Father Christmas was riding on his reindeer
With Presents gallore for all good children
Bit hungover because he drank too much beer
A fat porkie belly too, so cuddly for his women
Father Christmas entered the timecapsule
In Disco ball, Present time to Bumblecrack's
But then it broke down so he switched to his mule
With so many heavy gifts breaking their backs
Father Christmas arrived at the Bistro
& saw SMacca asleep snoring by the fire
So as not to awaken her he hovered on tiptoe
Nearly strangling himself on the snowmen-lights wire
Father Christmas didn't notice me under the tree
So I saw his bulging parts and gifting sack
My solar plexus was twitching with glee
So I took a photo of the legend behind his back
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I don't know if I can cope with the food bill in this recession!