Dead Eyed Boy

Circular lights

Snake behind me in the mirror

I change gear

The world outside does not seem to care

‘Where am I going?’

‘What is my destination?’…

I pull into a petrol station

The attendant dull eyed, diffident.

‘We were robbed here last week’…

He speaks of the past, but we both know the future will be bleaker…

He fills the tank…

‘My bank accounts dry’

‘Why drive when there’s no place to go?’

No smiles, just blank looks.

‘My cheque books inside my coat, on the back seat’…

The attendant retreats; eyes wide.

I reach into my coat, soul remote, sweat on my brow… 

‘Now do it, NOW’…

‘On your knees I have a gun’…

One brief moment there was life in the dead eyed boy

‘Feel my grief son, lie down, lie down and die’…

The road ahead led arrow straight,

Pity the dead eyed boy, but it was the city, the city that killed him, sealed his fate…

‘Grim place this, lovers don’t kiss, they screw,

Children sniff glue, this nations filled with human waste, what a bitter taste what a waste of life’…

‘I tried to slash my wrists once, but the knife was blunt.

I never cried when my mum died,

We lived in a slum crumbs for tea,

She was a waste of space; I resent her for what she did to me.

Dad was always drunk, skunk breath in the morning. Sprawled out over his bed, he ruled us with fear’

‘Dear Dad, glad you’re dead’.      

I put my foot down, I wanted to leave this place behind,

 Find a more human face, away from the ugliness, death, disgrace.

‘I guess there are no cities for men like me,

but I can kill and steal, I have my own free will,

I always seem to get ahead’…

I smiled…

‘At least city boy, I ain’t dead’…

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