the only Gain is Following Me”.
Somebody asked to borrow God’s inspiration for keeping awake whilst Working.
An Ill Person wants God to rest because God Takes on everybody’s Trauma.
A Newspaper Reporter said they saw God Retire, when the Hospital was pulled down.
Some Hospital Workers felt their Work was the nearest they got to being with God.
Hospital’s are the Genuine Number One God Provoking
reluctant Pilgrimage Places during most Peoples Lives.
EVERYDAY I TRY TO FOLLOW GOD
I follow God on a daily basis now,
having been diagnosed with Schizophrenia Aged 30,
Depression at 29, Post Traumatic Stress Aged 25
and a minor Brain Problem before Birth aged 29.
A few Prayers wakes me up quicker in the Morning
And I feel safer having Prayed before the night’s rest.
I have enjoyed reading the Bible in a Year,
It’s joyful how often God Forgives People in the Old and New Testament,
There is only 1 Week Reading left, I will miss the Security it gives my Mind.
Beth is improving my stagnant Religious contact with engaging Bible study.
Jesus walks closer to me, because of Religious continuity in my Life.
Dear God, thank you for keeping me Alive Today
and for any contribution to Society I can make.
I Pray for Family, Friends and Others, about everyday things, God helps my mind.
I am thankful that God has given me Loving Family, Friends, A Home etc.
Life with These Mental Health Problems is easier,
By finding out more about God Daily, Thank You God.
“LOOK, ITS GOD PART TWO”
I go to peoples houses and collect the unwanted Religious items,
there are hundreds every day, I lost 9 pounds in weight through sorrow.
One person wanted to donate herself, but said she was too old.
An elephant appeared with crosses on it saying they were Gods transport.
We cleared vegetation, finding an abandoned Church,
whilst singing “We are never perfect”.
Alive people spoke of being there God like for 500 Years,
kept alive by their captors sinning thoughts whilst dead.
I met some Cherub who said it prayed for Peoples character.
The Cherub had seen God create Adam and Eve.
I melted down all these Religious items,
Into a Figure, which they have called “God Part Two”.
It is thirty foot high, a new beginning for God,
Come along, its free, its more popular than any Cathedral.
It is painted all pink and says amusing and Spiritual things,
God Part Two, soon to be unveiled and happy to be here.
MY NAME IS GOD. YES ITS ME WHO INVENTED LOVE
Sometimes I get very hurt by it,
But most times, I am overjoyed.
Most People will find it in their lifetimes,
my name is God and I invented Love.
I hope people do not always compare their beauty to Religious Royals,
It is important to remember there are snakes in every relationship.
The greatest Love of anything is me,
You know how irritating it is, when a partner thinks they are perfect.
If I end the relationship, hopefully my apology will be felt.
Love is the greatest present I ever gave to Humankind.
How many people say, “God is the greatest Love story”?
Curse me, avoid me, in the end, I pull the strings.
Select me, I am God, even though I destroy Love,
You can have somebody and me.
I am God, I am perfect, the securest Love to have is me,
24 hours a day Love service.
My name is God, blame it all on me? For I invented love.
DO YOU WANT TO BE INJECTED WITH RELIGIOUS DREAMS?
We caught this ghost in our Church,
With our clever machine, there was no pain.
There are people having dreams, which are recorded,
The religious ones are marked with a symbol = Saved.
The Religious dreams have now been melted down,
into liquid form and put in syringes.
Our ghost was injected with Religious dreams, it’s no longer scary,
its resurrection has been voted good by the congregation. The ghost
wrote on the wall, “please Religious people can I have a Funeral”?
There was a lady in her 50’s who killed somebody,
because she wanted to be different.
We were given permission to inject her with Religious dreams,
She converted a cat and six other lives into something good.
We have collected countrywide religious dreams from mainly
Non believers and work closely with the Medical Profession.
We held a party to thank our ghost, without which our Religious drams
idea, would have been considered a bizarre Film Script.
People can select from all the Worlds Religions, every one is special.
THE MAGICAL BEING IS ALWAYS WITH HER
In her bedroom time stood still,
when a Magical Being kissed a five year old girl.
Her life was transformed, she spoke for the first time,
she wants to find out who this hero is.
Her Parents who share the same room, stayed awake for 7 nights.
The Parents had a second childhood talking about this Magical Being,
they filmed it with daughter, showing her laughing for the first time.
Parents were both told penguins would chase them if bad when children,
they knew they’d met Magical Being when young,
but their Families fanatically disputed it.
Mother and daughter have been teased so much about this,
the Family swore to be loyal to Magical Being everyday.
This Magical Being can hold on to you during your life.
The Miracle like this girl, happens globally every day.
MY DEMOLITION OCCUPATION-PLEASE KEEP SECRET
I get another weapon and smash, smash, smash Monasteries,
I feel like a sinless length of rope, but whose brave enough to hang me?
After the Church Service, well informed People? Sold my family pew.
Henry the VIII’s poisoned mind has made me a criminal.
I cover my child’s eyes with food, so they will not see,
my only DIY 100% completion = Monastic destruction.
I will change names, my God protection has expired,
Two fellow destructors were murdered by God’s bad mood yesterday.
The Monks presented me with a figure of Christ as a remainder of Life,
that our humble house was now acceptable for people to pray in.
The figure woke me up last night, it was walking around the room,
I have been Praying for 18 hours without a break,
I think I will never stop, my Religious Punishment?
RELIGION SAVED PEOPLE FROM SMOG
Dear Lord, please cast Your shadow over this great smog,
which has infiltrated our neighbourhood and crept through walls.
I hear the pain of Jesus on the cross,
when writing to the Medical Services for saving Mother,
the Angels had taken her, then reprieved her from smog.
I am fighting the smog with Church candles and Holy Bible,
pleasing passages are read out in many octaves of terror.
The whole house is full, the Church bells ringing “Oh doom”.
I take pictures for the Religious Politicians Praying nearby for the Town.
People pass by whipping their backs, calling God for help,
yet my Sister is still receiving counselling about smog.
40 Years have passed, I have been to Church every day,
praising Religious Charities of long ago who conquered the smog, so
people today live a smogless life by following their Religions each day.
WHAT DO YOU CARE ABOUT MY BONES?
The little girl, places oranges onto my Grave every Year,
as her friends sing praises round me for many hours.
This gives my bones strength to last another Year on God’s Earth,
However, I have made greater advances with my mind in Heaven.
My Grave survives, because its struck by lightning every few months,
an act of God which helps me! for my bones can hear the Church music more.
My bones are almost 400 Years old, when all good bones enter Heaven.
Yes, I am still applying through generations of my family to be Cremated,
my bones are too old to be of moral interest to the Religious archaeologists.
400 Years! The great cloud tour of the Lord is here.
My final bones breathes its last Religious thought with God perfect soil,
my most faithful companion, because I talk to the expelled snakes,
who were allowed back when saving a child from a Happy Slapping incident.
Hundreds of God thistles appear, so the Church Wardens return
and seal on each others lips a Religious kiss, which is
a final tribute to recognise my bones are in Heaven.
The little girl touches my bones and falls into restful sleep,
because she is going to be Cremated, the first for hundreds of Years.
I only have a little wait, God gave me patience,
to think more about God made Heaven and Praying there is space for me.
I WAS ONCE AN ORDINARY WHALE
I was once an ordinary whale, playing guess whose the ugliest fish,
when suddenly I spotted Gods strange creature called human.
It looked a tasty snack, my first official supper, but swallowed whole!
Many hymns were spoken inside me, God joyfully kept this mortal alive.
When going towards the surface, I saw only guilty humans on Crucifixes,
my Creator God, told me to take more pity on some things less intelligent than me!
I had wanted to eat King Neptune, for wounding me with his Religious fork.
God said “You will always be remembered world-wide in some Religious book”.
Now what’s happening, oh dear I am Praising human,
whose kidnapped many Gods creatures for creativity, without Gods permission.
Creatures attack my sinning teeth, for letting human live in my Sacred stomach.
I am in shallower waters, please God, show your eyes can save,
You have awarded me “King of the waters”, yes every fish day.
So I breathe in for 43.75 Seconds and Whoosh God’s plague has left me,
It is funny hearing it pray to God, flying through the air,
but a massive finger from Heaven breaks its fall.
The human Praises me in Religious singing tones and kissing my tooth.
Oh human, I do not like eating Religious People, God passes on this message.
My reward is to save any humans, God’s best creatures, for eternity.
GOD-WAS MY SON EVER MAD?
God has made my son mad, who else can I blame?
Yet he shrieks joyfully about Religion in a devoted loving stance.
There is a five foot seven inch man called Jesus,
Jesus can learn from my son more about God when healing him.
Do the crowds want my son to die? Afraid of Jesus’ power to heal?
My son said Jesus was very good looking,
which will help my sons healing and make money from him,
telling suspicious people, of how his faith made him well again.
Today, my son is hitting himself with a stone,
when he met Jesus, he bowed down, saying he was normal.
Did Jesus touch him? The crowd were starving for a miracle,
Yet Jesus said, “Look elsewhere for God created objects to save you”.
A few days later, my son was hit,
by a vegetable in the market place.
He grabbed the vegetable saying, “This is my God made salvation,
God created fruit and vegetables for me to be well”.
My son has rescued his own sanity by working out his God diet.
I pause, did God ever breathe insanity into my child?
Or was it quacks? who falsely said they loved God the best.
They told him, “God is most puzzled by your illness”.
However my son’s faithful verdict reigns over all his doubts,
trusting Jesus is the best rule of life.
MY LUCKY DAY
The stench of hope, humans pushing people over,
cries many times louder than, correct, yes most seem like animals.
Minds are on, who knows where? Yet excitement is still here,
yet even the near dead will win because God cares.
It is thirsty work, one dreams of drinking water when awake,
some people make you sick, by them seemingly dying in front of you.
So many hopes, but not all of them can win today.
The leader will soon evaporate, when if ever is the next visit?
I hope I have saved families torn visions today, by working for God,
heaven knows how much my tongues spoken effectively?
The pay is my attempt to inhale the Masters Teachings,
instead of gifts, my neighbour must love me for this.
People were too concerned with themselves or with their family,
not humble enough to say to me, “How are you”?
We clear up the litter, 2 bodies included, who scorned us for that?
However, we recorded our Teacher converting them into life.
I don’t want years added to my life, for my own thrills today,
the bread is mouldy, my hair is falling out, but who cares!
Thank you Lord for letting me follow someone perfect at least,
at work for one day next week with my Protector Jesus Christ.
PUMPKINS ARE RELIGIOUS - READ THIS THEN YOUR BELIEVE
My house if full of evil, God hating pumpkins,
but if I sleep upright, they will vanish into Heaven.
The pumpkins started falling from the desks when I said the Lords Prayer
and started eating all my religious objects.
I have had 6 Vicars in here all turning orange,
because the pumpkins thought their religious talk was too complicated.
My stolen religious objects are weighed by the chief religious pumpkin,
then the objects are thrown in the air and wind God,
decides if they will be thrown into Heaven or Hell.
Top of my Religious list was Victoria Plum,
who had 7637 Prayers said to her in 120 seconds by one person.
She sang the best Religious song and turned the pumpkins into plum jam.
A multitude of bats stuck between Heaven and Hell,
stored sway the jam and gave it to the Sacred people stuck in hell,
who had dared to sleep lying down and the evil took them.
My religious objects fell out of the fire and started talking in tongues,
pumpkin God wrote a 969 page letter of an ancient Religious apology.
A Saint outside sold me Victoria Plums pro Religious shadow,
So every pumpkin who touches my house will be taken away,
By God’s reindeer all singing “God is here”.
THANK YOU BIBLE FOR INCLUDING MY NAME - SIMON OF CYRENE
It is so sacred carrying Jesus’ Cross, I pray louder every step,
the mob like tortured Angels screaming, Jesus said “be patient”.
If I escape, what fantasy to be killed, for following Christ’s Religion.
Sun increases delusions to provide comfort for Jesus before his renewal.
Somebody shout out “That is the cross I made”.
So I replied “The Lord God forgives murderess including you”.
My God made words froze, wondering what Jesus would think?
Jesus is still touching, thus healing the sick, not redundant yet.
Everyday is a fruitful paradise for Jesus, how lucky to be him!
I try to sing Praising Christ, but God silenced my words,
I need help, but focusing on Jesus’ pain forgives the ordeal.
One swipe of this cross could kill Christ before he is crucified,
shall I do it? But I don’t need human love, I love God.
Many centuries later, I am employed in Heaven, the best place.
I am ringing the Society promoting Christian Knowledge,
Speaking like God’s newborn child, thanking them for the Bibles sold,
With my name in it, Simon Of Cyrene, please do not forget me.
I became a Christian one minute before Jesus died,
not because I survived the taunts of me being a Martyr,
It was because Jesus forgave the Romans for invading many Countries.
REFLECTIONS OF THE DAY JESUS DIED
The family today, all dressed in bright colours because Jesus is happy,
to prove to people, him sacrificing his life, can allow people to make
Religious mistakes, knowing Jesus forgives our character everyday.
We all kissed the Cross Jesus was on, he said “everybody has courage”.
We kept putting off Jesus Teaching, bathing was essential and more fun.
Jesus is the average age to die, to die later would surely mean Jesus would
overshadow the pioneering Religious Teachings expected by his Disciples?
Somebody nearby the Cross is working full time counselling people,
That our World will never feel such a Spiritual place again.
The Cross should be taller, when dying, respect is best.
Jesus’ agony ensured he was not criticised by Religious Hecklers who felt,
God’s message could have been spread further, by Jesus in his early 20’s.
We would have rescued Jesus on the Cross today, but the awe on
peoples faces, made us realise, there is worldwide implications on today’s happenings.
When it got dark, I buried myself temporarily for respect, by Christ’s Cross.
How many minutes did it take God to create Jesus?
It was a humbling day, all of us lost our jobs,
for taking a day off to see an innocent God die.
However, it was God’s day, the smell of death has a Religious duty,
reminding people, there will be another day like this when we die,
we will then be transported to, now what did Jesus say?
PLEASE READ THE BIBLE, MATTHEW CHAPTER 8, JESUS SAVES 2 PEOPLES LIVES BUT MANY PIGS ARE KILLED - THE STORY BEHIND THIS
Jesus, I am going to sue you,
for killing all my pigs who had Religious names.
They were my rock, I prayed with them each day.
The problem is you Jesus are so important, God will not punish you.
Does Jesus have the same nightmares as me of being bankrupt?
So what if 2 people were healed by Jesus?
The money people of Nazareth can afford to pay me Compensation,
because their most eccentric son Jesus made a mistake,
murdering innocent defenceless pigs in this way is sinning, nobody is above that.
I light black candles everyday on the dead hill side,
wailing for my only Religious companions, bring them back to life Jesus.
I am still spiritually alone and Jesus is now dead. Jesus saying “Sorry”
and granting me a place in Heaven would have been good compensation.
However recently, I sang to Jesus’ followers on the hillside,
about my pigs, about their origin of their Religious names.
Jesus’ followers all stood up, surrounded me and Prayed for me,
they could see why I was angry with Jesus.
The next day without prompting I preached,
why Saintly Jesus rescued 2 peoples lives.
Come along who ever you are to my daily Jesus hillside teachings,
My new pigs are pleased and ready to die in Jesus’ name.
“WONDER CHILD SAVES BOILS BOY”.
The boy and his Mother screamed quietly to God each night,
pleading for the boils on his face to be placed in God’s hand.
Two of them are near one eye, God’s magnificent Creation of a human,
yet God seems deaf and at School the boy is hailed as “God’s reject”.
At School, a new boy entered the assembly hall, everybody stared as
if moulded into clay. He say’s “God loves everybody Here”.
He rescued the boils boy, by squeezing the boils without human pain
and said “Everybody’s body is wonderful in God’s Creation”.
The boils vanished, but for one hour appeared on the Children’s faces
who taunted him, making them respect God given pain.
“God will find some good for boils, God wastes nothing”. said the boy,
They asked his name and he smiled, saying “only J E S U S”.
“Is that it”, said one pupil, “What kind of a name is that”?
“One who listens”, said Jesus, “I want to get
to know people with out me being on trial”.
Teachers raved endlessly about this “God loves him boy Jesus”.
Innocent one did no more cures, it was just coincidence and forgotten.
The cured boy when asleep saw Jesus doing Miraculous Miracles,
yet deep down knew that God had made the World a difficult place.
The boy prayed that whilst Jesus was alive, he would teach lessons
of people loving each other more,
with a love that will last forever on earth.
THE INBETWEEN DAY - EASTER SATURDAY - WHAT TO DO?
Awake, glad to be alive on God’s Earth, considering our Boss Jesus
was allowed to die so horribly, God, do you care about us?
I am Unemployed, bored and hungry, no rules about Miracles were left,
Going home would mean my Families Death, no God exemption card.
We should have got autographs of Jesus, so we can use the money
to continue Christ’s Work, that is if any people will accept us.
Prayers have abandoned my tongue temporarily, because Jesus,
the ordinary People’s Hero, could not be saved by God.
God let the World down yesterday, what help were we but scared.
Jesus implanted a lasting Heavenly Spirituality into us when Dying.
This morning, some of us Jesus Disciples, thought a nice death from God
would be eating poisonous berries, the enemies have Killed our Judas?
We have flaws in our words, because God made sinning Humans,
But Jesus was hungry enough, to pass on his Life saving Religion.
Yet where do we start? How do we get the Message spread?
Let us swim for an hour to stay fit, Jesus might appear on water again?
We cannot be simple fishermen, ordinary People expect us to save them.
Let us find ourselves a new Sacred Place to pray all day for God,
to give us signs from Jesus, what powers we have, not delusions.
These are our thoughts after 15 minutes today, an ordinary day?
THOUGHTS ON MY OWN BAPTISM INTO GOD LAND
Sorry Vicar that I accidentally head butted you when Baptizing me,
You told the congregation how bright Gods stars shone.
I go to the toilet over myself quite a lot,
But the best scattering over me has been Jesus Prayers,
By my Parents who love God more than me.
I am only 6 months old, but the smell of Gods flowers,
Makes me think how lucky I am, for Jesus holds my hand.
There are Graves of little children younger than me, including my friend,
so I thank Jesus and the Saints for keeping me alive this long.
Yet already Christian Messengers have seriously taught my Brain that
These children are alive in Heaven lucky land.
Mobile phones are ringing and most Peoples singing is awful,
but God watched over them to this miraculous place. a bombed
out Church, only hit 2 days ago, by satans earth agent. The 600 Year
Old Font welcomes me as the 5000th Baptism of Gods children.
I saw Angels all around it singing my name and telling me,
About the Feeding of the 5000, this number will be special in my Life.
I was told it was not riches nor living that long!
Yet Jesus really wants Gods presence in my life,
When an adult, which God will radiate clues, in my child life.
SOME OF THESE MAKE SENSE, SOME OF THEM DON’T BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS!
BY MATTHEW(GNOME) OULD-ORAM
FORGOTTEN RESTORED TICKING
They put in a case, yes lots of Welingmoten,
Then they let it lie to Rembbremberzz, those who have sung.
The entry had many tiptoes attached to its mystery,
Thus it’s you who have forbidden that Enranger of longing.
Weirdness always received the most votes, style won the day,
Overcast, underrated, the plus was pulling the anxiety.
Step over the calm, crisis is hissing your craving,
It’s gone, melt your Dear ones to fit in.
All Memo digging, battered but triumphant, what bonded Globe are you?
Ripe, torn, raise the clipping, follow the rancid deceit.
Bad, but why learn the good in saturating the curdling?
You always have been flying and conning the Prxx Nets.
I was in a car accident just over a week ago,
Now I feel like dying in the supermarket, everything’s very quick.
My Mum and I are singing in my Aunt’s car “Let’s all sing”,
Suddenly I break the front window with my glasses case
And escape by jumping out of the passenger window,
My Grandma seems surprised.
An Ambulance has arrived, my Aunt tries to prevent me escaping,
I offer imaginary petrol to a car I flag down, not eccentric?
I am running fast, my brain feels weightless, ready to gush out,
Phoning my friend =security, but thinking I may soon die.
My Mum has a serious Heart condition, my Grandma is over 80,
I am ringing my Dad, a real person, the Police car picks me up.
3 cheers for the Police, they had 5 cars at my Grandma’s house.
A few days later I thought I heard my Dad say to me,
“Mum will not survive this, we must talk together”.
The Psychiatrist is diagnosing me with “Post Traumatic Stress”
I imagined the above about Mum, the brain is all powerful.
I really want to get better and I am back at College.
My Grades are going down and my illness
Is deemed serious enough to warrant doing retakes.
I have finished my tablets after 4 months,
Thank you Psychiatrist, I have my identity held high.
I will never again be Mentally ill, such things don’t happen to me.
WAYWOOD STONES OUT RAPIDS
1600 Monsters are attacking my Camp Site,
I rang my Question Mark, who said, “Retribution to them all.”
Now some of them are escaping into Rice form,
I must read the ‘What a funny code’, to register, “What is that?”
It is all right for you craving for some,
But I broke my spots by laughing about nothing.
The Game of moving motions was stolen by broody Monster,
Who was arrested by the Robber for mentioning about knees.
Please stay at my Camp Site, a ribbon haired delight,
But if you are slow in the Monster will attack evil kindness.
Steadily, painful, Monster Camera, oh no, protect my innocence.
Can you outwit the ruin of Monsters by simply paying their address?
POSITIVE THINGS HAPPENED IN THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL
I had many sensible conversations with rational People,
Thank you Parents for visiting, my brain needed Family images.
The gym helped ease the Depression, one finished by 10AM!
Occupational Therapy was interesting, varied and ran by caring people.
Although I read books, to start with it was all about World War I,
It gave me nightmares and increased my illness, Obsession had won.
We are playing bingo, a very normal popular activity country wide.
I like spotting the Hospital rabbits, wishing I was them?
The food is excellent, well done chefs, lucky to have such nourishment.
It’s release day, thank you Staff, you should get Medals,
For looking after me so well over the last 5 Months.
I will never forget you for helping my Brain.
GOODBYE REX BUT NOT FOR LONG
Rex was taken so quickly To Heavenly Realms, it was within a Week,
We knew something was wrong when we were told to catch a taxi,
Instead of getting a lift from my Sister- in- Law after our holiday.
I left Rex’s bedroom at the Nursing Home and in the corridor
Turned back into the bedroom saying “Nice to see You”,
Because I knew his Life schedule was closing.
It is good Rex died about 12.30 AM, so on the Anniversary of his Death,
People will hopefully be asleep at that time of Mourning.
What was the last Thought Rex had before he Died.
Rex’s Cushion on his Chair appears to be crying, then becomes Happy.
His Hands looked lifeless in his last few Years on Earth,
Yet his Hands helped too many People to list here.
DEPRESSION NOT A COLD
I feel Depressed, so I take Medication, it is not for a cold.
Lucky to have Benefits, but equals Stigmatization
Parents support us well, but at their Age, it is not fair.
I feel Depressed because I have Mental Health Problems,
My Wife and I cannot have Children for we are both Mentally ILL.
No Paid Work for over 10 Years, Sorry World Working People.
I find it hard making Friends who have Paid Work and Children.
But Hey! I Drive a Car, have Food, Drink and a House and got
Married 3 Years ago, Thank You Wife for helping me.
I am well enough to do 18 Hours Weekly Voluntary Work for Worcester Cathedral, a Local Hospice-“St Richards” and at “Greyfriars”, a 15 Century National Trust House.
There are many People more Mentally ILL with Depression than me.
I may be on Depression Tablets for Life,
But they give me Bravery in the-so called Normal World.
Talk about your Problems, make your Story known to help Others.
Get help straight away, I did, it has saved my Life so far.
TURNING TOWARDS THE MOUNDS
The Agenda is turning into different Metals each Day,
It gets smaller too, because embolden moods win the Victory.
The gambling Machines give out the way to ride the Realms,
That Pavement is ours, its Death is originality of Cremated flair.
Fussing the candy hits the Glass which nobody Imagined, Powers are mashed up with hyper Weirdness and deliberation. The time was Hi-jacked by snapping symbols suffocating aimlessly, Our Age is not every one’s guess , this State is reeling into the drilled. Clap the air into brightness, of Crains and ears combing the style.
The stagnated Palm gave visibility to our window Ledge Existence
And People over 800 give sculptured vanity to Pictureless Zones.
This Pearl Poor shattered the banishment of corking Personalities,
Chimes on pains of Lacquer is the Gloom of solitary findings.
The feel peel Eel Communicates with Evil, Wickedness Pleasure,
Until the They shrink into Odours of pleasure split Cravens.
Down in the Crimes of beginning, Our style is liquidating,
Roaring, Boring urging snoring, bites and Wafers rest.
POSSIBLY HAPPENING BEFORE MY BIRTH
I am Diagnosed as having a Minor Brain Problem before Birth,
My Mum was ill during Pregnancy, I have never Blamed Her.
She said “You might have been starved of Oxygen for a few Seconds.”
When being given Instructions to find something, It usually it takes longer,
Sometimes I stay Silent or get Angry, thus letting Others Win.
The MRI Scan showed no Brain Damage, some Areas are missed out.
When Growing Up, I suspected a Small Problem, but got on with Life,
But many different Paid Jobs Ended, the Longest lasting 7 Months,
Yet Voluntary Work gives me Confidence to overcome Stigma.
A Doctor said it was not Uncommon for People with My Diagnosis,
Not to have a Girlfriend until 33 like Me, or not at all.
I take no Medication for the Above, Self Problem Solving helps Me best.
Don’t Hide away, Nobody is Trivial, Everybody Helps Others.
I will Record my Experiences of this Illness at my Local Medical Museum,
To show Fear can be overcome and give insight to a Persons Brain.
SIMPLY VANISHED INTO QUEENDOM OF WOVEN
I am sleeping into my flip flop tug of Weeds,
While the bogus lisps are ruggedly turning the nodding into Raptures.
My Bed sinks upwards into Roofs long Abolished,
I am fretting about the hugging of Foes which enlarge my Toes.
Scratching the Plotters into wrong hands will gain empty Pity,
Expose the Heirs, so it cures the Frankness.
The Whispers eats Particles and sends them to the Wrong Address.
Puzzles eat nests, so floating can reproduce hooked Woes.
Can you throw wobbled Hairs? Or fry them on the Forgotten?
One can Hide away with tentative caricatures, who Melt the Outer.
The Puzzles when injecting spookless Germs, blend unto Thin.
ONE IN 100 PEOPLE HAVE IT
I have been Diagnosed with Schizophrenia,
I Heard Voices telling me to Rob a Bank and another time a Sports Centre.
The Voices then Images lasted every 10 Minutes, EG, “Car Death”,
Then seeing Myself run over by a Black car, but now they are Gone.
My Family and Medical Profession have Helped me by Positive Advice.
I have also Read many Books of Peoples Problems and them being Overcome.
The Government Persecutes Me because of My Mental Health Problems,
Telling Friends and Voluntary Work Places to provide News about Me.
The Government don’t want Me in Paid Work due to Me Harming Others.
UFO’S which landed in My Friend’s Garden Control my Thoughts.
They make Me Laugh at Bad News,
Or I think People are Laughing or Talking about Me,
Even if they don’t Know Me or are in a separate Room.
I have been the Greatest Poet in the World for 18 Years now,
My Friend takes 0’s of the Number of Internet Hits My Poetry gets.
My Autograph must be given out soon to My Millions of Fans.
Touch My shirt sleeves and Your Life will be Perfect.
If You hear or read My Poetry, It will Cure Your Woes.
My Prayers bring World Peace for I am a New Saviour,
Who Has Conquered the World for the Best of Everyone.
IT WAS UNLOCKED OF SHADOWS
Slow Memories of fake Blood keep enabled Frowns,
On the Descendents of larger Quests once more.
Fungus on Newspapers has started a Revolution with Faces on them,
Was the Science of Life to difficult to hold on to that Theme?
Open, shut all day, nothing to Understand, bleep the Systems once more.
Stunning made You leave the burning Frost of yesterday,
How many Mouths have Expired by endlessly tackling senses of Life?
My Happiness has willed on Honour, so what, show off again.
Bubbles licking the ground, intermingle with the Little People called Human,
Don’t rubbish these Words, the freak Head blows away shattering Bricks.
This Poem, is it One? Was devoured by pits of trembling, so What!
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER-CANT YOU JUST SAY NO?
Spot go away or it will Kill Me,
I have looked at it 100’s of times a Day.
I must not leave a glass of Water Downstairs Overnight,
for a Person will break in Our House and Murder Me by Poison.
It is 30 Years Ago and still it seems Family, Friends and Myself,
Will Die in some Accident or be Murdered, especially over a Weekend.
When aged 30-37, I Lived at My Parents Home and was Worried People would break into my Bedroom through an impossibly small Window.
This Problem will Never go away when ever I sleep There.
Every piece of Clothing and Kitchen ware must be Rotated without fail,
Otherwise, by lack of concentration, I will make a Mistake,
Which will ruin the rest of the Day for Me.
I must Wash my Hands a great deal after going to the Toilet,
Otherwise one day I might forget and pass on Germs to Somebody.
It might be by shaking ones innocent Hand when Working at the Cathedral,
Then they may Die aged 31 and leave a Widow aged 28,
With 2 Children aged 1 and 3 and then my Life is over.
BLAZE THROUGH TIME
I want My Name frozen on all the Worlds Hum drum Ways,
Send Signals after Me, when I Kidnap the CV’s.
My Legoscream is eagerly naming them after the Clipping.
The Privates are suing Me, for insuring each Fan I own.
Wigit and Ligit explode when they Penfold my eek.
It’s 140 Pounds wide requiring what do you call it each night?
You will have Logging in Your Belly, so rumble out Peers,
That’s my Trembling expulsion, though the Wires are Hatching.
That “Oh My” gave Birth to a new Test on Exactly,
The VAT was Knighted by a Trembling through the Clear.
It was Churned by the Rocking of the slices pinning the Droves,
Who presumed that peeling shock and prompted the Halting!
The Plot smacks the Ailing who rap out the Square.
I like the Colour of your Shirt,
As the Evening closes in on your Eyes.
I heard you have so many Kind Personalities
And have already told me of Daily Mistakes.
Well my Shoes froze when melting the Pantomime Leantils
And blew my Thimble telling People she was ok.
All the notes tell me “Cook Eggs on the Motorway”,
Something different, “Have a Good Life”, People love that remark.
I want to drop into a Circle like feathers and honey,
The Filltot seems impossible to translate your Rave around.
The spluttering and splattering was full of Mysteries and pointing,
That cup of ketching was the best Welcome ever.
What do you want me to write next?
The humdrum on that flaking is groovy and hip.
Are you Afraid of the Petered Up, because your Rascal is near?
Hi, my Name is Blank, shall I say that? On account of rumbled sneers.
TIMBER IN THE GRILL UP
Kill the dark shadows with a Strangled Scream,
Touch the dead air feeling in the Square for 5 Minutes,
Then your skin will never harm your Weirdness again.
Hiccup for Freedom, because my Eye Petals are up for ransome.
The skipping rope is jumping over the House
And I always Sapphire my nose on Slimey.
The freak out Radio has the damp stolen again,
Wrap that kink with Jigsaw which puzzled the how.
The Telescope read my temperature on Hiccups,
Because the neighbour has bleeped another tip toe coin.
The salt was made hanging for Our Quaintness.
4 hill woes of churning are going to Bed again,
Rip that Lake from the brandishing of pause.
Open my signature saying Please to the Caricuture,
Seeds of ridicule are only desires for my lens.
A FINE RELATIVE CALLED REX
I Miss a Name called Rex, My Father- in- Law, He has not Deceased, but is benefitting the Heavens Population. Rex treated me as ‘Well’, not somebody who is Mentally ILL.
Thank you Africa for letting Rex Help People there. How did you feel in Church the 1st Time after your Childhood Accident? World War 2 nearly Killed You, when you almost took shelter in a Church, in Bristol, England, which was Bombed Murdering People underneath it.
You made it past the Average Age for a United Kingdom Man, despite having a Killer Medical ILLness called “Arthritis” for over 50 Years. Rex’s favourite Musician was Mozart, from which an Orchestra, called the “Sovereign Collection” recorded a Song “Mozart 40”. It was released in the Pop Charts on Rex and Joy’s Wedding Day-
“3 APRIL 1971 AD”
Rex and Joy went on Honeymoon in Skye in Scotland.
He is in the Best Sky Now.
MOVEMENTS ANGRY DARK
I have 2 legs, 2 hands and 2 eyes, So I have nothing to Complain about.
I gave up sugar in my tea 20 Years ago,
But please don’t tell that Adult,
As I have grating skin when awake.
Let’s creep around Town with our Cells held high,
Otherwise we might get burnt and kiss a Heavy.
You can buy a new Back at the Market,
It’s free, Global, best Discount in the World.
If you turn left, your high hopping will Shine with Pride,
There is a swamp nearby which sprays Skulls with Perfume.
Oh my good, my Memory is sexy as our pity.
People expels Here, because I never think about the Winner,
But I realize nobody does, that Tail shakes our Shame.
THEY ARE MOVING DELETING
A delicious Light Bulb is weeping your conscience again,
When you were minding your Fleas, near the Sons of Salvation.
Kind to your Tail, weight lift the Clocks-Hugo style.
The Ink has Retired, stamp on the rush, Head stands rule.
Weird Antiques have dry rotted my Empire of Lack lusted pondering.
The Trail was moody, then it gassed Waylaid by beckoning.
The Hand Hummer was outlawed by presumption, swift bows.
Collect those Ravines, crate your Low before the core.
WHEN BETH AND MATTHEW FIRST MET
I never wanted to go into a Computer room again,
But when I entered, My Life changed hopefully for ever.
She was only a few feet from me,
I wanted to get to Know Her and not look for Anybody else.
I never spoke to Anybody in the computer room,
But I Listened to people’s Conversation learning more about her.
It was my Silence that intrigued her.
In 6 Months we spoke only once, she said “Hello” and I ignored her,
Yet that 1 Word gave me Hope for the future.
She was doing and enjoying some Wonderful Voluntary work.
In that 6 months of Silence, I worked out at the Gym,
Playing Badminton, Tennis, Walking and
going on the Exercise Bikes were my Saviours.
I wanted her to see I was well physically and improving Mentally.
We enjoyed our First proper Conversation in the tea room,
Giving a CV of our lives, despite being Strangers,
Because we wanted to get to Know each other better.
The Best thing was her Kind Heart which will never Leave her.
If she had left the Class before We spoke,
I would have asked somebody to pass on my Hopes to her.
We both have got our Problems like everybody in the World.
Let’s thank each other for wanting to get to Know One another.
Thank you Shrub Hill, an Excellent Mental Health Network, for helping Both of Us in our lives.
Hopefully our Love will last For ever.
FIRST QUENCH SECOND FLAKES
My lucky Number has always been 42, it was the 1st Word I spoke when in the Earth’s Womb.
Exactly on my 42 Birthday, I gave Birth to Twins.
All the People in this Sphere applauded and supported me.
Now I have 42 Children, so my Temperature is perfect.
I walked 42 Steps to keep my features alive,
These Turbines will be leaked into my children’s Bizarre ID.
My Hosblend auctioned my flavored 42 Engles hoping for slime.
Henwock has never awoken a Flekling, lucky Germs pregnate .
My Middle name is 42, the number will save Zozered, Now I crawl 1764, 42 X 42 Legs longs every day.
I have ripped the surname of every Cothing in preserving my 42.
So now I follow the Greatest Pitalings instead of Human Ongers.
PATHS MELTED SACKS OF NERVES
You can only call me by recognizing my Life of steam.
A Pilchard Cream are parties of hungry Jelly standing astonished,
That away game of steel gives back my Rationality.
Trapped, Sulphur gone, waving equals sorrow, breathe carefully, still,
It was not the wollow you chose, skip to evil Hectares.
Zonguna in your solar swings into a Quiver,
Won saw the other, one captured the invisibility of science.
It was in the Creeping, the truth angers one, Great me,
Giving shoulders to humiliate the Realms of Disney security.
You have picked in public the liar-Agog and Waver,
Arrest this humiliation which is life of Bonding, distance now.
MOISTURE ON THE BOX
I am not Bozowing or a paid idyllic living patter of snaring,
But my elbow celebrates people’s Skulls, to fumbled stains of thread.
This scent of everything is dumped on the trembling,
But the glare slashed the crumbling Strangle of Welting.
Multiplication is the Pedal Memory, fitfully sworn under,
The density was etched onto the Stabilization of Reality.
Punctuality of premature hung crumbles lay with the Sensational,
Humiliate Tingling power, jellify the crawls of team Split egos.
MY GREATEST HUMAN ACT
I have been Dead for 2 Minutes now,
I am glad I agreed to die.
This means People in Poorer Countries have extra Years Pain free.
Some bits of me felt like a Heart Attack when living.
Nobody will be punished for my Wishes are humane
He loved me for wishing his Death,
Because his back was Painful for 1000’s of days.
It is the most Worthwhile gift I have created.
You don’t become a hero but you gain respect.
Child volunteers who are dying are Giving Most years to grateful ones.
The children receive Better Packages, helping the vulnerable in Hell,
It is not a race, but patience, for politeness will save the day.
I am the first, the best, how Brave I am,
Plus writing my biography on my Grave Stone in a Rubbish tip,
Has meant my spirit will Infuse the Air,
So others will say “It is my Turn to die” so another body Wins.
DREAMS SPEAK OF WHISPERS
I am a Gnome
And I Sit on my Throne all alone,
Happily in my Dome,
Which is made out of Chrome,
So I shall have to Pay Out a loan.
This is Sincerely my home,
Which is Full of my moans,
So how many do you Want lively bones?
The numbers are Mentioned concerning the Zones,
But what about your Musical tones?
All I Swell up on are peoples groans,
In a village which is called “Mighty Sloane.”
SILENT FORGIVENESS SALUTES
My head Nose guards the ‘Yes’ shop,
The Condensation seeps into customers’ skins to battle tails outside.
A different worker swallows the toxins of Youth,
Incase the pavement Dwellers change into Bundles of sincerity farewells.
The locks are a 345 digit Puzzle embryo,
People’s hands measured Cheery weeping of blending loyalty.
The back room has a 300 footdrop for lair ongre twills.
Lights go out to warn the robido Menu of diseases.
The queue is hacked down by seeds spitting,
Penny things into the shops history of toiled glare.
Workers stamp onto litizing translating Phone book spies of crumbling.
Contents who never trembled, heard their insult yes and no.
Comb the door, Ye blonde purples must hurry the Slime of Gozz.
Every bodie’s In, night mornings expand your X2T3,
HUMAN HAPPILY LURED TO GOODNESS
My Icy grip conforms to your 3.58 am Midnight curse,
129 dead by your Throat before you recognize my Tummy button.
Build up the Defences, before they claim the heir of everyone,
Wake up, another political party Evaporated, literature struggles survival.
You smelt of Sweets, but only misled leaders are lured to goodness,
Passports cancelled, planes go to the North Pole.
Secrets are expelled, Speak and spell out the bells,
Decades left of what? Discoveries abound in different ways.
I want to express myself, but Danger abounds, normality wins the day,
Roar, crash, danger equals give me three, every time we meet.
Unravel, scrape it together, put It into a Test tube,
Tell them Now, not too late? The worlds greatest again.
Hello, can I put my slippers into a Public place?
CANDLES OF WOULD EQUALS BRAVE
Why don’t you Pick up that piece of dust, it causes family Rows and upsets grandma’s lipstick.
How would you like it Spread over your washing?
Big enough to be photographed by Curious scientists.
No professional cleaner will Remove it, too scared and risky, ZZZ.
Somebody rang the emergency services, because it’s getting Mouldy.
A shadow can play with it and Adopt it.
The teacher has been Naughty stealing the dust’s parent wisdom.
The piece of dust is eating up the tiles, causing An embarrassment
Go into the bomb shelter, Gelatine can be taken in, only once.
Now everybody is Gathered outside, hypnosis with towels offer hope.
A Policewoman catches the Dust, taping it on her truncheon,
Now its secure, Visitors allowed, be filmed with dust, nice with nails.
FOOT UNDER THE THRONE
People gathered to Scatter their mourning over the last fairy,
You think people’s dying imagination has Wilted these fine creatures?
The fairies’ ancient Stories are under curfew, by not collecting reaps,
Hush, it’s good, the shooting stars killed the fairies Sanctuary forever.
The earth angels play the lyre in a Packed hall of shame,
Because other creatures failed the earthly Test to Wibble humans.
Garden birds crash into Imagination, hijacking adopting fairies,
No steel stones, Studs enter cremations, fairies abolished sleeping.
A mermaid sold her spots, to preserve fairy remains,
Which she showed to Divers in the wreck where she gave life.
The angelic Graces no longer shamed by attacking fairies, squeak.
Humble Bellied, it was you saying myths of fairies in petrol pumps.
All the fairies are Sponsored by a legend, it never cracks or jumps.
Fairy games are Sancified mercifully to save the imaginative ego,
Females worked out the science fiction, to do a Wish for fairies.
The magic stalked the fairy Bandages, eclipsing their smiles,
Fairies on earth are good Domination, saving the human torch.
IT HAS GONE TOO FAR DOWN
I saw 7 butterflies in our Fantasy eating mystery questions,
It could Ruin our life, so what to you.
Well butterflies simmer through our bodies at night,
Prompting us to Hack out and disguise ourselves as floorboards.
We take pictures of Them, but every coping refuses our pleas.
So we hide in Boiling freezers, to Vibrate the sneering alarming good,
the reporters keep on Messing around with tempered territory misses.
We leave home every day to become Rapid and cynical,
Thus our worries are faster than rapids, which trembles the core.
So what happens if you Rip off our lives?
Too late, the butterflies will soon quake at your meticulous pandering.
“Hello to Mr and Mrs butterfly, can I blinker your Bravery?”
Vapours exhausting gliding pedals, symbolize good will to butterflies.
THE FLARE OF THE GLARE IS MIGHTY
The giant is still Eating growth medicine, 12 foot tall, who Crawled until 29 years years old. Giant can roll his words and take them to Passers by, somebody Squashed them but pleased giant could swop his ears around.
Now he’s swinging on a plank, which floated 3 people today. Giant eats his hair, turns pink and is apologetic to Imagination. Followers call giant a Loser as a pleasing nickname thank you. Now Giant floats among symbols catering for the 80 plus Who- dunnit.
Now meet his parents, both 24 foot Tall and slick solid,
They eat people’s fences, only ones which ring out Slayed- potterings.
They glued 265 children in 11 days onto large pieces of Grass,
Giant’s parents whisper spinning Wheels and drink melted down bewares.
It was the Sleeve which gave giant Medals of freedom for tall people,
Bankrupting the heirs of River high meant pondering to quivering slurs. Now Giant is victorious in Gliding the snaring world,
To a pretty picking Plucking, who knows what to make of you.
© GnomeingSpriteicus 2011