VANCE SCARAB - GRIMNEY MEMOIRS

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by VanceScarab

THE LAND OF GRIMNEY

 

VANCE SCARAB'S

 

MEMOIRS

 

 

 

AGNOG

 

A three headed creature of legend that ate itself. Agnog was not well known for his intelligence, and once he had eaten the inhabitants of several villages, Agnog found he was unable to move due to his gigantic weight, and as a result he had no choice but to eat himself to stay alive. The results of this were inevitable. Rest in pieces Agnog.

 

 

BERLOG BOTTE

 

Berlog Botte. Hard to describe this creature. Tall, green skinned with a very large head and one big yellow glowing eye. Berlog believed that he had psychic powers and that he was able to read minds. His strangest habit was telling people about  what had happened yesterday, as he could see into the past as well as the future. He announced that he would die on a Tuesday and that his death would result from him falling off a cliff, sure enough, one Tuesday, Berlog leapt from a cliff top, and as he fell people heard him shouting 'I told you so!..          

 

 

CANDER VOLTE

 

Another eccentric creature. Volte was obsessed with magic and the ambition to become the most powerful wizard in Grimney. Volte built himself a metal hat with a long conducting rod protruding from the top of it.  Volte believed that if he allowed electricity to enter his body through the helmet and into his head, that he would be able develop super human powers. Volte's desire was to fire lightning from his eyes and fingertips. So whenever there was a thunderstorm, Volte would climb to the top of Grimney hill and wait to be struck by a thunder bolt. It took many years for him to achieve his ambition, and when finally he did, and a powerful bolt struck the rod on his helmet, the  charge powered through his body causing Cander Volte to explode into a million smouldering pieces..

 

 

GARADAN ZAFFE

 

He was one of the wealthiest, greediest knights in Grimney, everything he owned was made of gold, and he did not like to let it out of his sight. He heard rumours of a gold mine in the East, and how it was guarded by a dangerous monster. Zaffe scoffed at the stories and climbed upon his gold armour plated horse and rode many miles to find the mine. On his arrival his exhausted horse collapsed and died due to the excessive weight of its armour and Zaffe was thrown through the air, landed heavily and shattered his nose.  He was forced to give up his quest, and returned to his castle empty handed.

 

Zaffe ordered his surgeons to rebuild his nose, but this would be no ordinary nose, it would be a six inch solid gold appendage! Once completed Zaffe would sit proudly on his gold throne, staring cross eyed at his splendid snout. However, all the gold in the land would never be enough, and once more Zaffe set out on a quest to the gold mine. Upon reaching his destination his poorly paid servants dressed their master in solid gold armour, and Zaffe, following his gold nose, entered the mine.

 

Severely distracted, and visually challenged by the lengthy, shiny six inch protruberance, his eyes barely moving from their cross eyed position Zaffe ventured onwards, his suit of gold armour weighing him down. By the time the foolhardy Knight encountered the large hairy red eyed, sharp fanged monster, Zaffe was too exhausted and distracted to fight.

 

The big beastie had its own hunger, more natural than the greed for gold. Garadan Zaffe proved to be the perfect dish, plated in gold. However Zaffe was not entirely tasty, and the big beastie, having eaten the man whole, spat out the solid gold nose in disgust, as it had left a bad taste in the monster's mouth.....

© VanceScarab 2011

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