GRIMNIAN - THE ADVENTURES OF LOGAN BERRY
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I stared curiously at a bowl of fruit that stood upon the sideboard. The
bowl seemed to be moving. My mouth dropped open and my eyes
widened. Granny Smith who was talking about her younger days, fell
silent as we both looked on in awe at the bizarre activity in the fruit bowl.
As we watched, each fruit slowly began to decay: first, the plums aged
rapidly, white fluffy mould spreading across their skins. Then the apples
turned brown and shrivelled down to nothing. Only the bananas stayed
ripe, swelling to twice their normal size as if nourished by the destruction
Granny Smith leapt from her armchair, waving her walking stick like a
sword above her head “Logan” She said, false teeth rattling in her gums.
"Princess Victoria Plum is in danger! She has lost her crown to the Great
Banana. The fruit bowl warned me of her plight. 'We must rescue her”.
She reached forward, shouting “Take my hand!”. Granny pulled me from
my chair and on to my feet. Then, rushing across the living- room floor,
her walking stick pointing the way, we ran towards the fruit bowl. A huge
vacuum swept from inside, and, head first, we were both sucked into the
We tumbled helplessly within the misty darkness, cold air rushing
through the gaps in our fingers, arms flapping in hopeless attempts at
flying. Below, a strange yellow landscape began to form. I shut my
eyes.... SPLAT... I hit the surface. SQUELCH... Granny landed nearby. I
opened my eyes and looked down. “Where are my legs?” I yelled, at the
same time glancing around for Granny Smith. I calmed down,
swallowing deep breaths of sweet-smelling air and realised that I was still
in one piece but with my legs submerged in a banana flavoured bog.
Slowly I heaved myself from the hole, brushing the slimy banana from
my burgundy skin. A whip cracked behind me. I swung around and there
stood a monstrous one eyed strawberry, “You are trespassing!” He
snarled, strawberry juice dripping from his jaws and lashing out with his
whip he ordered me to move.
He dragged me to Banana Castle and forced me down into the depths of
the fortress dungeons, where many despondent fruit and nuts dwelt.. Sour
Grapes whined for their freedom: melancholy Water Melons, forever
thirsty, called for refreshment: Monkey Nuts swung across the bars
hooting angrily at the Banana Guards: Walnuts with no walls to sit upon,
sat instead on battered wooden stools, silent in their sorrow: A downcast
Star Fruit wept in the shadows, her hand held mirror broken. “But I'm a
star” She muttered “I'm a star”. Lonely, in a cell all on her own, I saw
Princess Victoria Plum, the Damson in distress, a white handkerchief
held to her pretty purple eyes.
The dungeon doors rattled as keys turned in the lock and with a shove I
was pushed inside and the cage slammed shut. “Lord Lemon and the bad
fruit have stolen my crown. We must retrieve it and save planet Narna”
said Victoria tearfully. “Fear not” I replied “I am Logan Berry. I am here
with Granny Smith. We've come to rescue you”.
One hour later the guards returned and frog-marched me upstairs into the
stately splendour of the Grand Hall, where awaiting my arrival lurked the
Lemon Skinheads, the Strawberry Whip and, next to him the villainous
Lord Lemon. “Welcome” he smiled, his sharp teeth glinting in the light
from a giant chandelier. The Strawberry cracked his whip. “Enter” he
commanded, “Our Master, the Great Banana will see you now”.
The throne room stood in true magnificence. A colourful orange and
apple mosaic swept the ceiling; a plum and apricot carpet covered the
floor and a huge sparkling Fruit Bowl rested at its centre. At the end of
the room stood a stunning jewel-encrusted throne.
The Great Banana was not in sight – only a small earth-type banana sat
upon the silk padding of the royal seat. I approached, picked up the fruit,
peeled back the skin and took a large bite. “Lovely” I thought as I
chewed contentedly. Suddenly, alarm bells sounded, lights flashed and
the Strawberry Whip, Lord Lemon, and Banana Soldiers stormed into the
room. The Strawberry screamed, juice spraying in all directions.
“You're a cannibal! You have eaten our King”. In panic I dropped the
half eaten banana to the floor. “But he seemed so lifeless?” I pleaded.
Lord Lemon grinned evilly. “He was taking a nap. Seize the assassin!”
The guards surged forward and I surrendered.
A ceremony was quickly prepared. Lord Lemon sat upon the throne
awaiting his Coronation for he would now be King. Everyone had been
invited to watch this wicked event. Prisoners had been released. Only
Princess Victoria Plum did not attend as she still languished in jail. Lord
Lemon grinned and called for his crown. “From this day forth I will be
known as the Great Lemon” He boomed, smiling wickedly.
An explosion of activity took everyone by surprise as the glass ceiling
above shattered and Granny Smith crashed through to halt the
proceedings. An army of ferocious-looking Oranges swung down on
ropes, and in the ensuing chaos Strawberry Whip became Strawberry
Crush under the bulk of a falling orange. The Banana Soldiers
jumped out of their skins. Lord Lemon hid behind the throne as the
situation seemed to be getting a trifle out of hand, with fruit flying
everywhere. The forces of Lord Lemon turned into lemon and banana
pulp. The fighting drew to a close. The defeated Lemon still cowered
helplessly in the shadows. Only punishment awaited him now.
Granny Smith received a round of applause for her daring assault. “Not
bad for an eighty year old” She said, giving a thumbs up to the Orange
Princess Victoria Plum became Queen that day and in her Coronation
speech she said “Granny Smith and Logan Berry, you make a fine pair.
My subjects will never be rotten apples or bitter lemons. Love nature and
care for all creatures, for if you do not, your lives will never blossom and
It was time to leave. Granny and I entered the Fruit Bowl Porthole and
were transported back to Earth.
© Grimnian 2011