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by Grimnian


I stared curiously at a bowl of fruit that stood upon the sideboard. The

 bowl seemed to be moving. My mouth dropped open and my eyes

 widened. Granny Smith who was talking about her younger days, fell

 silent as we both looked on in awe at the bizarre activity in the fruit bowl.

 As we watched, each fruit slowly began to decay: first, the plums aged

 rapidly, white fluffy mould spreading across their skins. Then the apples

 turned brown and shrivelled down to nothing. Only the bananas stayed

 ripe, swelling to twice their normal size as if nourished by the destruction

 around them.


Granny Smith leapt from her armchair, waving her walking stick like a

 sword above her head “Logan” She said, false teeth rattling in her gums.

 "Princess Victoria Plum is in danger! She has lost her crown to the Great

 Banana. The fruit bowl warned me of her plight. 'We must rescue her”.

 She reached forward, shouting “Take my hand!”. Granny pulled me from

 my chair and on to my feet. Then, rushing across the living- room floor,

 her walking stick pointing the way, we ran towards the fruit bowl. A huge

 vacuum swept from inside, and, head first, we were both sucked into the

 glass container.


We tumbled helplessly within the misty darkness, cold air rushing

 through the gaps in our fingers, arms flapping in hopeless attempts at

 flying. Below, a strange yellow landscape began to form. I shut my

 eyes.... SPLAT... I hit the surface. SQUELCH... Granny landed nearby. I

 opened my eyes and looked down. “Where are my legs?” I yelled, at the

 same time glancing around for Granny Smith. I calmed down,

 swallowing deep breaths of sweet-smelling air and realised that I was still

 in one piece but with my legs submerged in a banana flavoured bog.

 Slowly I heaved myself from the hole, brushing the slimy banana from

 my burgundy skin. A whip cracked behind me. I swung around and there

 stood a monstrous one eyed strawberry, “You are trespassing!” He

 snarled, strawberry juice dripping from his jaws and lashing out with his

 whip he ordered me to move.


He dragged me to Banana Castle and forced me down into the depths of

 the fortress dungeons, where many despondent fruit and nuts dwelt.. Sour

 Grapes whined for their freedom: melancholy Water Melons, forever

 thirsty, called for refreshment: Monkey Nuts swung across the bars

 hooting angrily at the Banana Guards: Walnuts with no walls to sit upon,

 sat instead on battered wooden stools, silent in their sorrow: A downcast

 Star Fruit wept in the shadows, her hand held mirror broken. “But I'm a

 star” She muttered “I'm a star”. Lonely, in a cell all on her own, I saw

 Princess Victoria Plum, the Damson in distress, a white handkerchief

 held to her pretty purple eyes.


The dungeon doors rattled as keys turned in the lock and with a shove I

 was pushed inside and the cage slammed shut. “Lord Lemon and the bad

 fruit have stolen my crown. We must retrieve it and save planet Narna”

 said Victoria tearfully. “Fear not” I replied “I am Logan Berry. I am here

 with Granny Smith. We've come to rescue you”.


One hour later the guards returned and frog-marched me upstairs into the

 stately splendour of the Grand Hall, where awaiting my arrival lurked the

 Lemon Skinheads, the Strawberry Whip and, next to him the villainous

 Lord Lemon. “Welcome” he smiled, his sharp teeth glinting in the light

 from a giant chandelier. The Strawberry cracked his whip. “Enter” he

 commanded, “Our Master, the Great Banana will see you now”.


The throne room stood in true magnificence. A colourful orange and

 apple mosaic swept the ceiling; a plum and apricot carpet covered the

 floor and a huge sparkling Fruit Bowl rested at its centre. At the end of

 the room stood a stunning jewel-encrusted throne.


The Great Banana was not in sight – only a small earth-type banana sat

 upon the silk padding of the royal seat. I approached, picked up the fruit,

 peeled back the skin and took a large bite. “Lovely” I thought as I

 chewed contentedly. Suddenly, alarm bells sounded, lights flashed and

 the Strawberry Whip, Lord Lemon, and Banana Soldiers stormed into the

room. The Strawberry screamed, juice spraying in all directions.

 “You're a cannibal! You have eaten our King”. In panic I dropped the

 half eaten banana to the floor. “But he seemed so lifeless?” I pleaded.

 Lord Lemon grinned evilly. “He was taking a nap. Seize the assassin!”

 The guards surged forward and I surrendered.


A ceremony was quickly prepared. Lord Lemon sat upon the throne

 awaiting his Coronation for he would now be King. Everyone had been

 invited to watch this wicked event. Prisoners had been released. Only

 Princess Victoria Plum did not attend as she still languished in jail. Lord

 Lemon grinned and called for his crown. “From this day forth I will be

 known as the Great Lemon” He boomed, smiling wickedly.


An explosion of activity took everyone by surprise as the glass ceiling

 above shattered and Granny Smith crashed through to halt the

 proceedings. An army of ferocious-looking Oranges swung down on

 ropes, and in the ensuing chaos Strawberry Whip became Strawberry

 Crush under the bulk of a falling orange. The Banana Soldiers

 jumped out of their skins. Lord Lemon hid behind the throne as the

 situation seemed to be getting a trifle out of hand, with fruit flying

 everywhere. The forces of Lord Lemon turned into lemon and banana

 pulp. The fighting drew to a close. The defeated Lemon still cowered

 helplessly in the shadows. Only punishment awaited him now.


Granny Smith received a round of applause for her daring assault. “Not

 bad for an eighty year old” She said, giving a thumbs up to the Orange

 Squash Gang.


Princess Victoria Plum became Queen that day and in her Coronation

 speech she said “Granny Smith and Logan Berry, you make a fine pair.

 My subjects will never be rotten apples or bitter lemons. Love nature and

 care for all creatures, for if you do not, your lives will never blossom and

 be fruitful”.


It was time to leave. Granny and I entered the Fruit Bowl Porthole and

 were transported back to Earth.




© Grimnian 2011


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