Oh Christ it’s Christmas once again
Shopping trips that cause me pain
Hulking parcels back and forth
Bloody Santa from up North
Riding in his sparkling sleigh
All right for him it’s just one day
For us it is the December grind
Where parents travel far to find
Some wretched gift, or plastic toy
A gift for a girl or little boy
And then there is that stupid tree
Chopped down, displayed for all to see
In our living room lit by light
Or sprayed with snow to make it white
Utter madness it seems to me
As the family gathers in misery
To fall asleep at the dining table
For they’ve eaten more than they are able.
Greedy gluttons everyone
I hope dear Santa brings a gun
To blast a hole in their festive cheer
At least I’d smile when it’s New Year.
Seasons greeting everyone
But who the hell is having fun?